Written by Maxwell Gawlick, Peak Associate

Any student who has taken a course with a sessional instructor knows how awkward it is trying to squeeze into those shoebox-offices, how unhelpful those 10-minute appointment slots can be, and how sad it is to learn that the aforementioned shoebox-office is on a glorified timeshare plan. In a drastic attempt to solve this problem, sessionals have pooled their money and leased the vacant lunch kiosk in West Mall Centre. 

The kiosk is infamous for having hosted a never-ending cycle of unsuccessful businesses selling overpriced sandwiches and coffee, none of which have survived for more than 20 minutes. The sessionals, sources speculate, are not afraid of becoming the next to be spirited away because it’s not like they have a good history of job security in the first place. 

The size of the kiosk is enough for three instructors to hold appointments at once, with overflow into the dining area during exam times. Some instructors have even started hosting their lectures and seminars in their new office. With Tim’s coffee literally seconds away and the installation of a projector screen, the learning environment couldn’t be better. 

Early reports show that performance has skyrocketed. Classes have reported better quality tutoring and greater understanding of course material. With demand for sessional-taught courses now spiking, SFU has issued a statement urging students to sign up as early in their enrolment period as possible if they want to get into one. 

The new system is so foreign to students that some have actually started to confuse the WMC dining area for being its own satellite campus. 

“Though nothing is conclusive, it’s beginning to look like it might actually be valuable to have your own space instead of being shuffled around like cattle,” says Les, a sessional based at SFU Abandoned Kiosk campus. Les’s real name has been withheld by The Peak for anonymity. “Even if that new space is literally the size of an abandoned, probably haunted lunch stand. But I can’t say so conclusively. I don’t have enough tenure for that.”