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Staying Sharp: Tips for being the hit of the party!

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By Colin Sharp
Photos by Mark Burnham

This could get weird, and I don’t mean to offend you, but you are kind of . . . boring. Like, really boring. Enough so that I’m worried that it’s some kind of syndrome or condition. I mean, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if there were an annual telethon held to try and fix people like you. Luckily, I know enough about medicine and doctoring and witchcraft to realize that it’s not a condition. Simply put, you are just a boring piece of shit that leans against the wall at parties nursing a solitary can of Canadian for hours on end. Tough luck, kid.

Before we get started, you’re gonna need to rock this beer bong.

This is something we can fix though. No, I’m not going to start a telethon for you. Instead I’m going to be your party sensei. With my steady hand to guide you, you will soon be the hit of the party. But before we start, you’re gonna need to rock this beer bong. Don’t be a pussy.

1. Know your setting.

Every party requires a different strategy, so be attuned with your environment. Where are you? What’s going on? Who’s that? Is that contagious? These are the type of questions you’ll be asking yourself. If it’s a frat party, you’ll need to figure out how to avoid talking to frat guys. If it’s pool party you’ll have to remember not to pee in the pool. You’re just swimming in your own piss. That’s gross. The obvious solution is to pee into the pool; that way only the idiots that got in the pool have to deal with your fluids.

2. Shots!

Alright man, you’re doing tequila right now. Anybody have limes? Ah fuck it, just do it straight. Oh shit, wear this sombrero when you do the tequila! It’ll be hilarious. Mexico! Now drink it. Don’t be a pussy.

3. Play the hottest jams.

You always have the best songs. Blow these fucking proles’ minds with your dope music. Sure they’ve never listened to hip-hop from the sub-genre of “horrorcore,” but you know they’re going to looooove it. Shit man, they’re all looking at you weird. Oh well, just whip it out. No seriously, this always turns you into the focus of the room. You’ll probably have a bunch of guys that think they’ve got something more impressive, but for some reason girls love it when you do this. So seriously, whip out that acoustic guitar and it will take this party to another level. If people close their eyes, they’ll swear John Mayer himself is there playing “Your Body Is A Wonderland”.

4. More shots!

Dude, I don’t even remember the last time you did a shot. Come with me. Let’s do tequila! Oh, you don’t want more tequila? We’ll just do whiskey then. Mixing liquors will definitely make you the hit of the party. Now drink this. Don’t be a pussy. Oh man, you look like you’re gonna throw up. Just duck in that room to do it, no one will notice. Oh . . . oh no. Well, advice for next time: Throw up in a toilet or something instead of a washing machine. This is a learning process, you’ve got nowhere to go but up.

5. Run!

Oh fuck, the cops are here. You better bail.

Well, that could have gone better. In all honesty, I don’t think you were really the hit of that party. You mostly just embarrassed yourself. I’m pretty sure you’ll be good to go next time though. I bet you just need to drink more.

Ski Ninjas: Band Tips

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By Kyle Lees at Ski Ninjas

Cole Porter’s High Society

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By Kaylin Metchie
Photo by David Cooper

High Society is an exhilarating performance from start to finish. The acting is crisp, the singing flawless, the live band terrific, the choreography entrancing, and the play itself is romantic, lively and humourous. Cole Porter deserves his place amongst other composers whose works have found their way into the Great American Songbook. High Society consists of some of the finest scores one can hear in any musical.

This musical is a romantic comedy following wealthy socialite Tracy Lord (Jennifer Lines) as she plans yet another wedding to social climber George Kittredge (Steve Maddock). But, like in most romantic comedies, things do not go smoothly. Just days before her big event, Tracy’s ex-husband, smooth talker Dexter Haven (Todd Talbot), arrives back in town.

The plot is uncomplicated, but this is not theatre meant to challenge you on an intellectual level. It’s simply a great time that you can take your partner to and come out of feeling giddy and romantic.

