By: Winona Young

The Peak has compiled this list, giving you these seductive sex tips that will take you from nun to slut in no time.

Overall tips:

1. Safe sex is sexy sex

To prevent a urinary tract infection (UTI), be sure to pee before and after sex. And if you’re really ambitious, just keep peeing before, during, and after your partner comes.

2. This is a kinkshame-free zone

Kinks and fetishes are a natural part of everyone’s sexuality. When your partner shares their kinks with you, be open and respectful. Unless you think it makes them weird — like furries or foot people. If you do, dump them! Having a weird fetish means they don’t deserve love.

3. Chocolate and chill?

Get a box of chocolates, hand-feed each other, and then heat things up by hiding a North Indian ghost pepper inside one of them!

4. Talk meme to me

Don’t be afraid to laugh a little in the bedroom. Talk dirty to your partner, but in memes! Throw in lines like “Can I haz blowjob :3” or “Get outta me swamp, donkey. . . and get inside me.” Nothing gets a guy’s cock hard like a Shrek reference.

5. Heart-racing roleplay

Nothing gets the blood going like a scary movie. So bring a little excitement to your bedroom by bursting in with a puppet outfit and a tricycle, and ask your lover in your deepest voice, “Do you wanna play a game…ya lil’ slut?”

6. Mutual Masturbation

Get naked, face each other and just Beat It, Michael Jackson-style

For Vágiñas (these tips are listed first, because men come first often enough)

1. Get her in the mood

Make her wet by not even touching her — spray her with a hose.

2. Compliment her!

Praise her body and mix in different and unexpected senses. Comments like “Your breasts are gorgeous, so fragrant and muscular,” will always be appreciated.

3. Nothing says sexy like wearing nothing underneath

Put on your highest heels, your reddest lipstick, and the freshest garbage bag you have in your house. Your partner would ask, “Can I take YOU out?”

4. Slide on in

When you’re inside her, be sure to move your fingers, hips, and pelvis in all sorts of ways. Go up, down, change it up: start by sliding to the left, sliding to the right. Then criss cross! Criss cross! Cha cha now, y’all.

For Penises – Giving you just the tip(s you need to satisfy your man)

1. Blowjobs

Make it dry like sandpaper. How else are you going to polish that wood? Throw in extra teeth too. It’s a good way to get the blood flowing . . . literally.

2. The Grapefruit Technique

Your forefathers know of this tradition. Simply cut a hole in a grapefruit. Your instincts will kick in and you’ll know the rest.

3. Eating food off each other

Dip that dick in some caramel, sprinkle some nuts, and add a fruit garnish or two. Guy Fieri would feature this dish on his show, Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives (& Dicks).

Finally, get nice and sexy with this sexy Spotify playlist, compiled by our staff at The Peak:

• • • “Gangnam Style” — Psy
    • The Dora the Explorer Theme Song
    • “Sandstorm” — Darude (10 Hour Version)
    • “Cha-Cha Slide” — Mr C the Slide Man
    • Skrillex’s entire discography
    • “Retrospect for Life” — Common
    • Gregorian monk chants, but the monastery is on fire
    • “My Heart Will Go On” — Céline Dion
    • Three minute loop of audio clip saying “PICKLE RIIIIIICK”