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Absurdist theatre takes the stage

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The School of Contemporary Arts brings you Ubu Cocu, SFU theatre’s fall mainstage production. Directed by Nicole DesLauriers, Ubu Cocu is about a sometimes-king named Ubu who invades the home of an old scientist and discovers that his wife is cheating on him. This isn’t Ubu’s only problem, though: his kids are running amok, his conscience is a constant nag, and he can’t get any pie. That’s right — pie.

The play is by French absurdist playwright Alfred Jarry and is part of a trilogy, which included Ubu Cocu (Ubu Cuckolded), Ubu Roi (Ubu the King or King Turd), and Ubu Enchaîné (Ubu in Chains). Only Ubu Roi ever ran during Jarry’s lifetime, and Ubu Cocu was never finished, but the pre-surrealist work was considered an influential classic of French theatre. The three works were all originally conceived to viciously satirize greed, religion, royalty, and stupidity.

“This is my favourite of the Ubu plays — it’s short and to the point, the characters are extremely intriguing, it’s hilarious and it has a chorus of sorts,” DesLauriers explains. She translated the play herself from French, creating a contemporary adaptation of the script with Tyler Nichols. “We’ve tightened up bits that seemed long and drawn out in translation and tried to freshen it up.”

The play seems an unlikely choice, with its many poop jokes and a set that features a sewage hole, but these unexpected aspects make it all the more fun and challenging. “This play is very close to my heart, and it is exciting to see how the show grew from the seed that it was to what it is today,” says DesLauriers. The absurdist nature of the play means that it does not follow the structure of a traditional production; what happens will be unpredictable.

“I think that if you know how to handle it, absurdism is not really that absurd at all. My approach is to find the logic of the world . . . and then direct it with a ‘realistic’ approach.  As long as the audience doesn’t try to place too much ‘real world’ logic on it, it’s totally relatable!” DesLauriers says.

The original Ubu character acted as a biting critique of the French bourgeois society and its evils during the late nineteenth century, but his stupidity and fumbling ineptitude seems to translate well in a time when relationship statuses become public domain. Despite its subject matter, Ubu Cocu is an original and entertaining production.

quotes1I think that if you know how to handle it, absurdism is not really that absurd at all.”

Nicole DesLauriers, director

“There is original music, singing, romance, puppets, comedy, gender bending, hints of relationships for all sexual orientations, characters you love, characters you hate and those that you love to hate,” DesLauriers says.

Students have been working hard on this production since the beginning of the fall semester. Auditions were held during the first week, and since then the cast has been working at least six days a week. Because of the show’s character-driven nature, much rehearsal time was spent developing characters and reworking the script. DesLauriers is a self-professed “collaborative director,” so working off of actors and designers helped to shape the final production.

The play has afforded students the opportunity to incorporate their own ideas into the pproduction. One of the actors says, “The show goes where we haven’t gone before in other acting opportunities; it pushes our boundaries.”

Celebrity Skin

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On Sept. 2 of this year, friends and acquaintances of James Franco such as Aziz Ansari, Bill Hader and Seth Rogen gathered to share playful jibes and bon mots at the actor’s expense on broadcast TV. The Comedy Central Roast series, in which polarizing celebrities are made to endure faux-insults and backhanded tributes in lean, has been a mainstay on the network for over a decade.

Though the program’s previous choices have been easy targets — Charlie Sheen, Donald Trump, William Shatner — Franco is the most left-field subject yet: an Oscar nominated PhD candidate who stars in stoner flicks and directs artsy documentaries that screen at film festivals. After a series of hit-or-miss barbs about Franco’s writing and his air of pretentiousness, he ended the roast by boasting, “This isn’t a roast. This is my greatest art installation yet.”

Why do we, as consumers of media, feel like Franco is denying us something? As a public figure, he’s impossible to pin down. After star-making turns in the high-school dramedy Freaks and Geeks and in the Sam Raimi-helmed Spider-Man series, Franco took a role in the popular ABC soap opera General Hospital as Robert James “Franco” Frank, a character he helped originate (and one that he’s legitimized as ‘performance art’). Since then, he’s published short stories, taught classes in literature, and been named Salon’s Sexiest Man Alive.

The secret behind Franco’s buzz-worthy status is that he defies our expectations of what a celebrity should be.

