Word on the Street: November 13, 2012

Q: Obama-rama is palpable in the streets as Barack Obama is re-elected to serve a second presidential term. Thoughts?             “Hooray, I was important.” Ohio 7th largest state             “I’m...

The “maintenance of the last shred of dignity” contract of 2012

Drafted by the Committee Against the Walk of Shame We, the undersigned, do solemnly swear to abide by the following terms and conditions: Section 1 (Relating...

Petter Watch: November 13th, 2012

Petter decides, “Fuck it” and just changes his SFU e-mail. 

Disney to buy out your entire childhood

Disney concocts their most evil scheme since The Return of Jafar By Gary Lim Space Mountaineer Shocking news came from Disney Corporation after a confidential memo from...

Ski Ninjas: Breakfast Cereal

By Kyle Lees at The Daily Snooze

Picket Line Cheat Codes

  Can’t find the blue key that unlocks that damn picketline? Tired of having to grind outside the Highland to grind inside the Highland? TSSU...

The Daily Snooze: Denominator

By Jacob Samuel at The Daily Snooze

Ani-malaproprisms #1: Parliament of Owls

By Gary Lim and Eleanor Qu

Staying Sharp: Tips for running for the president.

By Colin Sharp Layout by April Alayon Photos by Mark Burnham Power. You know you want it. And what greater power is there than being the commander...

How to eat a banana non-sexually: A handy guide.

1. Do not make eye contact with anyone, and do not fully close eyes when biting into the banana. 2. The banana must move towards your...