Paige Riding
Fiancés upset they can’t hold big wedding that would have ended in divorce six months later
October 20, 2020SURREY, BC — After moving out from the rock they were living under, a couple is devastated to learn that a pandemic would be preventing them from hosting their planned 500-person wedding this fall. In a Zoom interview with The Peak, partners Lisa Valice and Samuel Collier explained how devastating this news was for their relationship. “I don’t think people understand how much we were putting into this wedding,” began Lisa. “Being legally tied together really means so much to us. It’s—” “It’s everything,” Samuel piped in, causing Lisa to glare out the side of her eye at him. “Yeah,…
Continue reading
A fevered conversation between a student and professor at 2:37 a.m.
October 12, 202011:42 p.m. hi Dr Gawner, my name is Lindsay Haugh. i am in your psyc 388 class. I will be honest, I started the paper due tonight a few hours ago and i do not think I have it in…
Continue reading
SFU’s Hierarchy of Needs
October 4, 2020Physiological needs Lofi hip hop radio - beats to relax/study to A bootleg textbook PDF missing half the pages because you were too cheap to buy the actual book A Quizlet or flashcards pile with two entries that you gave…
Continue reading
Wildlife to move into Beedie student’s forest tattoo sleeve following increase in campus construction
September 27, 2020Dear SFU, I know that with all those new stunning, only entirely gentrified cinder blocks you call your new Residence buildings are taking a toll on the wildlife and their habitats. But who can blame you? Supply and demand, baby.…
Continue reading
In-person dating horror stories
September 26, 2020Horror movie binge (by Serena) When you live in Surrey, in-person dating means that going anywhere else is a date. It also means that overrated events like Fright Night at the PNE are the best date ideas within 20km. They’re…
Continue reading
Rejected ideas for the Student Union Building (SUB)
September 21, 2020Escape room (By Juztin) As any SFU student knows, being on campus is already kind of like being in an escape room: you’re anxious, have the overwhelming need to escape, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve wasted money…
Continue reading
Apocamoth Now
September 20, 2020September 1 (Day 1): Dear Diary, New year, new me, baby. I don’t know what it is, but something feels funny about coming back to campus. I’m all settled in my dorm room, ready for the school year, but something…
Continue reading
Guy who responds with forehead picture and no caption better communicator than SFU, survey reports
September 14, 2020BURNABY, BC — A new survey expressed the SFU community’s overwhelming preference for communicating with a dude on their Snapchat friend list who “kinda sucks at making conversation” over those in charge of their university’s executive decisions. Participants compared their…
Continue reading
Professor shocked that students do not have the textbook mentioned in the syllabus emailed the night before class
September 9, 2020As Dr. Galicken’s PSYC 392 course started this week, he was infuriated to see half of the Zoom call participants turn off their cameras and the other half visibly roll their eyes when he asked them to open the course’s…
Continue reading
Students heartbroken to realize it’ll be illegal to have terrible Fall Kickoff party this year
August 10, 2020This week, students took a moment away from studying to process a big epiphany: thanks to the COVID-motivated ban on large gatherings in BC, overwhelmingly underwhelming events like the annual Fall Kickoff are officially illegal. Marking the third consecutive year…
Continue reading
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]