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USB devices to replace handbooks

In light of the decision earlier this year to discontinue providing yearly student handbooks, the SFSS board decided to order 10,000 USB flash drives to hand out to students at the beginning of the fall semester.

“Essentially, it would serve the same purpose as the old SFSS handbook. Not only would it be a gift for students to use during their year at SFU, but it could provide information about our services,” said External Relations Officer Meaghan Wilson.

Although no prices were given, the estimate was around three dollars per device. The handbooks had cost the society approximately four dollars per book.

Some of the possible content that could be loaded onto the drives is a link to the SFSS website, which is currently being revamped, and a Clan schedule. These would be permanently embedded into the drive.

Arts and Social Sciences faculty representative Alia Ali voiced concerns that adding content to the drives would take up too much space, which wouldn’t allow students to effectively use it for storage. Wilson responded that the drives she was currently looking at were one gigabyte, which would be ample space for word documents and smaller files.

Wilson was tasked to follow up with a quote at a future meeting.

 

Atrium food vendor talks continue

The Greek Opa! restaurant was approved to occupy the northeast portion of the Atrium in MBC. The Atrium is currently undergoing renovations to accommodate more food vendors.

Treasurer Kevin Zhang is meeting with Chartwells this week to discuss that option as well. “The food court will be delayed. It’s unlikely it will open in September,” said Zhang, though he added that it would be clearer after this week.

URO Jeff McCann voiced his support for the Chartwells option. “The university really hammered it to them from my perspective in terms of what they were able to do,” said McCann, referring to the recent contract renewal.

– David Dyck

Mobile, Mo’ problems: What your phone says about you

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By Ljudmila Petrovic
They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Not in this day and age: seriously, when was the last time you made eye contact with someone? People think it’s creepy. This being said, there are other ways to get to know everything you need to know about your fellow human beings. Okay, yes, looking at their Facebook or following them on Twitter will probably tell you more than you need to know. But I was talking about their choice of phone. Wannabe professional? Insecure and shallow? Find out here.

LG Handset

A recent study has shown that the predominant demographic of LG users are females between the ages of 14 and 24. That’s actually a study. I didn’t make that statistic up to be funny because it’s called an LG. They also have a phone model called the Gossip. That says it all: this is the girl whose phone conversation on the bus reveals to the public all of her insecurities, not to mention exactly what her ex texted her (with a close reading of every single punctuation mark he used). If you stay on the bus for an extra few stops, you probably also know what all the possible outfit combinations are for Friday night clubbing, plus the pros and cons of each pair of heels. Call her maybe. No, don’t.

Blackberry

Oh, you must be really professional, like a CEO or something. You’re just clicking and clacking away on your keyboard to all the other CEO’s. That’s probably why you get waffle thigh when you sit with your phone in your pocket for a long time (like in those boring CEO meetings). Get it? Because the keyboard leaves an imprint . . . in the shape of a waffle. Yeah, didn’t expect you to get it.

Every once in a while, I come across an iPhone user and a Blackberry user arguing over which one’s better. The crowning moment of that debate is the Blackberry user’s inevitable final cry: “Whatever. I have BBM!”

That guy with the iPhone’s looking really smug right now.

iPhone

You have an iPhone? Well, I’m impressed. You’re probably rich, and really smart because you’re always looking things up on your phone. And I mean always. Is it necessary to look up a topic of conversation as we’re discussing it? Oh, Ok, now you have facts that I don’t have. That’s pretty much cheating at conversation.

It’s also true that you have a bigger variety of cases and accessories for your phone. Blackberry users, for example, cannot encase their phones in Hello Kitty. You win that one, too. And, yes, you have an app for every imaginable purpose, whether it’s relevant or not. You think you’re pretty swell, huh?

You also thought the iPhone 4s was so much better than the iPhone 4. Joke’s on you.

Android

The Android is certainly a superior piece of technology: the newest operating system with a sci-fi name. Nerd. Okay, so, the way I understand it, you’re like an iPhone user, but much more evolved, right? I also hear it’s harder to get apps with an Android than with an iPhone. The same probably goes for getting laid.

