Paige Riding
Beedie student bails on Valentine’s Day date to check stocks
February 12, 2021February 14, 11:32 a.m. Baby Girl💦 — heyyy baby, happy valentines day! <3 hope your morning is going well and can’t wait to see you tonight. i’m gonna look so good for you mwah mwah I’ll order Anton’s to the house around 6:00 don’t be laaaate February 14, 11:41 a.m. Boo Thang❤️ — gm i can’t wait to see you in that new dress you’ve been talkin bout mmm yo can u send a pic for me rq Boo Thang❤️ — plz? Boo Thang❤️ — please baby? for me? February 14, 3:23 p.m. Baby Girl💦 — I was running errands…
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Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: February 1–7
February 1, 2021ARIES: BARK! BARK! BARK! WOOF WOOF! BARK! TAURUS: Try split-dyeing your hair, Taurus. All the cool kids are doing it. You’ve never been one to start trends, just snatch them away from every fire sign in your life and claim…
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SFU economics alumnus solves Canadian global debt crisis by suggesting we “print more money”
January 24, 2021VANCOUVER, BC — A recent graduate from the SFU department of economics, Matthew Lashuk, has gone where no other economist with a basic understanding of the capitalist proceedings of the world has ever gone before. In a widely read and…
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This is just The Sims 5: The Simon Fraser University Expansion Pack
November 23, 2020Are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you? The only explanation for this absolutely horrible, disastrous, what-the-whole-entire-fuck period of time is, of course, some piece of shit staring at two monitors above their Razer…
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Student swears by swimming in dense scholarly articles for quarantine workout
November 17, 2020When this pandemic started, I really didn’t go out and move around as much as I used to. With half the population deciding to take up running or biking for the first time in their lives during this ample opportunity…
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The only things that could save 2020 at this point
November 8, 2020With but a few weeks left in this godforsaken year, not much could be done to leave off on a relatively high note. With no vaccination in the near future, at this point, these are the only wild shots we…
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The case of the missing EIC
November 4, 2020It was a dark and stormy night . . . no, no clichés here. This is just a public roast of our boss and us getting away with it — although, our story does begin at SFU, where the only…
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What Grinds Our Gears: Courses meant for online learning shouldn’t be as disorganized as the newly adapted ones
November 3, 2020Distance education courses — not to be confused with the shitshow in-person classes now taught online — are intended to be delivered remotely. Lessons and resources appear on Canvas for the student’s convenience. In theory, the professor should have some…
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SFU saves student from exam stress by making exams 25 hours apart instead of 24
November 3, 2020SFU proudly announced in a recent mass email that, to accommodate during these unprecedented times, the university’s administration decided on the Fall 2020 exam schedule after enrollment. This was to ensure that no student had multiple exams within the same…
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An SFU Halloween choose your own adventure
October 28, 2020INTRO: It’s Halloween! And you, being the procrastinating piece of shit you are, left a major project due tonight until this morning. With someone in your house dressed as a bootleg Coraline wearing a blue mop head blaring the same…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]