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My Drunk Recipes: chicken and waffles and ranch

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Image courtesy of Evan Swigart (Wikipedia)

Mmm, nothing screams “comfort food” like a plate of fried chicken accompanied by a stack of homemade waffles. However, since variety is the tequila of life, we’re taking this old favourite and giving it a fresh start by pairing the chicken and waffles with a pool of store-bought ranch dressing. You might think we’re being sacrilegious by making changes to a classic, but don’t dismiss it until you’ve tried it.

Yield: four regular servings, or one drunk serving.

Ingredients:

Waffle mixture:

  • 2 eggs
  • 2 ½ cups of flour
  • A bunch of milk
  • Maybe some oil?
  • Probably salt. Every recipe always needs salt for some reason
  • Oh, and probably some baking powder. Or is it baking soda? Maybe do half a tablespoon of each, just to be safe.

Fried chicken:

  • Link to KFC’s website
  • Credit card number

Sauce:

  • Bottle of ranch from your pantry that you don’t really remember buying but presumably it’s still good because who’s ever heard of a bottle of ranch expiring

Directions:

1.   Carelessly crack both eggs into a large bowl, making sure at least a few egg shells land in the mixture.

2.   Beat eggs until fluffy.

3.   Laugh at the combination of words “beat eggs.”

4.   Add in the remaining waffle ingredients, taking time to laugh at the word “beat” again.

5.   Be reminded of Beats by Dre and wonder whatever happened to him.

6.   Google “Dr. Dre” on your phone and be surprised that Andre “Dr. Dre” Young is 50 years old.

7.   See a pop-up ad that for some reason reminds you of your ex.

8.   Click on your phone’s “Contacts” and start typing your ex’s name.

9.   Hit “Call.”

10.   Add the remaining waffle ingredients and continue mixing the batter until you get his or her voicemail.

11.   Leave a mostly incoherent message, and then cap it all off with your favourite line from T-Swift’s “Bad Blood.” (You know the one.)

12.   Head over to your computer and place an order for the chicken.

13.   Since your Internet

browser’s already open, swing by your ex’s Facebook page.

14.   Spend the next half an hour mindlessly browsing Facebook, while occasionally checking your phone for any missed calls from the driver.

15.   Meet the driver at the door and say you’ll be paying with debit.

16.   Try to hide your embarrassment when your card is declined; offer to  pay with credit instead.

17.   Return inside and spray cooking oil on a preheated waffle iron, then pour enough batter to make one waffle.

18.   Become distracted long enough to burn the waffle.

19.   Continue muttering “shit” while you attempt to scrape off the burnt parts of the waffle.

20.   Utter a final “shit” then hang your head in regret.

21.   Toss half of the bucket of chicken on a single plate, ensuring there’s enough room left for your mountain of ranch sauce.

22.   Let the ranch flow onto your plate like the regret you currently feel.

23.   Consider where you are and the life choices you’ve made that led you to this point.

24.   Enjoy!

Pair of tutorial classmates calling it quits after 12 weeks of being acquaintances

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Photo by Phoebe Lim

File this article under the “uh-oh” column of bad news: The Peak has received confirmation from multiple sources that second-year Brady Chips and third-year Thomas Finkle, one of SFU’s hottest pair of acquaintances, will be calling it quits on their somewhat friendship at the end of this semester.

“Brady thinks Thomas is a chill enough guy, but he’s just not looking for any more friends right now,” a source close to Chips confirmed the power pair’s split. “He’s focussed on other things in his life, like school, work, his girlfriend, the recreational volleyball team he plays with on the weekend, his pet ant farm, and finally getting into Better Call Saul.”

No official word yet on who initiated the gradual drifting between acquaintances, but one rumour claims Thomas left last week’s tutorial without saying “See you next week” to Brady. Could this have been the tipping point for the two once-kind-of-almost friends? We can only speculate wildly!

Finkle and Chips first met back in May when they both arrived late to the same tutorial and sat in the only two seats available — seats that happened to be adjacent to each other. Finkle then asked to borrow a sheet, Chips made the joke “as long as I get it back afterwards,” and the rest was tutorial history.