I’m not a complete hater, though. The fact that the Android 4.0 is called the Ice Cream Sandwich is pretty sweet (oh yeah, pun most definitely intended). I mean, who doesn’t like ice cream sandwiches? Ice cream sandwiches almost make up for the whole not-getting-laid thing. Almost.

Nokia 3210

I’m not going to say anything bad about your phone lest you hit me in the nose with it—even if you are being ironic. That thing can pack a punch.  I don’t even know where you got one of those.

No phone

These new mobile phones are just a fad, right? You don’t need one to communicate with your friends and family, right? Wrong. News flash: your loved ones have probably given up trying to reach you at this point, and with the ridiculously short concentration spans we have nowadays, it’s not unlikely that they’ve forgotten about you. I suppose you still handwrite your papers by the candlelight and send letters by pigeon? If you still believe this, you’re either 78 years old or delusional. Or being ironic. Stop it. That makes no sense. That isn’t even what irony is.

Flip phone

The mid-2000s called you on your shitty phone. They said to stop living in the past. To be fair, you’ve got an excellent choice of default games on your phone. Sure, that guy beside you on the bus can’t stop chuckling at whatever movie he’s streaming on his iPhone, but you’re really kicking ass at Snake. It’s not like you have anything else to do on your phone, so might as well become a pro at moving that pixelated snake around the screen. There are only three possible reasons that you still have a flip phone in 2012: 1) you really, really don’t care about technology, or what people think (unlike iPhone and Android users), 2) You’re really, really poor (also unlike iPhone and Android users), or 3) You’re being ironic. Stop it.

Three dead in University of Alberta armoured car robbery

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By Katelyn Hoffart

Suspect apprehended when he attempted to cross the border into the U.S. from a crossing near Abbotsford, British Columbia

EDMONTON (CUP) — An armed robbery attempt occurred earlier this month at the University of Alberta, leaving three G4S Cash Solutions Canada employees dead and one in critical condition at the hospital.

The crew arrived at HUB Mall, a building that includes shops and student residences, just after midnight to make a delivery to ATM machines.

Edmonton Police Service (EPS) confirmed that at approximately 12:10 a.m., multiple gunshots were fired, killing two of the males and one female member of the crew.

University of Alberta Protective Services responded to the first alarm within minutes, and Residence Services staff ushered students to the opposite end of the mall. Only after EPS arrived and checked rooms throughout HUB to make sure there was no remaining threat was the HUB Mall alert system sounded.

The armoured van used in the delivery was found abandoned with the engine still running approximately 10 kilometres from where the incident occurred.

“Our understanding is that the university campus is safe, and that this wasn’t random,” said Students’ Union VP-academic Dustin Chelen.

“Certainly [there was] some alarm, confusion and panic, but I think that this is just a time where we have to sit back and let Edmonton Police Services continue with their investigation.”

At a press conference last week, vice-president and provost Carl Amrhein offered his condolences to the families of the deceased. Amrhein emphasized that the safety and support for faculty and students is the current priority for the university at this time.

One concern of the university community was that the U of A Emergency Notification System was slow to respond, with the first notification not posted on the U of A website until 3:28 a.m., hours after the incident occurred.

Social media such as Twitter played a larger role in notifying students. One tweet came from a U of A Safewalk volunteer, reading, “Tonight, a friend and I discovered 3 shot security guards. Two were dead, one was screaming for us to help him. Worst night ever.”

Trish Patron, a second-year master’s student in communication and technology, noted a lapse in communication between the university and student.

“There was no text to me until 9 a.m., no emails at all, [and] I know I’m on the emergency list. I understand the wish not to panic, but I think reassurance and direction are vital, and were obviously needed by students in HUB at the time,” she said.

EPS has identified 21-year-old Travis Brandon Baumgartner as a person of interest in the investigation. Baumgartner was an employee of G4S Cash Solutions Canada and believed to be one of several armoured company employees that attended the U of A around midnight.

