As every good Beyoncé fan knows, you don’t just end up at Lemonade. Sometimes you gotta go through super awkward red carpets and poor performing singles in order to get to your Grammy gold. Additionally, every good university student knows that the next four years of your life have the potential to be really great or really awful. You might not think that you, an awkward little university student, has anything in common with the queen herself — but you might be surprised.
First year: Destiny’s Child
See, this is where it all begins. You’re young, innocent, and super controlled by your label. You have big ideas and big dreams — everyone has to start here. You know the next few years ahead are going to be hard, and you’re gonna have a lot of Bills, Bills, Bills, but you’re also an Independent Woman (or man or other gender gem), AND you’re a Survivor. This year will get a little Bootylicious because all healthy eating habits are out the door.
Second year: Dangerously In Love
By this point, you’ve kind of adjusted to classes so now you aren’t Speechless when you’re called on in tutorial. You start out with it being just Me, Myself & I, but you do eventually meet an amazing person and you know that you’re Crazy In Love. He’s your Baby Boy and you’re his Naughty Girl; you start seeing the Signs and suddenly . . . you’re Dangerously in Love. This is the year that has that one stand out moment that you’ll remember forever but the rest kind of fades into the background.
Third year: 4
This is the year that most people forget, and is actually super underrated. You finally figured out how you like to Party and you know a little bit more than just 1+1. You realize that person you dated for a little too long in second year is the Best Thing You Never Had and you’re also doing so much work you feel like it won’t stop until the End Of Time. You constantly ask yourself “who needs a degree if you’re schoolin’ life?” — but then you remember that you need a degree because, you know, alleged employability or something like that. Third year is also the beginning of the Countdown to graduation.
Fourth year: Lemonade
This is what you’ve been building to. You’re in the sweet spot. You may be up All Night to finish some of those final assignments but you’re not Sorry for both working hard and playing hard. You’ve learned not to wear Six Inch Heels when you go clubbing so now you Don’t Hurt Yourself. Due to working super hard you’re probably gonna go through a bit of a Love Drought but you’re also enjoying your Freedom. As you’re getting ready to graduate, you’re getting your resume and cover letters in Formation and you’re ready to keep moving Forward.
Fifth Year: Beyoncé: [Platinum Edition]
You might be a little Jealous of your friends that graduated last year but you’re not going to be Haunted by the ghosts of students past if you stick around a little bit longer. Yes, tuition is going to cause you to Blow a little more money — but hey, Pretty Hurts. It’s not going to be the most Flawless year but you’ll be able to take it and make it a Flawless Remix unlike ever before. You’re not simply Beyoncé, you’re the Platinum Edition. Why? Because you’ve improved upon what was already excellent and gave it just one more go.
Sixth Year: I Am . . . World Tour album
If you are still in university after six years, that’s completely OK. Why? Because the I Am . . . World Tour album is just straight up full of bops. You’re Crazy In Love with what you’re studying and all the opportunities you have. You know that all of your experiences are Irreplaceable and you know how to Listen well to all of the amazing people that you meet. In terms of your dating life, your Ego is in check and you’re always ready to put on your Freakum Dress and tell your SO to hurry up and Put A Ring On cause you know that you are an Upgrade for your bae. And when you DO graduate you’ll be able to scream At Last.