At this point, there’s very little he could do that would surprise any of us. Best friends with Marina Abramovic? Of course he is. Directing two feature-length literary adaptations, both due for release this year? Wouldn’t put it past him. Just released his new novel, Actors Anonymous, that may or may not be autobiographical? Sounds reasonable. But the secret behind Franco’s buzz-worthy status — and the reason he was chosen to be roasted this year — is that he defies our expectations of what a celebrity should be, and what the nature of celebrity is.

In the Western world, we tend to cling to public figures that espouse certain moral, social and cultural values we may or may not realize that we have. We idolized Marlon Brando because he was rugged, good looking and masculine; we idolize Michael Fassbender today for essentially the same reasons. Young, fresh-faced actresses are admired for their purity and scorned for their promiscuity.

Celebrities — especially movie stars — tend to be white, thin, young, cisgender and straight, and those that don’t fit into that narrow box are tokenized for their differences. Some of them gain popularity by virtue of tumultuous personal lives, scandalous sex tapes or outspoken political views, while others climb the ladder by way of acting talent or good looks.

The popularity of tabloids, talk shows and celebrity snapshots tend to contribute to experiences we place under the umbrella of the Dark Side of Fame, one that’s been fictionalized and mythologized to the point of self-parody. We know that being a celebrity requires constant performance, not just in the sense of acting but also in the sense of creating an image: the “real” Matt Damon, the “real” Jennifer Lawrence, the “real” James Franco.

Of course, these are as much performances as anything on a film reel: as Franco’s recent comedy This Is the End satirizes, the gap between the personal lives of celebrities and the personas that they create through interviews, public appearances, Instagram profiles and Twitter accounts is a wide one. The latter media have fostered a sense of personal connectivity — and a new means of promotion — between artist and consumer: each tweet is calculated and micromanaged in order to support a carefully crafted image, a euphemized version of an actor’s self.

It’s clear why so much attention is paid to these representations. Anyone who’s sat through an episode of Entertainment Tonight knows that even the slightest deviation from the status quo can earn you enough bad PR to sink your prospective film career. Word gets around.

Fatty Arbuckle, the silent film comedian who inspired Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin, never recovered from the accusations of rape which ruined his career, even after he was acquitted and offered a formal apology by the jury; Michael Jackson, whose accusations of child abuse ended in ambiguity and an out-of-court settlement, suffered a similar fate. The truth is obscured by good copy, and talented performers fall into obscurity because of tiny, insignificant misdemeanors.

We tend to cling to public figures that espouse certain moral, social and cultural values.

Why, then, is James Franco still so popular? Surely he’s broken enough rules by this point. His low-culture appeal clashes with his high-art aspirations. Fans of his popcorn flick fodder decry his art installations as snobbish, while his high class followers see his big screen pursuits as banal. The actor doesn’t fit into any established box, and any attempts to put him into one — his Academy Award nomination, his Sexiest Man Alive moniker — have only hardened his eccentric resolve.

Whether or not you think that James Franco is a misguided idiot or an avant-garde genius — and it’s entirely possible that he’s both — it’s hard to argue that his envelope-pushing public image raises some valuable questions about our culture of celebrity. In lieu of an omnipresent religious figure (or set of figures), our Western society casts its eyes towards the rich and the famous: cookie cutter archetypes in the shape of human beings, held up as the prime example of what it means to live a successful life.

If nothing else, maybe Franco’s greatest art installation yet is himself, arguably one of the strangest celebrity figures in Hollywood, and one that makes us question why “celebrities” exist in the first place. Like his bestie Abramovic in her installation The Artist Is Present, Franco looks our modern society straight in the eyes. Guess who’ll be the first to blink?

Embarrassed Earth claims latest earthquake was just “seismic event”

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PHILIPPINES — People across the world were shocked last week by reports that Earth had been struck by yet another devastating earthquake but according to sources close to the planet it was just a “seismic event” and nothing to get worked up about.

The “quake” in question took place at 8:12 a.m. on Oct. 15, as Earth was relaxing from a long day of orbiting the sun and making tides go in and out, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere it was struck in the central Philippines island of Bohol.

“It was a shock, there’s no doubt about it,” said Fred Evancio, upon hearing the news, “I mean, I knew the Earth wasn’t in great shape but you never expect to hear about something like that.”