Baumgartner was apprehended when he attempted to cross the border into the U.S. from a crossing near Abbotsford, B.C. He was found with a backpack with $330,000 in cash. He has been charged with first-degree murder, attempted murder, and robbery with a firearm.

Students are able to defer exams scheduled for that day through the usual system, and counselling services are being extended to both students and faculty members.

Surrey’s executive director named VP-external relations

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By Graham Cook

Joanne Curry brings 20 years of experience within SFU.

SFU administration has named Joanne Curry as associate vice president external relations. The position will see Curry teaming up with current vice president external relations Philip Steenkamp, who was chosen for his position this time last year, in June 2011.

Joanne Curry’s past at Simon Fraser is particularly extensive, with approximately 20 years of experience with the university and affiliated organizations. She was once Director of the University Industry Liaison Office. Now known as the Innovation Office, she oversaw its mission of creating new research and development partnerships. Her most recent role has been serving as Executive Director of SFU’s Surrey Campus, which she has done since its foundation in 2002. This means that she has overseen the campus’s growth from 500 students to over 7,000.

Curry has also been nominated two times for a YWCA Women of Distinction award, most recently this past Spring. In addition, she received top honours in the professional category at the Surrey Women in Business awards in 2010. Over the past year, Joanne Curry served as a special advisor to SFU president Andrew Petter on the university’s strategic vision consultation.

While speaking with The Peak about her recent appointment, she stated there “was a hiring committee and a call went out for nominations,” though she “was also very interested in the position and would have put [her] name forward for it.”  Curry also described what she feels she will personally bring to the position. “I bring 20 years experience at SFU and . . . I’ve built strong relationships with, for example, the City of Surrey over the last 10 years and have a good understanding of how to work with city government.”  She added that “there have been lessons learned along the way that I could apply.”

The job of associate vice president external relations will involve working closely with VP-external Philip Steenkamp on external matters that include working with local government, marketing initiatives, and, like many SFU positions, “community engagement.”

Joanne Curry will, in addition to this new job, continue to serve as executive director at Surrey. She stated that she will occupy both roles for the short term as there is a fair amount of crossover, though this will likely end eventually.

Curry concluded by stating that she is “looking forward to working with the student body, particularly in the area of community engagement.”

Arab Summer: How the Arab Spring was meant to change everything—but didn’t

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By Ljudmila Petrovic

“When dictatorship is a fact, revolution becomes a right.”-Victor Hugo
In countries across the Middle East, oppressive governments were a fact for decades. The year 2010, however, saw the beginning of what many people around the world saw as a rightful revolution- it became known as the Arab Spring. Optimists believed it was capable of changing the face of democracy and of the Middle East. More than a year has passed since the world was swept up in images of revolution: have things really changed all that much for the big players?

