By: Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer
In classic corporate fashion, Netflix has been determined to kill their platform in recent years — almost impressively, I’ll say. Prices are surging to fund increasingly shitty Netflix Originals, while the company laughs in the faces of devoted audience members by cancelling or removing well-loved shows.
Netflix needs to make a major shift in its marketing strategy. A new PR approach, if you will. Netflix should take on the world of reality TV and replace all its content with shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians, Vanderpump Rules, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, The Real Housewives of . . . you get the point. Forget documentaries! Remove everyone’s comfort TV series! What we (I) really need to be happy is to live vicariously through ridiculous people’s ridiculous lives.
You might be thinking, what about current contracts between Disney+ and Kris Jenner that only allow the Kar-Jenner children and their bajillion businesses to profit off that platform? What about Hayu, a streaming service that already exists to serve the needs and desires of reality TV fans across the globe? What about (uncultured) people who don’t care about watching reality TV? Let’s discuss.
To address the competition of platforms like Hayu, Netflix should leverage the audience they already have to bring momentum to the reality TV movement. Netflix is the most expensive of the streaming services — good for them but bad for us — and has the highest subscriber count. Unscripted reality competitions shows such as Too Hot to Handle and The Circle have SLAYED on Netflix, demonstrating that people desire chaos and will thus invest their time into it. Even Drive to Survive, a show about cars that go vroom, has been Netflix’s most watched show at certain times. Netflix needs to take notes from the successes of these shows (and the demise of many of their Originals) and shift gears to focus on what the people want. The people (read: me) want reality TV. I don’t know why no one has thought of this before. @Netflix, if you need a new PR Coordinator or Director of Good Ideas, call me 😉
Netflix should also change how their price tier works to include exclusive content from the reality stars we know and love. “Basic with ads” should be abolished immediately — there’s no question about that. “Basic” should be renamed to “Luv Triangle” and include behind-the-scenes content from Netflix’s reality dating shows. We want a Q&A with the current bachelor and a day-in-the-life vlog from Love Island. “Standard” should be a collaboration with Miss Kris Jenner herself to give Netflix the upper hand, which Disney+ does not have. I propose it be renamed as “Kar-Jenner Supremacy,” and include content such as videos of Kylie singing “Rise and Shine” to Stormi, Kris Jenner doing Kris Jenner things, and Khloe and Scott teaming up to prank the rest of the family. Lastly, “Premium” should be renamed to “Bravo-verse” and feature content from the Bravo family of reality TV — the Housewives (and house-husbands), Andy Cohen, the Below Deck cast, and more!
Give the people (me) what we (I) want to see! Call up Kris Jenner and offer her a deal she can’t resist — as long as she gets her 10%, there shouldn’t be a problem.
