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Your man drinks water upside down — what’s he trying to say?

PeakmoSpoof
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EIC
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So it happened again — you’re at dinner, and at a pause in conversation, you man excuses himself, balances on one hand and his head, and drinks an entire glass of water! What is he trying to tell you?

Peakmo relationship expert Mo Grithe provides some possible answers to this common conundrum:

He’s got wandering eyes!

“Some men will do anything to cover up that they aren’t listening to you — they’ll cover their face with their hands, they’ll wear a scarf around their heads while you’re talking to them, or, as here, they’ll try to convince you their feet are their head — while their real eyes wander!”

He’s got hiccups!

“Oh, wait, you said he’s drinking water? He’s probably just got hiccups — this is an old remedy for hiccups used by many — men included.”

He’s got a compulsion!

“I can’t imagine any other explanation for this. I mean, maybe he. . . does this compulsively? Do you notice any other unusual tics that he has? This is just something to accept in some people — it’s not their fault.”

He’s avoiding wrinkles!

“I don’t know what else you want from me. Maybe water keeps his skin hydrated, and standing upside-down counteracts gravity? I can’t imagine why he would do these at the same time, or that this even comes up often.”

He’s got a secret!

“Look. . . just ask him what he’s doing. I don’t know.”

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society