New U.N. study reveals that only sustainable source of protein is eating the rich

Written by Gabrielle McLaren, Editor-in-Chief In view of soy fields eroding soil worldwide, eggs violating poultry rights, and tofu being too moist for comfort,...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: October 14–20

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Victory will be yours this week. No matter the cost. You might end up in...

A cheeky deBRIEF on wasting your best undies on a boring day

Written by Paige Riding Victoria’s Secret is out: today, my high hopes were crushed by an overwhelming sense of mediocrity. The day was so bland...

How to break up with a classmate

Written by Aaron Barry, SFU Student So you’ve decided you’re done. His constant gaming and chronic lack of hygiene are just too much for you....

Dear grad admissions board: my failed courses are non-canon to my personal narrative

To Whom It May Concern, It is my great honour to recommend myself, Jake Jacksonian, for SFU’s Graduate Program in the Department of English. Yes,...

Oh, The Places You’ll Go (Before and After you Convocate)

Written by Jennifer Chou, SFU Student Oh, the places you’ll go! (Unless there is snow.) . . .  Congratulations on gradu-waiting, it only took you six years. From construction that’s...

A reading list of dark magical spellbooks for SFU students

Written by Lubaba Mahmud, Staff Writer As we ALL totally know for a fact, each SFU library has an entire restricted section of dark magical...

AQ Boyfriend: An SFU Dating Sim

Written by Winona Young, Features Editpr All you ever wanted from SFU was your degree. Maybe some dick, too, or perhaps a gondola. But by...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: October 7–October 13

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 The consequences of all your weird behaviour and cryptic glares these past weeks are finally...