TUNISIA
Tunisia was the first country to erupt in demonstration in December 2010, after a fruit vendor, Mohamed Bouazizi, set himself on fire in protest. It is also one of the countries that have made the most democratic progress since their uprising. In January 2011, the Tunisian people brought down president Zine El Abidine Ben Ali and, though the country seemed to be on the path of democracy, there were nonetheless growing tensions around the crippled economy, not to mention between liberal secularists and Islamic extremists. The temporary post-revolution government was meant to be one of unity, and was headed by prime minister Mohamed Ghannouchi. There were, however, protests that he associated too closely with former president Ben Ali, and in February 2011, he resigned and was replaced by Beji Caid Essebsi.
In May 2011, the interim government allowed the UN special rapporteur on torture to visit the country, something that the UN had been requesting since 1998. The Fact-Finding Commission was also set up to look into human rights abuses and violations that had occurred during and since the December 2010 uprisings. Despite this, Amnesty International’s January 2012 Report stated that “no significant steps were taken by the new authorities to address the impunity for past human rights violations.”
In June 2011, trials began for former president Zine El Abidine Ben Ali — who had fled the country in January — and members of his family, on charges of embezzlement and misuse of state funds, which led to a 35-year prison sentence for Ben Ali later that month. He got another 15 years for separate charges involving drugs and weapons.
August, however, saw the reinstatement of the nationwide state of emergency, and it was reported that security forces continued to hold down protestors, using methods such as tear gas, with further allegations of continued police abuse and torture.
However, according to the Interior Ministry, by September 2011, the government had allowed 1,366 NGO associations and 111 political parties that had been formerly banned — including the Tunisian Workers’ Communist Party —to legally register. In October, Constituent Assembly elections — originally scheduled for July — were held. Unlike previous years, independent institutions were set up to manage the polls, members of the international community were allowed to observe the election, and foreign journalists were allowed coverage. The Ennahda Movement, a group that had been previously banned, won the largest number of seats. “The movement is committed to democracy,” said party leader Rachid Ghannouchi at the time of the elections. “On the agenda of the movement [is]: building on the gains achieved by women, improving women’s lives . . . so they could effectively take part in advancing society”. In November, new press laws were instated that gave greater freedom to newspapers and journalists.
In December 2011, Moncef Marzouki was elected as interim president. This was seen as a positive change for Tunisia, as his prior career had been as a doctor, politician, and human rights activist, and he had long criticized Ben Ali’s dictatorship.
On March 26th, 2012, Ennahda announced that a draft of Tunisia’s new constitution would maintain Islam as the state’s religion and Arabic as its official language, but that it would not mention Islamic law as a legislative foundation. This made it clear that the current government, while respecting Islamic roots, would function based on secularism.
Needless to say, tensions are still high between conservative Islamist groups — such as Salafis — and liberal secularists in Tunisia: in late May 2012, for example, 15 people were arrested after Salafis set police stations on fire and rampaged bars that sold alcohol.
Meanwhile, new trials for former president Ben Ali continue, with the most recent sentencing taking place in a military court this month: an additional 20 years for his part in the shooting of four youths in January 2011.
The general consensus of most analyses of Tunisia’s current situation is that the country is improving gradually: new numbers show that the country’s tourism is improving as the political situation settles down. However, it is at this point unknown how the religious tensions will play out.

EGYPT
On February 11th, 2011, after months of protests, president Hosni Mubarak finally fell from power, and the military assumed interim power. A referendum was held over constitutional amendments, and on March 30th, the military government adopted a Constitutional Declaration that outlined the transfer of power to a new government. It seemed that Egypt was on the right track: the interim government dismantled the security police agency that had been infamous for violating human rights, and allowed the registration of a number of previously banned political parties—including the Muslim Brotherhood organization, a strongly Islamist opposition. While the new government recognized the rights of unions and federations, they implemented new laws that banned strikes. Moreover, it was announced in September 2011 that the state of emergency would be maintained, with more media restrictions, and an extended list of criminal acts that now included things like blocking roads. Egypt has seemed to be in a bit of limbo for months as the country tries to get back on its feet, deal with the aftermaths of the violence of the uprisings, and look to the future elections and the re-writing of its constitution.
After Mubarak’s thirty-year reign — and more than a year under the interim military government — May 23rd, 2012 finally saw Egyptians hitting the polls to choose their first freely elected president. Several days later, it was confirmed that Ahmed Shafik — the former prime minister under Mubarak and a veteran of the air force — would be running against the Muslim Brotherhood’s Mohamed Morsi in the election. In the meantime, on June 2rd, Mubarak — who has been on trial since last August — was sentenced to life in prison for his failure to act during the killings of protestors in the January 2011 uprising. On June 13th, only days before the scheduled election, the military government re-instated martial law, sparking controversy about their intentions come the election. On June 18th, Morsi of the Muslim Brotherhood was declared the new president. That same day, the military council had issued an interim constitution, which granted it immense power over the future government. “Egypt has completely left the realm of the Arab Spring and entered the realm of military dictatorship”, said human rights activist Hossam Bahgat of the military declaration. The future of Egypt and everything they have fought for is still unknown at the time of print.