What sets this musical apart from others is the music. There’s a reason why Cole Porter’s tunes have lasted into the 21st century, and why so many artists continue to sample his work — and it helps that the cast and band do it justice. These are some of Vancouver’s finest performers and all the singers stand their ground in these well-known pieces.

Some of the greatest musical moments of the night come from Lauren Bowler, who plays the quick-witted photographer Liz Imbrie. She effortlessly sings throughout her range, and the warmth in her voice fills the room. Maddock, regarded as one of Canada’s best jazz vocalists, is another standout. It’s unfortunate that he only gets one solo song — you could listen to his silky smooth voice all night long.

The acting is a delight. Lines is superb in all that she does, and along with the rest of the cast, she brings you on a light and exciting journey.

High Society is a great play for the summer. It’s fun and loose and downright enjoyable. It’s like watching reality TV, except better, and with singing. You will leave wanting to “misbehave” with a bottle of champagne.

Nothing smart about phones in class

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By Jean Oliver — Nexus-Camosu College (CUP)

Lately, I’ve been thinking that the only way I will be able to finish my degree is online. Ironically, endless smartphone- and Internet-related classroom distractions wouldn’t be a problem there.

It boggles my mind that students can be so cavalier about their access to their teachers. Many people would gladly take a seat in the classroom if they had the chances that many students seem to take for granted. Ignoring teachers and staying focused on phones is not a smart use of anyone’s time.

But why do so many instructors do nothing to stop this distracting behaviour? Many teachers I’ve watched are intimidated and unable to enforce their expectations of students paying attention. It’s uncomfortable when a teacher resorts to the old-fashioned guilt trip by publicly shaming an individual over internet or phone use.

Students say they need to stay connected to what’s going on. They say smartphone use is a habit. They say there’s an element of risk involved in texting during class. Some justify it as a respite from boring classes.

Well, I say you’re in the wrong class. Boredom is the result of a resistance to learning.
The desire to stay connected can be overwhelming, but we shouldn’t confuse needs with wants. If students truly need to check on a friend or be available for an email about a job, they have no business being in class.

The problem is getting worse. One of my recent classes was so noisy, the instructor was barely able to convey complex ideas over the din of crosstalk. Add to that the strobe lights of flickering Facebook images and the dance of nodding heads over cell phones and, well, focusing in class becomes about as easy as hearing someone give a lecture in a night club.

Now, that would be boring.

Museums should evolve to meet the times

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By Crystal Cline — Memorial University of Newfoundland (CUP)
Image by: Sarah Ackerman

The war on social problems has reached new heights in America, and museums are the latest weapon. The Children’s Museum of Manhattan, for example, does its part to prevent childhood obesity with displays that send an unsubtle message: get healthy, kids.

The museum has erected a play centre where visitors learn the power of pedalling, bouncing, and jumping. There’s a place to meet super-powered vegetable heroes and an exhibition where kids crawl through a digestive system.

This museum isn’t unique in its initiative. The New York Times reports that The Young at Art Museum in Davie, Florida, has an after-school arts program for homeless students, while the Providence Children’s Museum on Rhode Island helps foster care children find permanent families. The Children’s Museum of the Arts in Manhattan provides a place for foster-care children to reunite with their birth parents. What do they do when they are reunited? They make art, of course.

Museums are becoming much more than receptacles for relics. They bridge gaps in places where there is often red tape. Social workers want to help build relationships between parent and child; the Children’s Museum of the Arts in Manhattan is creating a new avenue where that can happen.

Museums are also evolving to meet the needs of today’s generation. Children are much heavier now than they were 20 years ago. Video games, television and fast food have contributed to high obesity rates in North America. Why not show children the benefits of eating healthy and exercising in an environment that’s even more fun than McDonalds?