“Honestly, Thomas has always been a bit of a commitment-phobe, so I’m not surprised at all to hear him and Brady won’t be staying in touch after the final,” another source, this one friends with Finkle, told The Peak. “It’s tough because Thomas could be walking away from a good thing if he doesn’t just reach out and suggest they grab a beer or something.”

As crushed as we all are to hear the news, the reality is that almost half of tutorial friendships these days end in one person divorcing the other from their Facebook friends list. Sure, Finkle and Chips were totes adorbs, but not all of our favourite SFU acquantainceships can last. (As long as first-years Brittney Broad and Alison Iseke remain somewhat friendly with each other, though, we’ll consider ourselves lucky!)

Finkle and Chips have one TA together, Sarah Locke, who they will be sharing custody of until after their final on August 5. However, it’s reported that Finkle is looking to acquire full friendship-custody of Locke after the exam, meaning Chips would be unable to say hi or be friendly to Locke during brief exchanges in the hallway. Breaking up can be an ugly game, folks.

When The Peak contacted Finkle to comment on his reported split, Finkle acted confused and asked “Who’s Brady?” Finkle then claimed he didn’t know anyone by that name and asked The Peak how we got into his apartment in the first place — classic defensive and topic-changing response from scorned former-acquaintance, if you ask us.

Sadly, if these crazy kids can’t make tutorial-based friendships last, what hope is there for the rest of us?!

Escape

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SFU Students perform free summer musical for kids

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The masked woodcutter (MacKenzie) offends Tavey (Wakeland). - Photo courtesy of Burnaby Summer Theatre

Four SFU students are performing free outdoor children’s theatre in the Lower Mainland this summer.

Funded by a grant from the Government of Canada, the production is presented annually by the Burnaby Arts Council, whose panel selects a new group of SFU performing arts students for a new show every year. The production currently runs at least four days per week until August 13 in venues across the lower mainland.

Chris Blaber, Joel MacKenzie, Maria Romero, and Dominique Wakeland joined forces to write, direct, and perform the 2015 Burnaby Summer Theatre production called Tavey the Barefoot Knight.

All four members are students in SFU’s Faculty of Performing Arts, Wakeland in theatre performance, the others in music. To apply, the group put together a five minute skit of the play, with a synopsis of the entire story, and competed against one other applying group.

Tavey the Barefoot Knight is about a girl named Tavey (played by Wakeland) who travels through a story in a book she is writing. Upon entering the fantasy world of the book, Tavey becomes a knight who finds a town in mourning, saddened by the recent death of the beloved duchess.

“Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!”

Maria Romero as Mews,

Tavey’s cat

Tavey’s shoes fall apart, which she needs to remain a knight in the town. The townspeople are too upset over their loss to work, so Tavey cheers them up on her journey to find some new kicks.

The group’s rehearsals started early June, and the group had five weeks to get the show running. Since their first performance on July 9, the group has had positive feedback. “We’ve had a lot of great reactions from kids. They seem to have a lot of fun when we’re performing,” said MacKenzie, who plays one of the narrators in the story.

According to Wakeland, the most enjoyable part of the process is, “When we get a scene on its feet, do it twenty times, and then start to really play with it. I’m working with people who wouldn’t call themselves actors, so when they feel comfortable enough to start having fun, it is exhilarating to watch and participate in.”

One big physical challenge for the performers, according to MacKenzie, has been keeping their throats healthy. Wakeland and Blaber both contracted tonsillitis shortly after the performances began, and MacKenzie has had struggles projecting, especially while outside. Romero’s voice, though, is faring well: in the role of Tavey’s cat, Mews, she has only one line throughout the duration of the play: a sung “Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!”

Performing was a completely new to Blaber, who both acts as the production’s manager and performs as a narrator. He explained, “I have never acted or sang in any kind of amateur or professional setting and I have never been the booking manager/production manager of any group [. . .] but I think we have all had those same or similar kinds of challenges, and together we have helped each other overcome them.”

MacKenzie says the group has gone through some self-discoveries while staging the play, and “are learning how talk to each other as creative people with different ideas, strengths, and weaknesses, and how to make sure our voices are heard.”