LIBYA
Libyan leader Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi became infamous for both his eccentricity and his 40-year grip on the Libyan people. In August 2011, after six months of civil unrest, Qaddafi was pushed from power, and on October 20th, armed rebels killed him in his hometown of Sirte. Three days later, the Transitional National Council took power, preparing the country for a new constitution and a democratic election, with Abdel Rahim el-Keeb elected as prime minister. The Council announced its vision to uphold democracy. However, contrary to what many expected, the gunfire and conflict did not ease up: civilian militias went after those they suspected to be Qaddafi loyalists. A couple of members of the Transitional National Council were kidnapped and held hostage for several days. This constant turmoil has been the backdrop for Libya as the long-awaited national election approaches on the horizon. Weeks before the scheduled June 19th, 2012 election, the interim prime minister’s headquarters in Tripoli were attacked by armed men; the prime minister was said to have not been in the building at the time — a sign of just how extreme the civil unrest remains to this day. Another major incident occurred on June 7th in the city of Zintan, when a civilian militia group detained four individuals working for the International Criminal Court: two lawyers and two court officials, and would not communicate their reasons for detaining them. This same group also held one of Col. Qaddafi’s sons, Seif el-Islam, captive without explanation After recovering Islam and detention of Qaddafi’s son, whom Libyan officials refuse to give to the Hague tribunal for his war crimes. On June 10th, Libyan officials announced the postponement of the national election to July 7th. Transitional authorities have yet to make election arrangements, such as the candidate list, and voter registration is so behind schedule that a June 19th election would be impossible.

SYRIA
Syria has been one of the countries subject to the most ongoing turmoil: according to Human Rights Watch’s 2012 World Report, the Syrian government was responsible for the death of an estimated 3,500 protesters and bystanders since November 15th, 2011, as well as human rights violations such as arbitrary arrests and torture. Furthermore, there were cases of Syrian authorities denying medical assistance to injured civilian protestors, not to mention the highly publicized arrests of activists and journalists trying to document the uprisings in Syria.
In the first phases of protest, Syria’s president Assad appeared to be on the fence between using force to quash protestors, and making reforms to appease them. In early April of last year, president Assad issued a decree that would grant nationality to the Kurds living in the eastern al-Hasaka region, an identity struggle that has been ongoing for decades. By the end of that month, Assad had also lifted the 48-year-old state of emergency. The summer of 2011 saw decrees increasing freedom of the media; however, at the same time, thousands of soldiers began to launch attacks against the government in protest of the continuing crackdowns — despite the apparent changes, the government was still one of force and authority. By December, the United Nations announced that Syria was on the verge of civil war. The Syrian National Council — meant to be an oppositional government — was formed in exile, but it, too, was so divided that it didn’t get recognition from Western or Arab governments.
The conflict in Syria is made all the more complicated by the power struggles between ethnic divisions: the Alawite sect holds the majority of the power, while the Sunni Muslims make up 75 per cent of the population.
Syria has been on the international community’s radar since the beginning of the protests, yet there are tensions and disagreement as to how Syria should be approached: in February 2012, the UN General Assembly voted to approve a resolution that would condemn the force used by president Assad, but Russia and China used their power to block any action on the part of the Security Council. The Arab League, the United States, and European Union states, among others, have all condemned Assad’s violence — some, such as the Arab League, have set their own sanctions or embargos on Syria — but China and Russia again warned against such sanctions.
The situation in Syria seems to be getting worse: in May 2012, the Red Crescent announced that up to 1.5 million people in Syria needed assistance in obtaining food, water, or shelter. On June 1st, 2012, the UN Human Rights Council called for an international inquiry into an attack on the village of Houla that resulted in over 100 civilian deaths. Days later, president al-Assad denied the government’s part in the massacre, despite evidence from the UN that armed government militia had been responsible. In response to the May 29th removal of Syrian ambassadors from 11 countries, including the US, on June 5th, the Syrian government announced the expulsion of Western diplomats from Syria. They agreed, however, to allow an increase in aid from international agencies.
The international community continued to watch Syria in helpless awe for the next several days, as UN monitors attempting to investigate the hamlet of Qubeir — where scattered body parts and bullet holes were indicative of atrocities — were blocked and shot at by Syrian government troops. June 9th and 10th saw outbreaks of even more violence, with clashes between soldiers and rebels in both southwest Syria and parts of the central Homs province — an estimated total of 55 people were killed, including women and children. These developments caused the top UN peacekeeping official to announce that Syria could now be considered in a state of civil war on June 12th. The world looked on as international missions failed in the face of Syrian gunfire, and as the United Nations continues to report new information about the direness of the Syrian situation: children as young as eight years old are allegedly being used as human shields for the Syrian military. On June 16th, the UN announced that due to the escalating clashes in Syria, it was suspending its observer mission. Syria had been the backdrop for ongoing international attempts at maintaining peace, not to mention tensions between world players such as the Unites States and Russia on how to approach the Syrian crisis — on June 15th, Russia’s chief arms exporter had announced that his company would provide Syria with defensive missile systems in case of US intervention.
Complicated by decades of oppression, religious differences, and tensions, this area is a complex one: the events of the Arab Spring were inspiring, and elevating, but now, over a year later, the countries involved are either left to pick up the pieces, or are entering new chapters of tension and turmoil. Vladimir Lenin — a man who, whether you like him or not, knew about revolution — once said, “It is impossible to predict the time and progress of revolution. It is governed by its own more or less mysterious laws.” Looking at the aftermath of the Arab Spring, it is easy to feel pessimistic, but the effects may not truly begin to show for many years to come.
Addendum: At the time of print, former Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak was on life-support, with conflicting, unconfirmed reports on whether or not he was clinically dead.

