- When a super attractive person is the biggest douche
Right, so you meet this super attractive person on Tinder (or . . . in real life) and you think you’ve hit the jackpot because, aesthetically, this person is 10/10. If they were a maple tree, you would have tapped them already. But after you mistakenly give out your phone number to them, they do a one-eighty faster than Donald Trump can send out a Tweet full of lies. Their trifling ass is definitely worse than sporting socks and sandals.
- That friend who’s late for everything
Whenever you plan a hang-out with your crew, you always have to schedule it half an hour early for that ONE friend, just to make sure they arrive on time with everyone else. You know their excuses all too well by now — “the bus was stuck in traffic,” “my mom wanted me to help with an errand,” and “I had to walk my dog” — even though their mom doesn’t even live on this continent and their “dog” belongs to the next door neighbour! See, I don’t know about you, but I would much prefer a friend who makes bad fashion choices but actually has an internal alarm that functions.
- Being forced to go to expensive bars
There are two types of pub-goers that exist. The first will scope out the cheapest happy hour possible and refuse to drink if they have to spend more than three entire bucks on a beer. They’re the equivalent of old ladies who spend hours clipping coupons from seven different newspapers. The second type probably doesn’t even have “budget” in their vocabulary. Being university students with very little money, spending $10 on a drink is soul crushing. Who wants to have to live off instant noodles for the rest of the month? I’ll tolerate your Birkenstocks and socks . . . just let me get drunk off my ass for cheap.
- High school classmates who try to initiate conversation at bus stops
First of all, if I have headphones on, it’s a clear sign of “I like my music better than I like you, so leave me alone.” Second, just because we went to the same high school doesn’t automatically make us best buds. I’m pretty sure I only remember you from that one biology class, and you skipped a solid 30% of said class. The teacher harboured a deep hatred for you. This awkward chat will start with “Hey, how are you? I haven’t seen you in [insert required number of years]” and end like a cringy soap opera. There are only so many “did you hear that [insert name here] got engaged/pregnant/married?” before it gets weird. I would gladly stare at someone’s socks and slides for a thousand years (forever waiting for an empty 145) instead of talking about high school with you.
- Guys who hog squat racks for far too long
If you take more than half an hour to do your squat routine, you’re spending too much time flexing for the ‘gram and not enough time actually getting those gains. There’s resting between sets and then there’s “I got abducted by Pennywise three days ago and now I’m back to finish my set.” If you’ve been doing the latter, then you can also bet that everyone in the gym wants your head on a stake. Gym-goers in white sport socks and dad sandals are a million times more tolerable than these assholes.