It’s not just for kids, stressed MacKenzie. “If you’re interested in children’s theatre, if you like free things, if you want to talk to fellow students pursuing our passions, or if you just want to see four adults act like goofy kids on stage, you should come see the play.”

Consent is not something you can just write down

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Photo Credit: Saida Saetgareeva

Let me just address the preemptive elephant in the room. I believe that any sexual activity should include equal consent between all participants, and that’s exactly what the Affirmative Consent Project (ACP) seeks to do.

The ACP has created a “consent conscious kit” for those who are looking for more physical evidence of consent in sexual activities. This kit includes a written contract for sex, a pen, some breath mints, a condom, and a bag to hold it all. But while the kit’s instructions encourage two partners to photograph themselves holding the contract as proof of consent before having sex, I’m left wondering: Isn’t this a little ridiculous?

When engaging in sexual activities, consent is something that should obviously be given. The act of sex itself is something both emotional and gratifying, so long as you and your partner don’t act like lifeless wet noodles.

However, with a binding contract in the mix, something about this feels a little too ‘business-y’ to me. The situation becomes more cold and official, and isn’t necessary. It’s a nice gesture, but consenting adults will still have sex, form or no form.

Conversely, a form like this does not prevent non-consensual activities, either. I have yet to hear of a person who has successfully fended off a potential sexual attacker with a signed sheet of paper, hassle-free. If consent worked like that, then I would imagine the Affirmative Consent Project would soon replace the UN and all other bodies of law-enforcement. Alas, it was not to be.

The situation becomes cold and official, and this just isn’t necessary.

But as I ridicule the product, I still am very stricken by the idea. What type of society needs legal documents to prove our sexual consent? Are there situations where two people both agree to have some nice, fun sex, only to turn to their partner the next morning, look them in the eyes, and retract it?

Sex is not something you can take back, like cooties on the playground. It’s a physical activity for some, an emotional one for others, but once it happens, it’s shared between its participants and gone after the heat of passion.

The kit claims its design is “easy, safe, and fun,” among other things. If your idea of having a sexual bonding experience is to sign papers, then this kit seems to be the right thing for you. But in the sweaty moment, so long as clear-minded humans grant consent, smooth jazz is a nicer touch than a pen and paper.

To those who created this product, I salute your efforts. But due to the mechanical nature of the contract, I think the simplification of human emotions in this situation is not something anyone can just write down.

Though if you can convince your partner to actually sign the darn thing while you’re foreplaying on the couch, kudos to you. Here, have a breath mint.

SFU clubs collaborate to celebrate Eid

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Photos courtesy of SFU PSA

SFU’s Pakistan Students Association (PSA) and Ismaili Students Association (ISA) came together to throw an Eid party in Freedom Square.

The event was held on Saturday, July 18, from around 9:00 p.m. until the early morning hours, past 1:00 a.m. Tickets for the event were $15 per person and included lots of ethnic foods and live performances.

The party was held in celebration Eid al-Fitr, a three-day long Islamic festival which marks the end of the month of Ramadan, the ninth month of the Islamic lunar calendar. Ramadan is the holiest month for Muslims, and is commonly known as the month where adherents of the faith fast during the days, from dawn to dusk.

Zainab Bukhari, the President of the PSA, explained that this was the first time Eid was celebrated on campus. “For the first time, there was an Eid event [. . .] and on the exact day of Eid.” Usually the club hosts dinners during Ramadan, known as “iftar,” but in the past it has done nothing special for Eid.

11793202_867933536589698_2065705124_nThe PSA and ISA found a common ground in their shared faith and common ethnicity, and decided, rather than throwing two separate Eid events, to collaborate and create something on a larger scale in order to engage more of the SFU community. 

Bukhari explained the collaboration was initiated by the president of the ISA, looking for a way to garner a large audience to partake in the festivities.

“Since [the] majority of our members are international students, this is one of the key events where they miss their home the most, because they are alone, they don’t have their family here.     [. . .] So we thought to bring everyone together so they don’t feel homesick on [Eid].”

She also noted that the PSA wanted this event to convey a message to SFU’s international students, especially new ones, that there is a club that is available to provide support.

In addition to celebrating Eid, the organizers wanted to showcase South Asian culture to the SFU community through food and dance. Nikhil Maria, VP Finance of the PSA, explained, “It was basically just like a South Asian marriage.”