Despite the concerns of Evancio and others who expressed fear for their beloved planet’s safety, according to scientists who work closely with the Earth, this is nothing to get in a tizzy about.

“Everyone has to just calm down, it was just a minor seismic event, they happen all the time,” explained earth scientist Kenneth Wrigley. “Trust me Earth isn’t even going to miss an orbit!”

While Wrigley did admit that Earth’s climate change lifestyle did factor into the “event,” based on the signals he’s getting from his planet, it’s going to work on itself and recover but would prefer if everyone didn’t make a big deal out of this thing.

“Of course it’s a wake-up call, sure, but there’s no reason to be too alarmed,” Wrigley said on behalf of the planet. “Earth will bounce back, I know it, our ol’ planet’s not going anywhere, it was just a little seismic blip —  that killed 93 people and counting —  so just breathe easy, Earth is fine!”

Wrigley went on to say that Earth doesn’t want anyone to change their life because of this and that they should take their mind off the whole thing by driving around in their Escalade or burning some fossil fuels.

Getting Air

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With the weather getting colder and more people heading up to the slopes every day, SFU’s Ski and Snowboard Club is the foremost winter sports club the school has to offer. The Peak sat down with Aurelien Sudan and Matthew Wiebe, who hold the positions of president and vice-president, respectively.

“It’s just a really good way for people on campus to interact with each other and do a lot of fun activities,” begins Sudan, a Communications major and avid snowboarder. “We have people from every level . . . people that are experienced riders, and people that have never been put in a pair of skis or a snowboard before,” he adds. “We have a lot of interest, but we can always go bigger, and that’s what we are striving to be: a bigger community.”

The pair tries to keep the club ski- and snowboard-related, developing friendships and “getting the legs ready,” as Sudan puts it, before they head out to the mountains. As it turns out, the club is about more than just promoting an active lifestyle. “It’s really about getting a community of people to ride in the mountains and have some fun together,” explains Wiebe, a Business major with a minor in Geography.

The club is also able to offer many discounts to their members using the connections they have made throughout BC. “It’s an expensive sport,” as Wiebe says, and not everyone has the money to do it on their own.

That’s why, as Sudan explains, “we try to increase the amount of people from SFU that may want to go to get gear for cheaper at [local sports shops] . . . We also have some connections with many different resorts around the area . . . we promote the resorts as much as we can and, in exchange, they give us discounts.” These sponsors give club members the opportunity to grab gear and transportation on a student budget.

For Sudan, the club means more than just a place to socialize. He moved here four years ago from Switzerland, and credits the club with his success at SFU. “The club has definitely impacted my life a lot,” he laughs. “The semester had already started when I got admitted, and I was not even living on campus. It was hard to network, but one of the first things I did when I came was got involved with the Ski and Snowboard Club.

“My whole network of friends expanded because of this club. All of those friendships are still strong today and it’s been great.” Sudan is just one example of the many members that have been impacted by the friendships they have made in the club.

quotes1It’s really about getting a community of people to ride in the mountains and have some fun together.”

Matthew Wiebe, SFU Ski and Snowboard Club vice-president

In Wiebe’s case, he takes pride in his ability to provide a community to students at SFU just like he did for Sudan four years earlier. “It’s been an awesome way to be involved on campus and meet people and network, being able to provide this experience to people who might not feel like they have an opportunity to meet people.”

At the end of the day for these two, developing a community at SFU is the most important and fulfilling part of being involved with the club. “We are trying to develop a community, so we try and hold a range of events that are inclusive to everyone. Anyone can be a part of it. Whether it’s gymnastics nights, barbecues, gear tuning nights, gear swap or our trips — they all allow people to come out and have a good time,” Wiebe says.

Registration for SFU’s Ski and Snowboard Club is open all year long and the membership is valid for the full year.

Strong fall season for SFU golf

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It’s been a successful fall season for SFU’s golf teams and, while the men’s side’s 2013 play comes to a close, their women’s team counterparts are still swinging away with one competition left in their 2013 schedule.

The women finished fifth out of seven schools at the University of Victoria Vikes Shootout, an event that wrapped up last Tuesday. Senior Nicky Jordan and promising freshman Erin Farner led the way for the Clan, with the two finishing tied for 13th place on the final leaderboard with two-day scores of 162.

