By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer
Spring is in the air! Or is it? The first nice day of the year brings all the winter hibernators to the beach, frolicking around like vampires who haven’t seen the sun for six months. Among the mass of sun seekers are those sporting “the first sunny day” attire from one extreme to the other.
On one hand, you have the overly eager sun-lovers, desperate to soak up some rays. They show off their skin in shorts and T-shirts, fully accessorized with massive sweat stains because they clearly didn’t layer on enough deodorant. Amateurs. Clearly, they’ve forgotten how to prepare for the heat. On the other hand, you have those who are still hesitant about the sun and don’t believe the weather forecast if their life depended on it. These people are still clad in thick pants, big sweaters, and, if you’re lucky, you’ll see the odd individual sporting a puffer jacket (hopefully vegan!) with a toque. They just can’t let it go.
The out-of-towners are either showing off their sun attire because they’re from a climate gravely colder than here, or they’re wearing layer upon layer of thermo, heat-conducting clothing because they think a nice 20-degree spring day is absolutely freezing. There’s really no in-between. Let me tell ya, you can spot an out-of-towner from a mile away just by their choice of attire. They stand out like a blazing ray of sun beaming down and radiating across town.
What an absolute view it really is to people-watch on such a fine day. Talk about some fine, radiating entertainment! I mean, you’ve got the people who are year-round beach-goers, those who forgot the water even existed, those who are clearly slithering away from the sun like a groundhog who’s seen his shadow, and then those who are so elated by it they forget how many hours they’ve spent outside and frantically search for extra sunscreen they don’t have.
If you’re looking for some high-class entertainment, look no further than any Vancouver beach on a fine spring day. So, you’re an introvert? That’s fine! Take up residence on one of those benches or lay a blanket on the sand and keep to yourself. You’re an extrovert? Don’t worry, the beach has you covered. Just go make friends with some random stranger’s dog and you’re good to go. You love crowded spaces? Oh, my god, let me tell ya, the beach is the perfect place for you on a hot, sun-shining spring afternoon! You hate crowded spaces? Oh, don’t worry, you can nestle yourself in some little corner on the edge of the sand and watch all the happenings of the day as the passers-by entertain you with their vast outfit options and booming genre-wide playlists.
Seriously, what’s not to love about cramming onto the local beaches, squished like sardines, when you’re not even there to take a dip in the water? Unless, of course, you’re one of those polar-plunging aficionados and a mild spring splash in the Pacific doesn’t even faze you. In that case, thanks for your unintentional bout of entertainment from the shoreline. There’s nothing quite like the view of all the unexpected sights to be seen on a fine spring day at the beach. Fret not — this is just Vancouver’s first prank of the season. Soon we’ll be headed into second winter, followed by a downpour of April showers that won’t even let the May flowers bloom. So, to all the unprepared beach bums, enjoy your nice, sweaty, chaos-blazed, and overly-crowded beach day that’ll really pack a punch.