The decor, food, music, and performances took on a distinctly traditional theme, and the event’s colours were red and white. Many of the attendees donned traditional South Asian garments, in an array of colours and styles.11759575_867933326589719_980519129_n

The evening consisted of a number of performances by groups such as the SFU Bollywood Dance Team, an Afghan dance group, and independent Afghan and Russian singers. Although the event primarily showcased and celebrated South Asian culture, the organizers worked hard to ensure it was inclusive of individuals from all religious and cultural backgrounds.

Attendees enjoyed a number of traditional and non-traditional dishes, including biryani, kebabs, naan, dhal (curried lentils), kheer (South Asian rice pudding), salads, cheesecakes that were catered by SFU Dining Services, and more.

Maria identified catering as one of the biggest challenges they faced in organizing the event. “This food was really tough to get onto the campus,” he said. “I think they should be more lenient because [food from Dining Services is] 10 times more expensive than what we [can] get from outside.”

After the performances and food, there was a large dance party, which ended with a raffle for door prizes. Prizes included gift baskets and gift cards from Nester’s Market and Bonchaz Bakery.   

Overall, Bukhari was pleased with the range of attendees at the event. “I had some friends who skipped their family events for this,” she noted. “Because they’re locals, they have their families here, and their commitments and all, but still, they came. To be honest, I didn’t really expect them [. . .] but still, they showed up, and it was really nice.”ns4TdnzSVncqapJ277ODksj9IMLAfTQNGbA-OweHMmE

SFU celebrates at the Surrey Fusion Festival

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SFU’s Pipe Band, piping away at the Surrey Fusion Festival! - Photo courtesy of SFU University Communications

The eighth Surrey Fusion Festival was sponsored by SFU as a part of its 50th anniversary celebrations.

Over 95,000 attendees and 120 performers came out to Holland Park on the weekend of July 18 and 19 to celebrate Surrey’s diversity and enjoy the beautiful weather.

The free event featured five main stages along with numerous stalls, each representing a different culture with food, arts and crafts, and volunteers who were happy to talk with attendees.

Along with the eclectic variety of food and live performances all day, there were other exciting happenings, like a celebrity cooking stage sponsored by Safeway, and a “Kids World” to entertain the younger crowd with storytime and crafts.

After being named the cultural capital of Canada in 2008, the City of Surrey held the three-day inaugural fusion festival. “It was so well received that, with the assistance of [the] council, we decided to have it every year as a two-day event,” said Melissa Snow, the City of Surrey’s Special Events Marketing Coordinator. “In the beginning we only had 22 cultures participating, and this year we had 40.”

When asked about SFU’s presence in the Surrey community, Snow said that it was undeniable as SFU was heavily invested within the city: “SFU is very much a partner with the City of Surrey, especially as we are neighbors.”

At the festival this year the city bestowed upon SFU a public proclamation recognizing their 50th anniversary.

Not only has the city touted the event as a community bonding opportunity, Snow believes the preparations for the event offer the same — a team effort driven by the diverse community spirit of Surrey.

Snow and the rest of the special events department of the City of Surrey has worked with different levels of city staff and sponsors like SFU and Safeway to make this event happen every year.

“It’s amazing to see people open to experiencing different cultures,” she concluded.

SFU students find success working abroad

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Photo courtesy of SFU

In the past 12 years, SFU has landed over 950 students international placements as part of the co-op program.

What’s the appeal, and what does the process of leaving SFU to find greener pastures involve? The Peak talked to International Co-op Coordinator Amy Lee to find out.

Lee explained that in order to complete an international work term, students must first be accepted into a “home” co-op program such as Arts Co-op or Business Co-op.

Next, a student can find a position through one of three ways: they can use Symplicity, the database used by all co-op programs, pursue a self-directed search, or look at one of SFU’s international partnerships such as TALK (Teach and Learn in Korea).

“Students [. . .] are coming home with — and I kid you not — $30,000 net after a work term.”

Amy Lee,

International Co-op Coordinator,
SFU Beedie School of Business

Since not all jobs cover relocation costs, students can look to SFU financial aid, external donors, and remuneration from the employer for funding support.

