By Bryce Warnes
VANCOUVER (CUP) — Peeked Interest is a website for people who are afraid of talking to people they are attracted to. The way it works is, you sign up, and then you post photos you have covertly taken of strangers you want to fuck. The strangers will (maybe) go on the website and see that someone they don’t know wants to fuck them. Then they might contact that person. Hopefully, in the end, everyone gets fucked.
Peeked Interest was invented by a University of Victoria grad named Darryl McIvor. Right now, the site’s scope is limited to the University of British Columbia and UVic campuses.
I have been spending a lot of time on Peeked Interest lately, checking out pics of my fellow students as they rush around campus, busy not knowing they are being photographed by strangers who want to fuck them.
Peeked Interest is totally groundbreaking, but it isn’t perfect. I’ve spent enough time studying the site in-depth, and I know exactly what it needs to achieve true greatness.
One thing that’s absolutely essential is some sort of virtual currency, perhaps called PeekBux, which you can purchase through Paypal with real-world money, but also accrue through online activities.
Say you really like this one person, you could earn extra PeekBux by taking lots of photos of them. This will encourage people to keep tabs on their crushes, and develop the sort of micro-celeb web-cults that Gen Y is all about.
The website would be more interesting if you could track certain individuals and see pics of them doing various activities, like hanging out with friends, going on night-time jogs, visiting their families, towelling off after hot showers, et cetera.
Once you’ve earned or bought PeekBux, you can spend them on special services, like “VIP Access” to certain crushes, which lets you find out where they live, their phone numbers or what types of medication they’re on.
I understand, though, that having people snapping pics of you all the time could begin to feel intrusive. That’s why, if you catch someone photographing you, you can report them online, and they will be fined some of their PeekBux. This will encourage your fans to take pictures while behaving tastefully and concealing their activities, maybe by hiding in bushes near your first class of the day, or installing a surveillance system that is rigged to take a photo of you every time you leave your house.
Alternately, some people will find that they are not getting enough attention. For instance, when I first went on Peeked Interest, I expected approximately half the photos to be of me, with comments like “hey sexy luv ur sexy walk its sexy” and “you have amazing hair.”
To make a long story short, I was disappointed.
That is why, with PeekBux, you will be able to hire others to snap pics of you. You get the attention that fuels your will to live while skilled mini-paparazzi will be able to make PeekBux on the side when they are not busy following attractive people.
These changes should not be too hard to implement, and I really believe they will make Peeked Interest a legit game-changer. Peeked Interest could allow us to take our first world problems to the next level and tweet about the paparazzi following us to the grocery store, laundromat, and public washroom.
Only then will we, Generation Y, reach our apogee.