In my opinion, there’s no better way to learn than by doing something hands-on. If a child can explore an exhibition play centre at a museum, they are more likely to retain that information because they will relate it to a fun memory. Canada needs to jump on this bandwagon. We need more programs like this to benefit children and adults alike, especially as we struggle to understand challenges such as social inequalities, the effects of poor health choices and bullying.

Bullying is front-and-centre in the media lately, following the conviction of 20-year-old Dharun Ravi on March 16. Ravi spied on his roommate using a webcam and streamed footage of the man’s romantic encounters on the Internet. Shortly after the victim discovered what Ravi had been doing, he committed suicide. Ravi was accused of bias intimidation as a hate crime. The trial resulted in a sentence of 30 days in prison.

The availability of educational programs during Ravi’s youth might have altered his decision to bully later on in his life. Ravi may have been an American, but there are dozens of similar cases in Canada where bullying has ended in tragedy. Canada needs to turn museums into integral centres for education in order to ensure that our kids grow into the best people they can be. Education on bullying should be part of that process.

Who knows? In a few years’ time, we may see an exhibition on psychological effects of bullying. We may yet fully embrace the positive effects that cultural environments like museums can have on our kids.

Petter Watch: May 28th

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By Colin Sharp

Petter caught in front of full-length mirror singing Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” into a hairbrush.

TSSU has been forced into implementing new approach in contract negotiations

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By Joel Blok
Image by: TSSU

The members of the Teaching Support Staff Union (TSSU), which is composed of all TAs, TMs, continuing language instructors, and Sessionals here at SFU, are in discussion about the possibility of taking job action in the coming months. A motion was introduced at the May 24 General Membership Meeting proposing a strike vote for mid-June. This strike vote could have widespread implications for SFU, as TSSU members are essential to the university’s ability to function on many levels.

The TSSU’s members are many of the people who interact directly with students, who deliver some of SFU’s largest courses, and who evaluate and provide student feedback. SFU prides itself on being an engaged university, and it is often the TAs, TMs, and instructors who truly engage with students.

The TSSU’s most recent collective agreement with the university expired in early 2010, and negotiations for a new agreement have been ongoing since then. Conversation has focused on improvements to working conditions, updating the agreement’s language, and ensuring pay equity for TSSU members. Many of the proposals put forth by the TSSU offer cost-free improvements to the university that are simultaneously beneficial to our members, SFU’s undergraduate students, and university administrators.

Additionally, the TSSU has proposed compensation increases that would allow its members to achieve parity with rising costs, including tuition. Without the modest increases we have proposed, TSSU members will continue to lose ground. Many of our members have dependents and student loan debt; they are stretched to the limit and simply cannot afford to take what amounts to a pay-cut through rising costs.

The university administration has made clear their intention to negotiate a collective agreement with nearly no changes aside from several TSSU concessions. Even a TSSU proposal that is designed to simply bring our workplace health and safety language into agreement with WorkSafe BC regulations has proven too contentious for the university. This is not an isolated example, as the TSSU has not been able to obtain the employer’s agreement for basic changes to the collective agreement that acknowledge that SFU now has more than two campuses, is using new administrative procedures, or that there have been changes to provincial laws since the last agreement. In some cases, more money has been spent on the university negotiators’ salaries by disputing a proposal than the proposals would have cost to implement.

After two years of bargaining, the TSSU’s contract committee is convinced that only a new approach can yield any results. This is the motivation behind calling a strike vote: to provide the administration with a mandate to truly engage in bargaining. And, as a fully democratic organization, it is TSSU’s members who decide whether to hold a strike vote and, when held, they will decide between job action, and an effective pay cut and growing list of unaddressed problems.

TSSU will offer many opportunities over the coming weeks for its members and the SFU community to engage in an informed dialogue about this strike vote and the broader issues that concern us all. TSSU prides itself as being one of SFU’s most democratic organizations, and we therefore welcome all debate and discussion as we move forward. You can take part in this discussion through Facebook and Twitter, drop by the TSSU office, or come to the upcoming town hall meetings.

