By: Petra Chase, Editor-in-Chief

There are a lot of reasons to appreciate the convenience of microwaves. But today I want to complain about the things no one ever talks about!

I get that a cooling fan is loud but needed for the microwave to work, but why do microwaves also have to make such loud clicking noises to open and close? And why do the buttons need to be so loud?

Can you imagine if every appliance in your house required multiple loud beeps for using it? I don’t want to hear about the psychology of aural feedback, I just want you to imagine your toaster announcing click-blip-blip-bloop-click-hummmm-DING DING DING to the whole house when you’re having your 2:00 a.m. toast. Some things are just meant to be inconspicuous.

And don’t get me started on the “popcorn” button. Why does every single microwave have this button when popcorn bags all say “Don’t use the popcorn button?” Do the popcorn companies have beef with microwaves I’m not aware of?

Speaking of beef, you know what no one ever talks about? The fact that shared microwaves always have some mysterious splatter inside them that no one cleaned up because there’s no accountability for shared appliances. I prefer to reheat my food on the stove in a clean pot than in this sensory nightmare of a box that’s zapping an unknown substance into it.