Students encounter a zombie on campus

Written by: Jennifer Low SFU students were stunned on Wednesday after realizing that what seemed to be a new transfer student was actually a zombie,...

Halloween costumes to get you laid

Written by: Hannah Davis What’s the sexiest holiday of the year? That’s right, Easter. But second to that is, you guessed it, Groundhog Day. A...

Major in a minute: Joint major in business and environment

Written by: Elise Burgert Do you find school boring? Facts mundane? The truth . . . too simple? If so, apply to one of the Oxymoronic...

The Curve God listens

Written by: Zoe Vedova Everyone knows how the manifesto of the Curve God starts: THE CURVE GOD LOVES YOU! BUT ARE YOU PREPARED TO LOVE HIM...

SFSS forgets to make room for themselves in the SUB

Written by: Aaron Richardson BREAKING NEWS: Throughout the construction of the new Student Union Building (SUB) on SFU’s Burnaby campus by the SFSS, it has...

The Secret Lizard Love Affair

Written by: Jessica Parsons Rose Blossom is no ordinary girl. By day, she works at her local stuffed animal hospital. By night, her body transforms...

Students gather at AQ reflection pond to reflect on their own worthlessness

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Copy Editor Last Tuesday, hundreds of SFU students congregated at the reflecting pond in the Academic Quadrangle (AQ) to peer into...

Exclusive interview with long-dead SFU dungeoneer

Written by: Alex Bloom Sandra Swiftfoot is a third-year wizarding student with a minor in roguishness. She died exploring the labyrinthine corridors of SFU over...

The student oath

Written by: Nathaniel Tok The night after the last convocation ceremony finished and graduates had taken their thousandth photo of the AQ pond, as the...

“Helpful” advice to get you through midterm season

Written by: Jennifer Low It’s that horrible time of year again: midterm season. Students like you once again bury themselves beneath mountains of notes and...