The case of the missing cat

By: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective It was a typical afternoon scrolling through my favourite micro-influencer’s Instagram — my barber’s grandma’s neighbour’s dog Leroy, when I...

The Peak investigates: Maple Syrup Gate

By: Mason Mattu, Investigative Journalist As an investigative journalist with The Peak, I have taken it upon myself to investigate the most harrowing and shocking...

Top five WWE moves to destroy ChatGPT

By: Mason Mattu, professional AI assassin I may be a News Writer for The Peak — but on the side, I am a professional AI...

Trump appoints Onijah Robinson as USAID administrator

By: Mason Mattu, member of the SFU <3 Onijah Fan Club WASHINGTON, DC — In a hastily-called press conference on March 3, US President...

CONFESSIONALS: I work out from home so no one can see me fall

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Health and fitness trends come and go. If you’re old enough, you start to see them repeating. Look me in...

The benefits of being Black in a mostly non-Black community

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Kendrick performed at the Super Bowl last week, and while I didn’t watch the performance (I refuse to watch men...

Hinge is a game, and I’m losing

By: DILF Hunter, SFU Student From 2023 to 2024, I was a frequent user of dating apps out of boredom. I gained nothing from...

Dear Peakie aids those in need

By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate and C Icart, Humour Editor Dear Peakie,  I love merch! People think my favourite slogan is “fight, fight, fight,” but it’s...

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Joy Johnson!

By: Yasmin Hassan, Staff Writer In a revelation that left the SFU community astonished and amused, it appears our esteemed president and vice-chancellor, Dr. Joy...

Quiz: Which broken SFU facility are you?

By: Phone Min Thant, Staff Writer Welcome to Simon Fraser University. You are yet another facility students pay dearly for, only to find out that...