Farmer recorded the best total for the Clan on Day 1, with an opening round of 80, while Jordan went from shooting 85 on day one to just 77 on Day 2.

Sophomore Jennifer McTeer finished third for the Clan — 23rd overall — with a two-day score of 171; Rochelle Rozensoff and MacKenzie Field rounded out the Clan’s scores with totals of 173 and 175, respectively.

The Clan women have a bit of a break before returning to the links, as they’re back in action on Oct. 27 for the University of Hawaii Hilo Invitation, where they’ll look to improve on their fifth-place finish.

The men, meanwhile, are sitting pretty until their season resumes in early 2014.

In the Chico State University Wildcat Classic, the team’s final event of the fall, the Clan finished fourth overall. Capping of a very successful season, and marking the third time this year that the Clan have finished as the top school from the Great Northwest Athletic Conference (GNAC).

Moreover, the Clan’s Bret Thompson was named the Red Lion Golfer of the Week in the GNAC, marking the second consecutive week an SFU golfer has earned the award — captain and senior Mike Belle got the nod last week.

These types of trends bode well for the 2014 portion of the season — the Clan have plenty to look forward to, and to build on in what will likely be another successful portion of their season.

How to be courteous to trans* people

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A trans* person is anyone whose gender identity does not align with that which they were designated at birth. A cis person is anyone whose gender identity does align with the one they were assigned at birth. Often, cis people are very insensitive to trans* people, which hurts them in ways that cis people cannot comprehend.

This is not usually intentional, in my experience, but due to ignorance. That doesn’t let cis people off the hook; they are responsible for educating themselves. The following is a primer on basic trans* etiquette.

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is not to out a trans* person to anyone without explicit permission to do so. As we all remember from high school, word of a person’s supposed deviancy can travel quickly.

There is no way to control who gains access to that information once it is out there and, as in the case of Brandon Teena, this can lead to horrific consequences for the person in question.

The cis world is fundamentally hostile to trans* people. At the very least, it is rude to out someone, even to another trans* person.

I have had to lie often to conceal that a person is trans*, and I have no problem doing so. Most frequently, I have to pretend that the person has always been living as the gender that they live now. For example, I have to pretend that my childhood friend was designated male at birth. This involves pretending experiences he had that are specific to girls did not happen, and ones that are specific to boys did.

 

The review process will include the Committee meeting with Petter and consulting with the vice-presidents and deans across the university.

 

At the very least, it is rude to out someone, even to another trans* person.

Given the results for being untruthful or truthful  — exist comfortably in a society, or be ostracized by it — I am more than willing to tell a small lie for my friend.

Obviously, this necessitates consistently calling that person by their preferred pronouns and name. To develop this habit, it helps to genuinely think of them as their authentic identity. If you have to stop mid-thought and correct yourself, then do it. It will only make it easier to talk about them without slipping up and potentially exposing them to violence. Consistency is the key to avoiding accidents, which may cause gender dysphoria, the medical affliction that transitioning treats.

If you did not know the person before they began transitioning, and you have only just learned of their trans* identity, do not ask them for their “real” name or if they have had surgery or hormone therapy. They do not all choose to undergo hormone therapy, and even fewer undergo surgery.

Given the common expectation within and without the trans* community to appear cis, asking such personal details contributes to already enormous pressure to fit in with the cis world. Very few cis people would appreciate questions about their genitals, anyhow.

Finally, I cannot stress enough that you ought to treat trans* people as equals. If you find it especially difficult to interact with someone who you know is trans* because of their gender, that is your problem and not theirs. If you are a cis person and found this article too educational in tone, you may not have acknowledged your privilege.

This article is instructive because most cis people I know require instruction in this matter. But when it comes to implementing these tools to avoid hurting trans* folk, it’s up to each one of us.

AMS gives eviction notices to 75 clubs at UBC

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UBC Clubs

VANCOUVER — The AMS gave 75 clubs eviction notices on Wednesday.

Thirty-one of these clubs are being evicted from their offices, with the remainder losing their locker space in the SUB. The list of clubs evicted from offices included prominent clubs like the Ski and Board Club, the Sailing Club and the Surf Club.

Student Administrative Commission vice-chair Nina Scott said these clubs received notice because they failed to turn in their tenancy agreements for 2013-2014. “We had a deadline and it passed,” Scott said.

