By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik

If you’ve taken some time to explore around SFU, you’ve likely stumbled upon the reflecting pond. This aquatic tapestry is home to many creatures, including koi fish, herons, and even the occasional automobile. The Peak sat down with Steven C. Gull, a local resident, to get the scoop on what life at the pond is truly like.

Please note that this interview has been edited for concision and abundance of squawking. 

Can you start by introducing yourself? Who are you, and how long have you lived at the pond?

“You can call me Steve. I’ve been around for about five years now, but I just officially moved into the pond full-time. I recently wrapped up my English degree here at SFU. I’m a big fan of the classics, you know — Frankenseagull,  A Christmas CarGull, A Tale of Two Seagulls, those kinds of things.”

What brought you to SFU?

“I grew up about two hours from here as the gull flies. When it came time for university, I wanted to leave the nest and see the world — plus I heard that SFU had a great selection of stray french fries and various bugs. Since graduating, my parents have kind of just been bankrolling me while I try to get my new original screenplay picked up. Listen, it’s not easy being a creative. That’s actually part of the reason I moved down here to the pond from the roof of the library. I needed to get away from all those comforts and really reconnect with nature. My story is about a young crow who falls in love with a robin, but their families have this whole feud thing going on and yada yada . . . I won’t spoil the ending for you. It’s an original plot, one of a kind.

“I thought about migrating down to LA, because my buddy Jonathan Livingston has some connections around there, and he said he could hook me up. But I just couldn’t leave the pond like that. I mean, what can I say? It’s home.”

And you’ve lived here for how long?

“Well, technically, it’s been only two days. I would’ve gone earlier, but I needed the movers to bring in my portable sauna and my cruelty-free, ethically sourced latte espresso machine. Because I’m chill like that. Just the essentials, you know?”

So, how are you liking the pond so far?

“It’s good man, no complaints. Well, maybe just one little thing. I like to get up early and take a dip to start my mornings. It’s supposed to be good for the brain and body, gets the juices flowing. So, the other day, I had my earbuds in and was listening to NPR’s Wait Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me! You know, I love Peter Seagull. Great host. Anyways, I get in for a quick plunge and all of a sudden I bump into this koi fish out of nowhere. Totally messes with my vibe. So I tell him like, ‘C’mon dude, I’m clearly doing something important here.’ 

“Next thing I know he’s got this whole, ‘Hey buddy, I’ve been doing the same commute for 20 years, just trying to get to work and keep my kids fed’ shtick. It’s like, some people really just don’t care about their community at all, you know? Anyways, I’m hoping they could maybe tear down some of these older spots around the pond and bring in something like a Whole Foods or a hot yoga studio. That would really fix things up.”

Thanks for taking the time to talk with us, Steve. Is there anything else you’d like to add?

“Yeah, just keep an eye out for when my new work, Romeo and Gulliet, drops. It’s going to be a real tearjerker.”