Album review: The Idler Wheel by Fiona Apple

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By Daryn Wright

An entirely acoustic album founded on Apple’s usual vulnerability and honest lyrics

After seven years, Fiona Apple is back, putting her piano-banging hands and sultry voice onto The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do. Apple has made a reputation for herself as being an angsty, sullen girl who sings about fruitless love and predictions of break-ups. But a notable difference between The Idler Wheel and her earlier albums is that Apple seems to have come to terms with her isolation.

“Every Single Night” opens the album with quiet piano keys and slowly builds up as Apple bellows “every single night’s a fight with my brain.” The ups and downs of mellow and frantic seem to reflect Apple’s moodiness, the swirling of contradictory intuitions.

What is remarkable about The Idler Wheel is the paradox that Apple is both more pared down and more powerful than ever before. Produced with Charley Drayton, the album is decidedly unembellished, leaving Apple’s deep voice as the showcase. “Valentine” features Apple on the piano with a deep bass-filled heartbeat in the background, the urgent repetition of “you, you, you.”

“Jonathan” pleads, “just tolerate my little fist tugging on your forest chest,” a response to Apple’s former flame, writer Jonathan Ames. Drayton, also the drummer on the album, provides primal percussion to the song. Apple’s voice, overlapped with piano and drums, creates an almost discordant progression, a few splashes of cymbals intruding from the background. She declares “I don’t want to talk about anything.”

Apple doesn’t create climactic music; the songs arrive and peter away untheatrically, and yet the melodies and honest lyrics are rooted someplace ignored by most other musical acts. Genre is slippery, indecipherable. There is a madness running throughout, and this madness translates as the rhythms running through Apple’s brain. She is a self-professed introvert, rarely interacting with other people, moving between her favourite bar and walking her dog. One can imagine that The Idler Wheel is Apple’s slow movement towards total cerebral overdrive.

“Left Alone” seems a summation of this isolation, asking “how can I ask anyone to love me when all I do is beg to be loved?” Fiona Apple once seemed to struggle against this characterization: “Extraordinary Machine,” Apple’s last album, used fuller instrumentals to illustrate lovelorn revenge and a push against reclusiveness. With The Idler Wheel, Apple has removed the frills, the roundedness of her earlier work, and what is left is jagged enough to cut deep.

Are TV shows created by women too heavily criticized?

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By Tannara — The Sheaf (CUP)

Image by: HBO

It’s no secret that women are funny and creative, just as it’s no secret that they have long been shut out of important positions behind the scenes in film and television. This is slowly changing, but as more and more women create the entertainment we consume, they face ever more criticism than their male counterparts.