The Only Place by Best Coast

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By Colin O’ Neil
Photo by TheArches/Flickr

After two albums, Best Coast still has the tag of fun- and sun-loving garage dance music, and The Only Place is no exception. Songwriter Bethany Cosentino and multi-instrumentalist Bobb Bruno provide a strong sense of place in their sophomore album, and still deliver their familiar California surf-rock melodies and simple, catchy lyrics.

The band’s debut album, Crazy For You, brought recognition from tastemakers Pitchfork and Exclaim!, and its single, “Boyfriend” spread them across the world of indie music. Their newest effort takes up where Crazy For You left off, a perfect summer album for dancing, sitting on the porch, or just feeling glad to reside on the best coast.

The Only Place kicks off with the title track, which epitomizes the Best Coast philosophy. With its quick chord changes and memorable lyrics, it feels like we’ve already heard the song before upon first listen. Its lyrics, like most of Best Coast’s music, take pride in their home and scoff at those who don’t live in sunny California or on the west coast. It’s a song with undeniable radio potential and one that Best Coast probably tired of playing before the album even came out. It’s just that good.

The following tracks don’t reach the same level, but do shine at times. Cosentino’s lyrics are sometimes whiny, but they’re clear, to the point, and are supported by excellent garage rock guitar riffs and simple percussion. “Why I Cry” is a danceable attack at the boys in Cosentino’s life, while “How They Want Me To Be” is like a diary entry, claiming small-time rock stardom as an elite form of living, whether others see it or not.

With only one song over four minutes, The Only Place is a fast listen. It will likely be over while you’re still thinking about the first song and whether or not you should drop your life and move to California. It makes you nod your head and tap your feet; at times it makes you get up and shake it. In both its lyrics and instrumentation, it asks, “Why would you live anywhere else?”

Youth in the Lime Light

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By Kaylin Metchie
By Luc Dumas

I’ve walked into the loudest rehearsal I have ever been a part of. The conversations and laughter of over 20 energetic children fill the space. It takes over 10 minutes to get the performers to quiet down and into their positions for the rehearsal to begin.

This is what every day is like for the people at Project Limelight, a charitable organization that provide youths ages 8–15 a space for performance and artistic expression. Today, the cast and crew at Limelight are working on their pilot production, Wonderland, a pantomime adaptation of Alice in Wonderland that will include audience interaction, music, comedy, and dance.

Like many arts organizations, Project Limelight is dependent on support from the community, and so far it has been met with overwhelming generosity. The Vancouver Opera and Playhouse have donated props and costumes, and SFU is lending the Fei and Milton Wong Experimental Theatre for their upcoming production. Cory Monteith of Glee fame has also come onboard to speak on why this free theatre program is so important to youths.

“Everybody is on board,” said director Paul Belanger. “I think it is the idea that you are giving kids a voice. They learn about themselves and you can’t give that to somebody in any other way than theatre.”

Belanger is the visionary force behind Wonderland, and has been working with Project Limelight for the past two months. From decades of experience working with them, he knows that when it comes to kids, you need respect. The crew, who are all volunteers, have to remember that everyone is on the same plane. “The little guy that doesn’t focus and talks in the corner has the same right as the glorious A+ student that listens and does everything perfectly.”
And the respect is mutual. “The kids come to us and ask us questions about life. That is priceless”.

Within a four-hour rehearsal, there are bound to be times when kids are less focused, but that’s part of the learning process. “We try to instill a respect for theatre into them. It doesn’t happen the first time, but I think any program that we are doing we have to work way harder in the beginning to get the nucleus together to all be on the same page,” said Belanger.

But there are times when everything falls into place, and that gives Belanger some peace of mind. “I know that in front of an audience, when you get 200 or 300 people in front of them, they are going to come to life. And it is that one time in rehearsal that I see it work, and I go ‘Oh, thank goodness for that!’”
During the process, the kids, who come from different schools around Strathcona and from different family backgrounds, have grown into a strong ensemble. Those that were dismissive at the beginning, or didn’t want to play with others, have become comfortable and confident in showing their true selves.