According to Lee, there is also a “big discrepancy” between students in terms of the money they’ll make in an international placement. Lee explained that there are “engineering students and computer science students who are coming home with — and I kid you not — $30,000 net after a work term.”

She further elaborated, “And then we have students on the other end of the scale and after four months they are in a minus situation and that’s where the [financial] awards kick in.”

Lee remarked that the international co-op program “is a good chance to test the waters” for students looking to work abroad after graduation. She noted examples of an aspiring medical student who learned she didn’t like being around sick people, and a science student who discovered a passion for teaching.

Lee said that because they are being pushed out of their comfort zone by the program, “students that weren’t sure of themselves are definitely coming back more confident.”

Erik Bainbridge is one such student who found success with international co-ops. He has completed four terms in three different positions, beginning with his first position in 2013 as an English teacher in the Shandong province in Northeastern China.

“I’m a political science major, so teaching English is not very relevant to that, necessarily,” said Bainbridge. Still, he jumped at the opportunity partly because of a desire to travel.

For his next experience, he worked in Hong Kong doing event management. Bainbridge noted that his new work environment in Hong Kong was “much faster-paced, very professional, [involved] working with tons of giant multinational firms, meeting people, and networking.”

This networking led Erik to his final co-op position working as a trade intern for the Canadian government in a consulate in Chongqing, a position he had wanted for a “number of years.”

However, Bainbridge’s road to success in co-op wasn’t easy. When he applied, he had too many credits and was unsure if he would get in. While only two semesters away from graduating, he opted to take an additional four semesters to complete the co-op program.

Now, Bainbridge is returning to the classroom and sees that most of his friends are already off to pursue graduate education, including law school. Despite feeling left behind, he has no regrets.

“Suddenly I find myself at school with people I didn’t know before, but I don’t regret it. I think in the long run it’s something that’s going to pay off,” explained Bainbridge.

He added that “being able to do your co-op while experiencing a completely different culture and learning how to communicate and operate within that culture was really beneficial for me.”

On facing the job market after he graduates in two semesters, Bainbridge remarked, “I feel a lot more prepared and confident.”

Board Gags

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Photo Credit: Benjamin Buckley

My plea of support to the transgender community

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Photo Credit: Saida Saetgareeva

Caitlyn Jenner, in all her glory, recently accepted the ESPY Arthur Ashe Courage Award and delivered a powerful, important speech: it’s time to accept people for who they are.

It is wrong for a citizen of a country to be denied the rights of another on the terms that one of them is cisgender and the other is a transgender. It was wrong when women and people of color were denied full citizenship rights, and the exact same applies for transgender citizenship.

I can be compassionate and defensive towards transgender people because I am the same as them — a human being. Born and raised a Catholic, I was taught many things about love, but I don’t recall any of them calling it acceptable to discriminate, condemn, and judge others only because they are different.

Put simply, one’s gender is merely another factor in a person’s identity; it does not comprise all that they are and all that they can become, and is certainly not a viable justification to slander another person or treat them any less of the human being they are.

It was devastating to know that his heart had to endure so much struggle to accept the wonderful person he is.

All teenagers experience a kind of identity crisis: Who am I? What is my purpose? Where do I fit in? It must be awful for a queer teenager to realize a major part of their identity but feel unable to openly claim it. They hear the societal insults, see the bullied queer youths in news headlines, and feel the hostility in the air.

Fully recognizing the situation and the risks involved, many queer youth assume it’s easier to suppress it and try to live like a “normal” person. But what is normal? Depriving yourself of your true identity is not only difficult, but becomes increasingly unbearable with time.

I once worked with a person who was transgender, and we instantly became friends when we met. We had both gone through milestone struggles in our lives and stayed true to our love of pizza over the course of various diet trends. He was a young adult with a kind heart and it was devastating to know that he had to endure so much struggle to accept the wonderful person he really is.

Everyone deserves to feel the freedom to be themselves. Just as Caitlyn said in her speech, “They deserve your respect. And from that respect comes a more compassionate community, a more empathetic society, and a better world for all of us.” Let’s not only take steps, but take grand leaps to welcome people who are transgender into our society with open arms.