“We apologize for the accidental police raid on what was revealed to be just a neighbourhood sex dungeon”

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for attending this press conference on such short notice. There’s been a lot of chatter and rumours circulating on...

Uh oh! Hackers just announced they’re going to leak the names of everyone with a still-active Neopets account

A team of experienced Internet activists are claiming they’ve hacked the servers of Neopets.com, and will soon be releasing confidential records of every person...

HUMOUR: Courses we’d like to see offered for the upcoming Fall semester

Last week marked the beginning of course registration for Fall 2015, which means you’ve probably already sifted through the uninteresting crap being force-fed into...

HUMOUR: Delta plans shutdown of Alex Fraser Bridge for Magic: The Gathering tournament

Shortly after the cancellation of the widely criticised ‘Om the Bridge,’ another familiar politician, Delta mayor Lois Jackson, announced that the city will be shutting...

SFU’s bullies to begin accepting Bitcoins

With the SFU’s bookstores now accepting Bitcoins in exchange for textbooks and other callously over-priced course materials, several campus bullies who regularly beat students...

Build SFU members revealed to be reptilian aliens, vow revenge on decision to reject debenture

On January 21, the students of Simon Fraser University decided to reject giving a debenture to Build SFU for the construction of a Student...

If famous romantic movie quotes were rewritten to be about pizza

“You had me at stuffed crust.” “Here’s looking at you, Pizza Garden.” “Don’t forget: I’m just a girl, standing in front of a ham and pineapple...

How to make the most of your Sir John A. MacDonald Day party

It creeps up faster every year. On January 11, Canadians everywhere will be coming together to celebrate the most magical holiday of the season:...

Phallic Erections: Seven Penis-Shaped Buildings That Look Just Like Penises!

If you’ve ever looked at a building before, you can probably attest to the fact that architecture is pretty weird. Occasionally, whether they mean...

History’s Greatest Friendly Political Wagers

The “Friendly Political Wager” is one of the great traditions of both sports and politics. Symbolic bets between two rival city’s political leaders is...