By: Amrit Kamaal, Peak Associate
Aries
March 21–April 19
The second the clock strikes 12 on September 1, you never miss a beat to run to your local coffee shop for a pumpkin spice latte. Maybe it’s an obsession, but who cares? The stars can tell that even if your wallet disagrees, you’ve found your motivation to wake up, go to school, work, anything. But tone it down a bit; trying to find a temporary “rebound” winter flavour will be hard with your overpowering infatuation.
Taurus
April 20–May 20
Your fall photoshoots are cute; they’re just missing the “it” factor. Try switching it up once in a while, maybe climb a tree or do some no-handed cartwheels. The stars predict you’ll be contacted by a modelling agency in no time.
Gemini
May 21–June 20
You live and breathe Halloween, so you’re in prep mode for spooky season. After breaking the bank at the Spirit Halloween outside of Surrey Campus, you’ll spend autumn experimenting with multiple DIY costumes. Honestly, the stars give you their tens; just maybe hold off the skeleton makeup during 8:00 a.m. exams. Sleep-deprived students won’t react well to the cosplay of their sleep paralysis demon.
Cancer
June 21–July 22
Since Instagram came about in 2010, your account has gone through all the aesthetic phases. Christian Girl Autumn is no exception. Your feed consists of daily pictures of pumpkins, lattes, and anything else that gives off autumn vibes. The stars urge you to look up from admiring your profile once in a while, especially when you’re driving. At least the orange “road closed ahead” sign matches your feed.
Leo
July 23–August 22
The mention of anything fall-related around you is dangerous. You’re really into seasonal DIY in a Disney Adult way. Here are some future tips from the stars: not everything needs to taste like pumpkin, so throw those pumpkin spice sausages away.
Virgo
August 23–September 22
Your nail game was always on fleek, coordinated to seasons or events, but lately, your sets have been getting too unoriginal for your liking. Try showing your devotion to Christian Girl Autumn by using real leaves and drops of chai cold foam under your clear acrylics. Sure, it may cause a lot of irritation, but the stars predict your head will be back in the game.
Libra
September 23–October 22
You need to learn some patience, October only just started and you’re already reposting about how there’s only 80 days until Christmas. Your clock is three months in advance, seeing as you ordered mini pumpkins and spider webs in July. The stars recommend using this method for your lectures as well, you’d be on the President’s Honour Roll at this rate.
Scorpio
October 23–November 21
Not everyone falls in love in October, so maybe it’s time to focus on those grades instead. It’s been three years of you reposting “October will be my month” to the point where the stars might personally find you someone. It’s written that your November might actually be your month, not sure if it’s 2024 though.
Sagittarius
November 22–December 21
This is it, your time to be different from all the others. You act like Señorita Awesome, finding some way to complain about simple joys like pumpkin patches and fall photoshoots. The stars are straight up telling you to get your act together before Halloween because you’re no fun!!
Capricorn
December 22–January 19
Your favourite part of this season is throwing on pyjamas to school and calling it a fit, maybe even bringing along a plushy and blanket because why not. Coincidentally you might also have a bad sleep schedule, but at least you’re a coffee addict! Otherwise, the stars don’t clearly read you staying awake very long during midterms.
Aquarius
January 20–February 18
You either need to stop giving Tinder dudes a chance or find a new spot, because the pumpkin patch is officially run through. Every year, you put in all the effort for a cute date at a pumpkin patch with matching outfits and a petting zoo, and the energy is almost never reciprocated. The stars predict a reaction by taking your next date to Fright Nights, it’s way more engaging when you’re screaming in terror — even if you’re screaming at the length of those neverending lineups!
Pisces
February 19–March 20
Hello Kitty girlies who are excited for the autumn vibes, a Winners would hate to see you coming. In your mind, all you can think of are the amount of people you can trample for some limited edition Hello Kitty blanket. Using your woollen scarf to slingshot to the back of the store to check every crack, crevice, and “coming back for it later” stash for any merch you can get your hands on. As long as you’re not a Depop reseller, your stash’s safety from the TikTok Sanrio girlies is guaranteed for this season.
