Ms. Valentine Presents: SFU Hookup Locations

Your new favourite love guru knows all the good spots

0
366
Anthropomorphized sweetheart. It’s light pink and has “BE MINE” written on it in red.
ILLUSTRATION: Sandra Cao / The Peak

By: Izzy Cheung, staff writer

Hello, all you SFU lovebirds! I, Ms. Valentine, have wisdom to bestow on all couples, from  those who met in class last week to the high school sweethearts (congrats on making it this far). Think of me as the older sister you never had. I’m here to make sure that your Valentine’s Day with your boo is perfect. Since February 14 lands on a Wednesday this year, I know that many of y’all will be on campus in classes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a fun and funky-fresh V-Day celebration! I’ve compiled a list of the best places for you and your lover to get a little spicy — so without further ado, here are some more of SFU’s top hookup spots. 

On the stairs leading to the bus loop under West Mall Centre 

Y’all know this spot is the best place to relieve stress after a crammed bus ride. Imagine this: you’re on a busy 8:00 a.m. bus, holding onto the same pole as a member of the preferred gender. The bus skids to a stop. You go flying into your pole-sharer’s arms. As you look up at them to apologize, your eyes lock. The chemistry is un-de-niable. You’ve been breathing each other’s (and the rest of the bus’s) air for the past 15 minutes. When you both get off (the bus, of course), the feeling is like going to the West Mall Tim Hortons only to see that there’s no line. Yay!

Images Theatre 

This one caters to two types of couples, so buckle up if either of these suits you. Option one: there’s no one in there except the two of you; the lights are dim, and the projector is displaying the old PowerPoint slides of a PSYC 100 lecture (charming!). Option two: the lecture hall is full because there’s an actual lecture occurring as you and your beau get down and dirty. You’ve heard of shacking up at the movies; now y’all can try shacking up in a lecture. Crossing this off your bucket list is in, and being considerate of your classmates who definitely do not want to see or hear that is out. Yay! 

On top of one of the campus pianos 

Let’s be real y’all; everyone wants to be serenaded by their partner at some point. As Duke Orsino says in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, “if music be the food of love, play on.” What better way to show your love than to make love and music on top of one of the campus’s pianos? Here are some of the songs I’d recommend you play while enjoying the piano with your love: “Fruit Salad” by the Wiggles, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” by Randy Newman (get it?), and the Canadian National Anthem. Yay! 

The Peak’s office 

Worry not, friends, you can still hunker down someplace quiet to simply bask in your partner’s presence. Past the bookstore and deep in the tunnels of Maggie Benston Centre is the perfect place to take your partner — The Peak’s office! Here, you’ll find a surplus of ancient computers (vintage!) as well as a couple of comfy couches to do whatever you’d like on them (just keep the staff out of it, please). Yay! 

X’s and plenty of o’s,

Miss Valentine

Leave a Reply