“A lot of kids with confidence in themselves and respect come out of arts programs,” Belanger claimed. “I have taught for many years and the one thing that always comes back is that they get a sense of self; they learn to love themselves.”

For Belanger, the youth in the program have reaffirmed that it’s not about being perfect, but the journey. “What we’re here for is to give the kids a time where they are allowed to be themselves and to have fun. If they don’t have fun doing this, then what’s the point?”

SFU’s UAV team places second in national competition

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By Graham Cook

Team Guardian’s unmanned air vehicle places second with a $1,000 budget

Unmanned Systems Canada held their 2012 Unmanned Air Vehicle (UAV) Competition from May 4–6 at the Southport Aerospace Centre in Manitoba. The event challenged university teams to use their auto-piloted radio controlled planes to complete a series of tasks. This year, SFU’s squad of engineering students, Team Guardian, came just shy of victory with a second place finish.

Team VAMUdes from Université de Sherbrooke in Quebec took first place, finishing ahead of SFU’s squad and Team Blackbird from Carleton University. Also competing was Team UAARG of the University of Alberta and Team Uvic Aero of the University of Victoria. Team Four Winds from UBC-Okanagan was scheduled to participate but was forced to drop out for unknown reasons.

Team Guardian consists of 11 members including Bryan Pattison, Ginelle Nazareth, Irene Tong, James Allnutt, Kevin Young, Luke Routley, Ben Tuline, Jessica Peare, Miguel Cruz, Project Manager Tim Gjernes, and Operations Manager Matthew Keeler. They range from first- to fourth-year students with the more experienced students taking more senior roles.

Team member James Allnutt spoke with The Peak about the makeup of the competition. Each team used their UAV to complete tasks that simulated a forest fire scenario, a civil application that he contrasted against the military aspect of similar events in the United States. Basic colour coded shapes, such as squares, circles, and triangles, were arranged as far as three kilometres away. These targets were each labelled with QR codes that had to be automatically identified by the aircraft and reported back to ground station. Allnut explained that the biggest setback for their creation was not spotting the codes, but the poor quality of their camera.

James Allnutt, who described himself as a “two-and-a-half-year student,” told The Peak that Team Guardian began in Fall of 2010 as a fourth-year capstone project. A capstone project is a large, yearlong endeavour that completes a mechatronics degree. He described how it evolved from there, with lower-level students being recruited every year,while fourth-year students continue to use it as their capstone project. The plane, he said, is a simple off-the-shelf remote control plane that they worked together to extensively modify. He described the plane as a constant work in progress with custom parts being continually added.

Allnut also explained that the team was almost unable to attend the competition as their auto-piloted plane struck a tree during a test flight just one week before competition.

Another continuing factor deterring the students is a lack of funding. While some schools were able to spend upwards of $25,000, Team Guardian spent just under $1,000 on their plane and were forced to pay for transportation, totalling over $500, out of their own pockets. Allnut stated that this did not place them at too large of a disadvantage at the actual competition; Team UAARG’s heavily funded UAV nearly took out Sherbrooke’s ground station upon take off. The near miss apparently required a kick from one of Sherbrooke’s team members in order to protect their aircraft.

The team currently has several sponsors which include the Faculty of Applied Science, the Engineering Student Society, and Associate Professor Dr John Jones, among others. Despite the quantity of supporters, Allnut stated that the team is in nearly constant need of funds.

Allnut concluded by touching on the makeup of the competition, stating that while Sherbrooke continued to dominate the field, no team was able to fully complete the task put before them. The Quebec university has won every year that the competition has been held. But Allnut described his team as the favourites to finally defeat them.

To watch Team Guardian in action, check out www.the-peak.ca/multimedia