The locker tenancy agreements and office tenancy agreements are two-page agreements that grant clubs space, with the commitment that the club will maintain the safety and cleanliness of their space.

“We have over 380 [clubs], so it’s a small fraction,” Scott said. She said a “good chunk” of the clubs who received the notice were clubs that either have been inactive or already dissolved.

Peter Wojnar, president of the Ski and Board Club, said he turned in his tenancy agreement one day after the Sept. 30 deadline. “We were assured at the time that it would probably be fine [so it] kind of came as a surprise,” he said.

Wojnar said that he received an email reminder of the deadline in the monthly AMS clubs newsletter in September, but then not again until one hour before the deadline.

Clubs can appeal the notice by emailing the Student Administrative Commission, according to Scott. “They give a good reason why they didn’t [send the form in], and just explain to us why they need the space.”

 

There is a large waiting list of clubs who want the space.

 

Although the original email made no mention of appeals, Scott said that an email was sent out on the following Thursday to all clubs who got the eviction notice, telling them that they had 10 days to appeal. She said there is a large waiting list of clubs who want the space if any of the clubs who received the notice fail to appeal before the deadline.

Wojnar sent in the Ski and Board Club’s appeal on Friday, and said they have no plans to move out. “[I think] what’s happening is that this year the AMS is really tired with the fact that nobody is taking them seriously and is just trying to get us to take them seriously,” said Wojnar.

“I wasn’t too surprised to see it coming to us . . . but I was surprised to see things like UBC Cancer Society [get the notice], and sorts of clubs that are actually providing really important services to students.”

Scott said that in the meantime, clubs who are appealing can stay where they are. “For now, they can stay. We’re not going to come with pitchforks and torches and say, ‘Pack up now.’ That would be ridiculous.”

October brings crisp words and stories

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Colourful leaves cover the ground and the air is crisp; autumn is here, and with it comes the annual Vancouver Writers Festival. For six days at the end of October, Granville Island buzzes with writers and readers of all sorts, sharing their stories and the written word.

Now in its 26th year, the festival is host to authors from around the world, gathering to discuss their work with enlightening moderators and rapt audiences. More than 80 events from October 22 to 27 will attract approximately 15,000 attendees ranging from school children to senior citizens.

A handful of the authors have connections to SFU, such as critically-acclaimed author Shaena Lambert, who was a mentor at SFU back in 2011. Lambert has just published her third book, Oh, My Darling, a collection of ten short stories that, according to Lambert, explore the “secret streams that run through families — love and loss, aches and desires — that we only acknowledge to ourselves.”

This theme emerged slowly: she worked on the stories intermittently for six years, finding inspiration from different places and experiences. Lambert explains that her process involves writing down seeds of ideas and bits of inspiration in a little book and then looking at it later. “Sometimes it’s nothing, other times it grows into a story.”

Published as both a short story author and novelist, Lambert likes each genre for different reasons. “A novel is like a marathon; you have to train and can’t just expect results. A short story is like a bit of DNA: it illuminates a piece of life, and then it is over.”

These little life illuminations are the focus of EVENT #77: Celebrating 25 Years of Journey. Lambert is one of four authors on the panel including local writer Théodora Armstrong and moderator Timothy Taylor. “[The Journey Prize anthology] launched a lot of careers including mine,” admits Lambert, who is also a writing mentor.

quotes1I’ve always been sitting in the audience, so it’s amazing to be on stage, but it’s a little intimidating.”

Janie Chang, author

As a mentor back in 2011, Lambert participated in SFU’s Writers’ Studio, providing feedback for budding writers, one of whom was Janie Chang. Chang published her first novel, Three Souls, this fall and will also be participating in the Vancouver Writers Festival.

Chang initially graduated from SFU with a Computing Science degree, and gradually found her way into marketing communications. After a while, she realized that part of her was being neglected, and that it couldn’t be ignored any more.

She enrolled in The Writers’ Studio, a move that has paid off. “It was the best decision of my life in terms of getting started writing,” Chang admits. “The Writers’ Studio accelerated the learning curve at least ten years.” During the year, she produced the manuscript for Three Souls, which Lambert called “a brilliant novel.”

