Joy Johnson realizes she took her guard down too soon

By: Freida Watermelon, SFU Student Content warning: mentions of genocide. Joy Johnson is exasperated because she does not know what more she could’ve done! The Board...

Gen Z learning Gen Alpha slang to beat “aging like milk” allegations

By: C Icart, Humour Editor A local Zoomer (they did not want to be referred to as such, but this is my article and I...

Everyone hates the stairwell detour at Commercial-Broadway

By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer If you’re a regular SkyTrain-goer in Vancouver, chances are you’re no stranger to being outrageously inconvenienced. Now, TransLink wants us...

Joy Johnson breathes a sigh of relief because there is no SFU encampment

By: Freida Watermelon, SFU Student Content warning: mentions of genocide. As she was sitting in her office reading the most recent message from the UBC president...

Get in girl, we’re serotoninmaxxing

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Dear diary,  Today, I watched a reel of a mother telling her daughters to go outside via a parody of Jojo...

Local enby starting every conversation with “have you purchased my gift yet?” during their birthday month

By: C Icart, Humour Editor After 11 torturous non-birthday months, soon to be 25-year-old Blue Rose (again, totally not a pseudonym I am making up...

STORYTIME: THE SPIDER IN MY BATHROOM HAS A FINSTA (part 3)

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Y’allllll. I don’t wanna hear it, I don’t wanna hear it! I know I’m posting this storytime late, but is...

Former SFU mascot candidate grilled by hiring manager

By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer I sit down at the table, its surface cold against my trembling hands. The smooth papers rustle beneath my palms,...

Ranking dairy alternatives from a cultured lactose intolerant’s perspective

By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer Picture this: it’s a Monday morning, you’ve just found out that you’re lactose intolerant (or maybe have issues digesting...

Traitors vs. Faithfuls: The Quiz

By: Saije Rusimovici, Staff Writer Are you a Traitor or a Faithful? The campus is divided. A select few are chosen as Traitors, tasked with...