Although Build SFU has already selected an architect for the university’s new SUB building, their encouragement for public involvement in its design has led them to receive a number of proposals and sketches from SFU students and other weirdos. Here’s a look at some of those designs.
1) The “Student Union Bunker” (by Tom Bartowski)
Fearing a much darker world just on the horizon, Bartowski’s SUB proposal was intended to give students a central place on campus to just hang out, grab some food, nap, participate in recreational activities and escape the risk of being killed by the constant aerial attacks from our enemies. Bartowski envisioned the Student Union Bunker as a simple concrete structure that wouldn’t be flashy or over-the-top and would definitely fit in well with the school’s current architecture.
Features:
– Food court with multiple non-perishable food options.
– Blast and nuclear radiation protection
– Air Conditioning
Projected Cost:
$65 million (adjusted for WW3 inflation)
Reason it was rejected:
The concept did not include a space for a Booster Juice location.
2) The “MR. SUB SUB” (by MR. SUB)
Promising to heavily fund the building’s construction if their design was selected, MR. SUB’s SUB design was pretty much just to build a giant version of a MR.SUB restaurant. According to MR. SUB, their SUB would be a central place where SFU students could hang-out and do everything university students love, including and limited to eating MR. SUB sandwiches.
Features:
– Assorted Cold Cuts
– Maple Baked Ham
– Meatball
Projected Cost:
$49.99 million or $79.99 million for SUB/Stadium Combo (includes free medium drinking fountain)
Reason it was rejected:
Build SFU’s long-standing feud with MR. SUB.
3) The “Student Union Stargate” (by the ‘Students for Sci-Fi TV Show Filming on Campus Now’ Society)
Hoping to inspire the return of the Stargate franchise to TV and make sure SFU is a key filming location, the SSFTSFCNS’s design was to be built an exact recreation of the show’s central plot device, an actual Stargate. According to its designers, the SUS would reduce the CGI costs for any potential Stargate reboots, making SFU an even more desirable filming location and would also allow students to be instantaneously transported to other universities light years away and go to their SUBs instead of building our own.
Features:
– Wormhole area
– An information plaque about Stargate: SG1
– Our very own Richard Dean Anderson
Projected Cost:
65 million Shesh’ta (Read: Joke Submission)
Reason it was rejected:
Build SFU just never really got into Stargate.
4) The “Trump SUB” (by Donald Trump)
With a new tower on the way in Vancouver, the Trump corporation’s SUB proposal hoped, to expand the Donald’s power in Vancouver. The buildings actual dimensions or content were unclear however, with Trump simply writing that it would be “bigger and taller and fancier than any other SUB in the world.”
Features:
– Giant “TRUMP” logos on every wall
– Solid gold foosball tables
– Instead of a football stadium, a 7,000 meter 18-hole golf course will be built after the destruction of all trees and other buildings at SFU
Projected Cost:
“More expensive than any SUB in the world”
Reason it was rejected:
Trump refused to allow Build SFU to see the long-form version of his blueprints.
5) The “Studunt Unin Bilding” (by Josh, Age 6)
The concept by the youngest designer and also most likely person to actually get to use the completed SUB building, was intended as a place where “kids culd go hav fun” between classes. Along with the sketches, the proposal also included some of Josh’s absolute favourite rocks.
Features:
– Ice cream ferris wheel
– Video games
– Meatball
Projected Cost:
$5 (Kids say the darndest things)
Reason it was rejected:
Josh backed out of a potential deal after a lengthy debate concerning the “ice cream ferris wheel.”