Prior to enrolling in TWS, Chang had taken only one continuing education course in writing, but had been recording her family’s oral histories, passed down through the generations, for years. Her grandmother’s story inspired the core of Three Souls, which is narrated by a woman’s spirit. “[My grandmother’s story] haunted me all my life — I knew her story would be the first told.”

Chang says her grandmother was from a wealthy family and was highly educated, but she was rebellious and was married off as punishment. “Chinese women had very little choice and destiny, but they could influence things in an indirect way,” — thus the idea for a ghost narrator.

Chang will be participating in EVENT #59: As the Past Comes to Life, exploring historical fiction and how the real world shapes a story. “I’ve always been sitting in the audience, so it’s amazing to be on stage, but it’s a little intimidating,” admits Chang.

What sounds even more intimidating is Chang’s personal attempt to “read all the books by the other authors on the panels.” For her event at the Vancouver Writers Festival that’s four novels, but she is also participating in the Surrey International Writer’s Conference the same weekend and will then be heading to Toronto for the International Festival of Authors. “It’s slightly delusional,” admits Chang.

The Daily Grind

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The basics

A cup of Joe; rocket fuel; an early morning pick-me-up. Whatever you call it, chances are you drink coffee pretty regularly — in fact, the average Canadian drinks almost three cups daily. As university students, we tend to depend on a fresh mug of java more than most to get us through those late night study sessions and eight-in-the morning lectures. But have you ever thought about where this magical beverage comes from, or how it’s made? Look no further, folks. The Peak has got you covered.

You probably already know that coffee is made of ground beans, harvested from the seeds of a plant named Coffea. The caffeine in coffee beans actually evolved as a defense against predators — thankfully, death by coffee is reserved for animals a heck of a lot smaller than us. These plants tend to grow close to the equator in an area we refer to as the Bean Belt. Nations in Central Africa, South America and Southeast Asia are the main exporters of coffee, although India and Hawaii are also notable bean growers.

Once harvested, usually on plantations, coffee beans can be divided into two categories. Arabica is the most common variety of coffee bean, making up roughly 80 per cent of the world’s coffee. Originally indigenous to Ethiopia, these beans have a soft, sweet taste with hints of fruit and a high acidity.

Robusta beans, on the other hand, are less common than arabica, and tend to be considered inferior. The beans have almost double the caffeine, and the taste is generally harsh and grainy with a hint of peanut. However, some of the best brews in the world are made with robusta beans — they just tend to be few and far between.

Once they’re processed and ready to go, coffee beans are exported across the globe. The biggest coffee drinkers per capita might not be the countries you expect: Finland, Norway and Iceland make up the top three coffee consumers, with Canada coming in ninth place — 17 spots above our neighbour to the south.

A brief history

The word “coffee” can actually be traced back to the Arabic qahwa, a term originally applied to wine. European coffee drinkers even came to know the drink as “the wine of Islam.” The story goes that this Abyssinian guy named Kaldi noticed one day that his goats were jumping and dancing — what a sight that must have been! Being the Sherlock he was, Kaldi decided to investigate the reason for his goats’ strange behaviour. This led him to discover some red berries the goats had consumed.

After giving them a try himself, he noticed their energizing effects and rushed to tell his wife, and the rest is history. So the next time you drink coffee, make sure to thank Kaldi (or maybe his goats) for their amazing discovery. As it usually happens with myths, no one really knows if this story is true or not, however, this is only one of the many incredible stories behind the history of coffee.

Another version of its discovery credits Sheik Omar, a Yemeni recluse who could cure the sick with prayer, for discovering the coffee bean. He was exiled to a desert cave and was starving to death when he discovered the same red berries as Kaldi’s goats. Since they were bitter to the taste, he roasted them and found they hardened. He then decided to boil them down to their liquid form, which led to him discovering coffee as we know it today. It is said that he then took his “energy drug” back to his hometown, where they made him a Saint.

Whether you believe the myths or not, history suggests that the Arabic people were the earliest coffee drinkers. One of the reasons may be that Islam, the most widely followed religion in Arabia, prohibits the drinking of any alcoholic beverage. As any university student will tell you, coffee is about the best alternative there is to a stiff drink.

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Types of coffee

The first type of coffee is, naturally, the father of all others: espresso. (Not expresso.) I’ve always wondered what the difference between drip coffee and espresso was — turns out that espresso is made by forcing hot water under high pressure through powdered coffee beans, whereas drip coffee is made from more coarsely ground beans brewed with less pressure. Due to the concentration of the brew, espresso shots tend to be quite small. Don’t let the size fool you, though: pure espresso packs a punch.