Two new shows from just this year provide perfect examples of this trend: Fox’s New Girl, starring Zooey Deschanel and created by 30-year-old Elizabeth Meriweather, and HBO’s highly praised and heavily criticized Girls, which is written, produced and directed by 26-year-old Lena Dunham, who also stars in the show.

Meriweather’s first foray into television is a fairly standard sitcom about a woman who leaves her boyfriend of six years and moves into a swanky loft apartment with three dudes she has never met before. Hijinks ensue and neuroses clash. All told, it is more intelligent and far less grating than many sitcoms, and it rarely traffics in ugly stereotypes for cheap laughs as some network shows do (see: 2 and a Half Men, 2 Broke Girls).

But Meriweather and Deschanel faced trouble from day one, largely because women watching the show did not think Deschanel’s Jess, a quirky, “adorkable” elementary school teacher, was an appropriate representative of women. This is not only an impossible task — no one character could accurately represent half of the seven billion people on Earth — it is also something no male characters are tasked with.

For example, the character that Charlie Sheen made famous on 2 and a Half Men was never supposed to represent all men, and if men who watched the show had expected him to represent them, there would have been an uproar. Even men who like that show would be disgusted if they were expected to see themselves in all of Sheen’s philandering and careless misogyny. Because there are so many male TV characters and, more importantly, men creating TV and film, the people watching know that Sheen is not standing in for all men.

Scrutinizing women’s work more closely than men’s and being less forgiving of its errors makes sense to an extent: Meriweather is among a select few women given the opportunity to represent women in the media. Most of the people doing this are still men. So when a woman creates a female character and it is not perfect, it can be disappointing.

Of course, it would be impossible to create a character that every woman can relate to. This is why, despite the understandable urge to do so, it is ineffective and inappropriate to blame Meriweather for doing something that does not satisfy all of us.

Similarly, Lena Dunham’s Girls has faced harsh criticism for being yet another show about affluent white people in New York. The fact that Girls is more ambitious and aims at a more realistic portrayal of life than many shows means that when it fails, people are especially upset. This is most apparent when it comes to the show’s lack of non-white characters.

As has been pointed out time and again, New York is a vibrantly multicultural city where people of all ethnicities and backgrounds are making it or striving to make it. The fact that all of the main characters in the show are white is upsetting and alienating to the many non-white people who would love to see themselves represented.

That criticism is valid, but why hasn’t it been aimed at any other shows? Girls follows in a long tradition of shows about well-to-do white people in New York, from Mad About You to Friends to Sex and the City. Most of these shows were created by men, and none of them received much criticism for neglecting people of colour.

New York’s most realistic sitcom, Seinfeld, was also judged harshly for not having many black characters. But this criticism began after several seasons of the show had aired and it was a demonstrable, long-standing problem. Meanwhile, I read three essays on the paucity of people of colour on Girls before the series premiere aired.

Bored to Death is another recent HBO show about upper-class people in New York. The only real difference between the two is that Girls is about and created by women while Bored to Death was created by a man and stars men. And while Bored to Death had the same dearth of non-white characters, there was nowhere near the same level of criticism.

In a time when women are finally beginning to make real advances in controlling how they are represented in the media, they are also facing significantly more criticism for doing the same things men are doing. Some of this is deserved and some of it isn’t, but the fact that it is directed only at the shows women are putting together is both telling and counterproductive.

News Beat: June 25th

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Virtual unknown sweeps Internet comedy awards

In an unprecedented event, a virtual unknown swept the “IVAs” Internet video awards, last night. The video featuring several ducklings following a cat that they believed to be their mother beat out such prominent videos, as “fainting goat shenanigans” and “turtle stuck on back” for the coveted accolade.

Director of the short xXLusciousKoala1993Xx told reporters that she caught sight of the scene in a local park and was inspired to shakily film it on her iPhone 3G. Her motivation for the featurette was “because it was like the cutest thing ever!”

