A class-ic mistake

Student signs up for History of Rap class only to find it was History of Rhapsode.

0
597
Ruins of an ancient greek pantheon
The classroom Falogie wasn’t looking for.

By: Craig Allan, Peak Associate

First year SFU student Jerry Falogie has recently made a substantial impact on student discourse this March. While a campus-wide demand of course restructuring is in motion, not many are aware of what sparked it. The Peak sat down with student Jerry Falogie to learn how a non-refundable misunderstanding became the leading topic of SFU senate proceedings.

“I was so excited for my history of rap class,” stated Falogie to The Peak. His classes were all picked, his books all ready, and Falogie was so eager to get to the campus. “I thought I was gonna learn about Kanye West, Kendrick Lamar, and maybe even ancient players like Drake, and Cardi B.” However, Falogie was dealt a devastating beat when he found out that the class he signed up for was not History of Rap but History of Rhapsode, a class about ancient Greek performers. 

“I wanted to learn about rappers and now all I am learning about is how Ion performed retellings of Plato’s work,” Falogie said in frustration “I guess me and Socrates have one thing in common . . . We both think it was totally worthless!” When asked why he didn’t realise he was in a non-rapping class when assigned books on Hesiod and Archilochus at the bookstore, Falogie thought those were just “cool new rappers” he had never heard of. 

This frustration prompted Falogie to create a petition demanding SFU make lecture material clear to potential students in order to avoid misunderstanding. In his petition, Falogie accuses the university of “just using catchy click-bait titles that trick innocent students into taking boring classes.” At time of writing, the petition has amassed over 1,000 signatures, with overwhelming support from many students.  

While Falogie’s actions have gained popularity throughout campus, there remain detractors of the cause. Many argue that the core of this issue was not the university “tricking students,” but instead Falogie’s ability to properly understand what he was signing up for. However, Falogie refuses to acknowledge any assertions that he needs to “read things good.” 

“Look, I’m just a guy tryna get by,” rhymed Falogie. “All I want is to learn the things I thought I was going to learn.” Due to the recent amount of support, Falogie revealed to The Peak he would be starting yet another petition. This time demanding SFU provide students with an actual history of rap class because that would be “fuckin’ dope.”

Before the interview ended, Falogie asked to wish all his supporters on campus “the blessing of a harmonious life.” However, Falogie became immediately vexed and discontent after stating this. “Crap! That’s from Homer’s Odyssey! I’m actually learning stuff in this class!” He immediately packed up his stuff and grumbled something about needing to go listen to Future to “clear his head.”

It seems like by the end of this semester, Jerry Falogie’s “rhap” game will be thicker than Greek yogurt, and maybe we can all be thankful for that.