A caffè Americano, on the other hand, is one third espresso mixed with two thirds hot water. American soldiers in the Second World War would add hot water to their espressos, finding straight espresso shots too strong. They were mocked by British and French soldiers, and the name “Americano” stuck.

A cappuccino has an espresso shot or two at the bottom, topped with equal parts steamed milk and milk foam. In the first half of the 20th century, cappuccinos were made differently all over Europe; however, in the post-war era, espresso machines became more widely available and baristas worldwide began to make them with the recipe we know today.

A caffè latte is similar to a cappuccino, although it cuts down on the foam by about half. This drink is almost always an essential part of an Italian breakfast. One fun fact is that many people nowadays spell it incorrectly as latté or lattè.  If you’re one of those people, please stop making the Italians mad!

A caffè mocha is a variant on the standard latte: it’s topped with a healthy dollop of whipped cream, and a layer of chocolate syrup separates the espresso shot and steamed milk. The name “mocha” can be traced back to a Yemeni town named Mocha, formerly a famous exporter of coffee. Who would have known that the caffè mocha you ordered from Starbucks the other day got its name from a tiny Arabic village?

Another amazing invention the Italians came up with is the affogato, which is basically an espresso shot poured over the top of a scoop of ice cream or gelato. People recommend vanilla ice cream, since it mixes well with the flavour of the espresso — but if you’re really a badass, try strawberry or mango gelato.

Last but not least — considering many of us drink one at least once a week — is the macchiato. There are two types of macchiatos. A caffè macchiato is an espresso shot with a little bit of steamed milk added to “stain” the shot. A latte macchiato, on the other hand, is basically an upside-down latte, with the steamed milk first and an espresso shot on top. Caramel macchiatos are the most popular variant of this drink, but maple, chocolate and vanilla macchiatos are equally tasty.

Where to find the perfect cup

We may be “no fun city,” but we sure know our Joe. There are many different brewers of coffee in Vancouver who provide us with amazing coffee, day after day, late night study session after late night study session.

One of these brewers is Forty Ninth Parallel, who use custom roasted coffee beans which are produced all over the world. This is my personal pick for the best coffee that Vancouver has to offer — it’s tasty, packs a punch, and it’s available pretty much everywhere in the city. The company also practices fair trade, which is awesome. I hope you’re listening, SFU.

Matchstick coffee roasters, on the other hand, are the new kids on the block. Their coffee is sold in shops across the city, and their main location is in a particularly cozy corner of Mount Pleasant. The shop itself is on the small side, but it makes up for its size with a generous helping of quirky charm. It’s a little out of the way if you don’t live in the city, but if you’re in the area, make sure to check it out.

JJ Bean is worth a visit, too. Originally one of many small, adorable coffee joints on Granville Island, the shop has since expanded to Main Street, Commercial Drive, Yaletown, and even the Downtown Eastside. This coffee is basically gasoline — if you’re new to the brew, you might want to avoid JJ Bean, as they boast one of the strongest cups in the city. If you’re feeling adventurous, though, this place is among the best stops in the city. And their muffins are heavenly.

With locations on Broadway Street and another in the heart of Kitsilano, you can’t go wrong with Elysian Coffee. Their baristas are some of the most talented in Vancouver, they’ve always got great music playing, and their coffee prices won’t break the bank. If you’re a film buff, head to their Kits location before catching a flick at the Fifth Avenue Cinemas.

Caffè Artigiano also deserves a mention, if only for how cool their place actually is. It’s an Italian-style cafè that has great artsy stuff on their wall that would definitely want hanging up in your living room. There are lots of locations around Vancouver, so do drop in — not just for the coffee, but for the ambiance.

One of my favourite lesser-known spots is Innocent Coffee. Even though I’ve only been there once, the way it’s designed reminds me of a special cafè back home in Karachi, Pakistan named The 2nd Floor. They have great coffee, and are located a stone’s throw away from Granville Island.

The last place you’ll definitely want to check out is Little Mountain Coffee on Main Street. A few of my friends are regular customers there and, not only does this place have outstanding coffee and baked goods, it also boasts one of the friendliest staffs in Vancouver. If you stop by, let them know how awesome they are, for me.