The decision has drawn its share of criticism however, chiefly from Lee Fields, the director of “Cat sits on baby”, the previous favorite to win. “Cat Sits on Baby was not even nominated. What video won? ‘Ducklings Following’ motherfucking ‘Cat’! That’s why the IVAs don’t matter.”

 

— Alex Lexington

 

BMO booths test limits of human eye contact

Over the last nine months, undergraduate psychology students have been working under a team of PhD candidates engaging in an extreme social experiment testing the limits of human eye contact avoidance.

Disguised as Bank of Montreal employees, the researchers routinely tried to engage their fellow students from several booths set up across all three SFU campuses and a handful of SkyTrain stations. The results were astonishing.

Lead researcher Julia Breenstein noted, “It was amazing, once we were in our business casual and behind those blue booths, it was like we completely vanished. We even purposefully tried to grab people’s attention with free Air Miles Reward Miles, but we still weren’t able to catch the eye contract of a single person. ”

Breenstein went on to add, “The research indicated identical findings to that of an Italian team who studied a similar phenomenon with Watchtower magazines.”

 

—Jeffrey Jefferson

 

Laugh riot breaks out downtown

The calm of Sunday evening was shattered last weekend, as audience members from a Jeff Dunham comedy special being filmed in the Commodore Ballroom poured out into the empty streets.

Although inititally content to chuckle to themselves, the brouhahas took a violent turn for the worse when, unprovoked, the crowds began quoting lines from the show.  As shouts of “Silence, I kill you!” and “Onna stick” filled the night, the sound of broken glass from storefronts soon followed.

In the aftermath of the riot, many critics decried the slow response time of the VPD. The rioters had free reign over the city for over an hour before the riot police arrived on scene, and began dispersing the crowds with loudspeakers blaring Nietzsche’s “Beyond Good and Evil” and posters of Ethiopian orphans plastered on their police shields.

 

—Pasqual Passerby

By Gary Lim

Porn apparently counts as cheating: Girlfriend

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By Will Ross

BURNABY — In a shocking and controversial proclamation, my girlfriend of two years, Beverly Mandel, has announced that the viewing of pornography during a relationship is tantamount to cheating. The decree was made following an unfortunate episode involving her laptop and German fetish porn; the SFU student broke down crying and screamed, “I can’t believe you’re cheating on me!”

The statement has since sent shockwaves through my circle of friends. When asked by The Peak if I was the only one who thought this was stupid, dating expert Dirk Shanley responded, “No, dude, that’s crazy. She’s a business student; they’re control freaks.” After taking another hit from the bong, Shanley enigmatically added, “It seems like it’s none of her . . . business!” which has baffled — oh, wait, I just got it.

The declaration is the latest in a series of controversies over Mandel’s seemingly non-existent sex drive. She has consistently agreed to intercourse only two or three times a month, and so far only once in June, leading to numerous Google searches for Deutsch purzelbaum unzucht.

Mandel has taken a notoriously contrarian perspective on such matters. “It’s like every night you’re with these other girls who don’t even really care about you,” she said, referring to colour-changing pixel grids as “girls.” Addressing allegations she cheated with her ex-boyfriend Bobby Fullerton, she claimed, “We didn’t do anything! He was passing through town and didn’t have anywhere to stay. You know how close we are.”

However, investigation of Mandel’s ongoing relationship with Fullerton has produced startling results. Using Mandel’s Gmail address and password, The Peak discovered an intensely personal email correspondence between the “exes,” with an average of 1.8 emails exchanged every day.

When confronted with this hard data, Mandel was vehemently defensive. “I don’t have to tell you anything about who I’m emailing! It’s not like you ever want to talk to me, anyway. All you want is sex. I can’t believe you did that!” Mandel ended the interview by yelling “Why don’t you go tell your new girlfriends about it!” and forcibly ejecting The Peak from her apartment. We are still conferring with our lawyers on whether this constituted assault.

The Peak has tried to ascertain whether or not Mandel is from the 1950s or something, but she has not responded to texts and phone calls requesting further interviews.

Pizza Hands!

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By April Alayon and Gary Lim