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Porn isn’t strictly for personal use

By Ms. X

“I have been dating my girlfriend for a few months now and I really want us to get out of our box a little in the bedroom. One of my biggest fantasies is to watch porn with her while having sex. I know she watches porn when we’re not together but I am not sure what she will think if I ask her to incorporate it into our bedroom one night. I really don’t want her to get self-conscious and compare herself to the porn star, and I am worried about freaking her out by choosing a video that involves positions or toys we don’t use . . . yet.”

Watching porn is typically very personal. What we type into the search bar is usually a private endeavour. This, however, does not mean that sharing isn’t an option. The two of you sleeping together implies there is a comfortable and trusting bond between you. Don’t be afraid to ask your girlfriend if watching porn together is something she may be interested in trying. It is important to make sure she doesn’t feel pressured to try it, so if her response is no, don’t go any further.  Now that the two of you are on the topic of your sex life, ask if there is anything she has been curious to try, as you never know what kind of fun that could lead to.

If she says yes, hooray! Try to keep your smile to a minimum and follow these pointers to minimize your other concerns. The easiest way to avoid friction is to let your girlfriend pick the video. This way there will be no worries as to why you’re choosing to watch a brunette if she’s a blonde. If she doesn’t seem too eager to make the selection, keep your choice mild for the first time. I would stay clear of anything that may give her the impression she’s not your ideal type. If you run into problems, remind her how sexy she is, that the girl on the screen is not a representation of what you find attractive, and that your relationship is built on something far more important than cup size.

Lastly, it is important to choose a video with content that matches your relationship’s sex style. Whips and chains may get you going when you’re riding solo, but if it’s something that you have never discussed with your woman, I wouldn’t suggest it for your first joint porno viewing. However, porn can be a good way to introduce new ideas into your sexual relationship. This may not be the best option the first time around, but if you two enjoyed the experience, experimenting with different videos together can be a good way to expand your bedroom boundaries.

Porn can be a fun way to elevate and enhance a sexual relationship with a partner. It is important that you both feel comfortable and that no personal boundaries are being crossed. Don’t be afraid to ask for a repeat event; you never know what other fantasies may also come true.

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