By: Ashi, Multiverse 538.10.1.4’s top-grossing divinator
How long will this government survive? Read on to find out! Remember to follow my TikTok for exclusive digital...
By: Sasha Rubick, SFU Student
It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday, cloudy, and campus is deserted. The commuter students fled home yesterday, and the Burnaby...
By: Zainab Salam, Opinions Editor
Jess: a fourth-year student, burdened by ambition and Wi-Fi issues.
Advisor: a keeper of bureaucratic riddles, and a destroyer of hopes...
By: Ashima Shukla, Staff Writer and Mason Mattu, Humour Editor
Dear Peakie,
Where have you been?? We haven’t seen you since, like, February? It seems as...
By: Persephone Alexander, Your CEO’s Underpaid Secretary
Subject: Brewing Change Together: A message from the heart of your dear CEO
Dear Starbucks Partners (and soon to...
By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Investigator
The following is a satirical and fictional commentary.
Oh boy, do we have some juicy tea for you. Have you ever...
By: Heidi Kwok, Staff Writer
BREAKING NEWS — Mariah Carey, the official “Queen of Christmas,” is refusing to defrost. The beloved American singer, best known...
By: Matthew Cullings, SFU Student
Her name was Joy Johnson,
Spent SFU’s money without precaution,
While every elevator on the mountain was stoppin’,
That’s OK, she’s was online...
