Letters to the Humour Editor

Dear Editor,

Do you think you’d ever do a “Letters to the Editor” segment in the humour section, you know where people write in questions and you answer them and then you publish that?

– Sharon Berkley, Vancouver, BC

Hey Sharon, 

Thanks for the letter! I don’t think I’ll ever do a “Letters to the Editor” segment. It just seems like something you’d only have to resort to if you were really out of ideas and I think that I’m a little better than that. 

-Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Dear Editor,

Could you at least publish my letter and your response to it and then label it “Letters to the Humour Editor?” I think that would be kind of funny.

– Sharon Berkley, Vancouver, BC

 

Hey Sharon, 

Although I agree that would be “kind of funny,” which is what I strive for, it still seems like something only someone who was very desperate for content would do. I don’t think that will ever happen to me.

-Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Dear Editor,

I know what you’re probably going to say but the exchange we’ve had so far would be funny to publish as a “Letters to the Editor” segment. You know, just me suggesting it and you resisting it, and then it’s funny because people will see that you did end up publishing and it be like ‘wow he must actually be desperate despite saying he’s not.’

– Sharon Berkley, Vancouver, BC

 

Hey Sharon, 

Again, this isn’t a bad idea, it’s just that I don’t think I need to resort to this kind of thing. I have plenty of great content and don’t need to do this kind of thing. However, if I were to do it, I think I’d need to write a couple of fake letters myself to go in between our exchange that had more obvious jokes. You know, just to break it up a little. But again, I don’t envision it ever coming to this.

-Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Dear Editor,

What do you think would happen if Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt, considered the fastest man in the world, were to spend time with American sprinter Tyson Gay, who is considered the second fastest man on earth?

-Tony O’Toole, Kalamazoo, MI

 

Hey Tony,

I think they would be fast friends.

-Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Fig. 1: Fast Friends 

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Dear Editor,

I think you’re the greatest, someday I’d like to grow up and be just like you. Anyway, I was just wondering, could you think of a funny name for an Adam Sandler themed board game? I’m asking for a friend.

– John ‘Johnny’ Smith, Poughkeepsie, NY

Hey Johnny,

Thanks for reading! No problem, Sandlers of Catan.

-Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Fig. 2: Sandlers of Catan 

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Dear Sharon,

Hey, just wondering if you wanted to send any more letters. I still don’t think I’ll ever do a “Letters to the Humour Editor” segment but you know . . . just in case it might be nice to have a few more.

-Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Dear Sharon,

It’s been a couple days and I haven’t heard back from you, it’d be great to get some letters. I’m not desperate for content or anything . . . I just decided this is actually a really funny idea. You know, you suggesting the “Letters to the Humour Editor” segment and me rejecting it, that’s hilarious. But, I just don’t think it’ll really work unless it goes on for a long time. Please write back.

-Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Dear Sharon,

Any letters? I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings before by rejecting the “Letters to the Editor” segment, I just thought I was going along with the joke. Please write some letters. I’m not desperate, it’s just a really funny idea, you were right! 

– Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Dear Sharon,

Okay, I’ve been lying! I am desperate for content; I always have been! I NEED to do a “Letters to the Humour Editor” segment! Seriously, I’ve got pretty much nothing else. Please, please, please write another letter to the editor asking us to do a “Letters to the Editor” segment! Come on, answer me! I can’t do this on my own!

– Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Dear Editor,

I’m glad you’ve finally come around on the “Letters to the Editor” segment. I didn’t think you’d ever have to resort to anything like this, I mean how hard can it be to fill a few measly pages every week? I’m pretty sure I could come up with enough ideas.

– Sharon Berkley, Vancouver, BC

Hey Sharon,

Thank you for writing another letter! This job isn’t as easy as it seems, it’s hard to come with ideas every week. Your “Letters to the Editor” idea was good though so feel free to pitch any of your other ideas, it would really help me out.

– Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Dear Editor,

I think I’ve helped you out enough already. Now that I know how little content you’ve got I think I might go another route with my ideas . . .

– Sharon Berkley, Vancouver, BC

Hey Sharon,

What do you mean?

– Brad McLeod, Humour Editor

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Hey Brad,

If I have more ideas than you, like this brilliant “Letters to the Editor” gag, why should I be writing to you?

-Sharon Berkley, Humour Editor

Dear Editor,

Wait, how the hell did this happen?

-Brad McLeod, North Delta, BC

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Hey Brad,

Thanks for the letter! Do you think you could send me a few more? I’m not desperate or anything I just think this “Letters to the Editor” thing might be able to take up a whole page if we have a little more back and forth.

-Sharon Berkley, Humour Editor

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Hey Brad,

Goddammit you were right! I’m out of ideas! Can you send me another letter, please? I really think with some pictures this could be a full page! Please, you’d really be helping me out!

-Sharon Berkley, Humour Editor

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Hey Brad,

Whatever, I quit.

-Sharon Berkley, Humour Editor

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Dear Editor,

Have you ever thought about doing a “Letters to the Editor” segment in the humour section?

-Stan Simpson, Burnaby BC

Hey Stan,

Back the fuck off, YOU’RE NOT STEALING MY JOB!

– Brad McLeod, Humour Editor