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Is it good for you?

There are two camps when it comes to the issue of health benefits and coffee: either it’ll stunt your growth and offset your sleep schedule, or it’ll prolong your life and stave off depression. Though most people seem to fall into one camp or the other, the truth is that coffee, like anything else, has its upsides and downsides.

Oddly enough, the health risk that coffee has most often been associated with — heart disease — can be either increased or decreased by coffee consumption. It all depends on a gene called CIP1A2. This gene tells your liver how to wuickly process caffeine. If you metabolize the caffeine quickly, studies have shown that your risk of heart disease can decrease. If your CIP1A2 tells your body to process the caffeine more slowly, however, your risk of heart disease can increase.

Coffee can also be damaging to the lining of your intestines and stomach, and doctors advise patients with ulcers, gastritis and colitis to keep their coffee intake to a minimum. High consumption rates of coffee — we’re talking six or seven cups in a single day — can lead to restlessness, insomnia, anxiety and irritability. Pregnant women generally keep to a two-cups-a-day maximum, as high levels of caffeine intake have been linked to miscarriages and children with low birth weights.

But the news isn’t all bad. Because caffeine blocks the Adenosine neurotransmitter, it leads to increased neuron firings in the brain, which might actually increase your memory, vigilance and general cognitive function. Coffee has also been linked with lower rates of Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. It’s also got its fair share of essential nutrients and antioxidants — in fact, in the Western world, it’s our number one source of antioxidants, beating out fruits and vegetables combined.

The takeaway? Coffee can be both good and bad for you, depending how you drink it and how your body processes it.

Conclusion

T.S. Eliot once famously quipped, “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” It turns out most Canadians can sympathize: coffee plays an important role in our mornings, afternoons and nights, whether or not we spend much time considering it. As any seasoned coffee snob will tell you, a cup of Joe can bring people closer together, and help them achieve anything they set their mind to.

This is the way the world ends: not with a bang but with an espresso shot.

Men’s soccer climbs rankings

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WEB-m soccer-Adam Ovenell-carter

After playing to their first loss of the season and dropping from first to ninth-place in the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Div. II rankings, the SFU men’s soccer team was determined to reassert themselves.

For the most part, they’ve been successful in doing just that.

The Clan have gone unbeaten in their last three matches since their 2–1 defeat against Seattle Pacific, including two wins.

The first was a 2–1 win over Saint Martin’s University Saints, and the second was a defensively dominant 2–0 shutout over the Western Washington University Vikings.

Facing the Vikings, Clan newcomer Alex Kleefeldt, a junior defender out of Frankfurt, Germany, shone. He opened the scoring with a header in the 12th minute, and was a key member of the Clan’s defensive strategy that completely nullified the WWU attack. For his efforts, he was named the Great Northwest Athletic Conference (GNAC) Red Lion defensive player of the week.

“Alex has done a great job of solidifying our defence,” said head coach Alan Koch in a press release. “He has now adjusted to the North American game and also comes up with some timely goals for us.”

Efforts like Kleefeldt’s have pulled the Clan back up into third-place in the National Soccer Coaches Association of America NCAA rankings. Kleefeldt has helped his team to four shutouts this season and, while there’s little doubting the Clan’s defensive prowess, this season they’ve been unable to put teams away offensively as they have in past years — especially on the road.

More than a few times, the Clan have had to play catch up, as they did on Thursday against the University of Mary Mauraders. The game ended in a 2–2 double-overtime draw, but SFU trailed twice in the game, something they were unaccustomed to doing in seasons past.

If not for a flurry of goals late — three in the final 12 minutes, including two from the Clan — the outcome could likely have been another defeat, and another drop in the rankings. For a team that demands perfection, two losses on the season would’ve been unacceptable.

A draw isn’t exactly the desired outcome either, but the Clan will likely take the result happily after trailing by 1–0 and 2–1 scores in the final 15 minutes. But, as it stands, the Clan have made the necessary adjustments after that loss to rival SPU Falcons to make another climb in the rankings.

Draws won’t necessarily help their position there, but their ability to consistently fight back is laudable — though the less they have to rely on it, the better. They’re still comfortably in first-place in the GNAC and, as Koch will say, winning the conference is the first step to bringing home an NCAA Div. II championship.