SPOOF: Eight times Drake was born in Canada


1. Born in Canada in 1986

Rap superstar Drake was born in Toronto on October 24, 1986. He started from the bottom — you know the rest!

2. Born into the Canadian consciousness

Drake was arguably born into the Canadian consciousness with his portrayal of Jimmy Brooks in the television series Degrassi: The Next Generation. He played the character from 2001 until 2009, when Jimmy graduated from the high school! Drake has been quoted saying that being a Canadian actor pays less than being a Canadian teacher — which may explain why he moved on quickly!

3. Reborn as a rapper

In 2006, Drake’s identity as Canada’s flyest rapper was born with his mixtape, Room for Improvement. Arguably, he was really born as a rapper with his third mixtape, So Far Gone, when he was legally and literally birthed by producer and long-time collaborator Noah “40” Shebib. That’s right, literally birthed! The tape featured now mega-hits “The Best I Ever Had” and “Successful.”

4. Born as a Clergyman

No, not as a Catholic priest — Drake was “born” as a member of the celebrity cult The Clergymen in 2007. They grab their celebrities young— Drake was only 22 when he went through the ritualistic process to become a member in December 2010, which included a two week vow of silence and hours of daily stream-of-consciousness rhyme-writing!

5. Born in Canada in 2012

Superstar Drake was born again in Vancouver on February 29, 2012, before touring to promote album Take Care released in 2011. The Club Paradise Tour he embarked on became the most financially successful hip-hop tour of the year, garnering over $42-million. With this third birth, Drake was finally legally renamed Drizzy, and this birth involved no host body — he constituted his body in layers from an energy state in a cold suburb!

6. Born without teeth

While this really falls under the last heading, it deserves attention on its own right. Drake’s 2012 birth saw him born without teeth — Drake currently sports three adult teeth. This third birth fell on a leap day: he’s only celebrated three February 29th birthdays since, but Drizzy is legally seven years old!

7. Borne the weight of The Weeknd

In 2012, Drake borne the weight of singer The Weeknd for the vast majority of their 2012 shared tour — after carrying The Weeknd for a solid year on his own back, The Weeknd signed with a record company that isn’t Drake’s — making some bad blood!

8. Became unborn

The Canadian consciousness awaits for Drake’s next and fourth birth, as he currently waits unborn in an energy-based state before continuing his 2015/16 tour. The next tour location is unannounced, but will most likely change according to where in Canada Drake appears upon birth. A source predicts it could be Northern Ontario — but keep your eyes open, SFU!