Five Zoom backgrounds for the new semester

PHOTO: Alex Masse / The Peak

By: Alex Masse, Staff Writer

With online school continuing its reign — and potentially outlasting Putin’s — it’s high time we spice up our Zoom calls. What better way than the custom background feature? Here are five potential backgrounds to give your Zoom self an extra . . . je ne sais quoi. Because hey, we’re still stuck inside. Let’s try for some pity laughs from our equally miserable peers.

  1. A forest, so you can pretend you’re going outside

(PHOTO: Lukasz Szmigiel / Unsplash) 

Remember the great outdoors? I do, hazily. It went on forever. There were trees and other wild things. You could pick flowers, and catch bugs, and do all the things we do in, like, Animal Crossing. But it’s real. Who knew they made Animal Crossing a real thing? Just remember to bundle up and pack bug spray. You can’t respawn if a deadly bug lunges at you out here.

2. A SPOOKIER forest, so you can pretend you’re going outside but with a bit of angst

(PHOTO: Simon Wijers / Unsplash) 

Did 2020’s quarantine transform you into someone unrecognizable through radical haircuts, dye jobs, and wacky little stick-and-pokes? Are you radical and hardcore now? Boy, do I have the background for you! Show your peers that you’re a little ~artsy~ in the best possible way. But still, bundle up, and maybe bring some bug spray. Not that it’ll protect you from the things in these woods.

3. This cat tapestry heirloom 

(PHOTO: Alex Masse / The Peak

So, a few years back, my grandmother mailed me this lovely cat tapestry for my birthday. It’s faithfully guarded my bookshelf ever since. Lately, though, I think it wants more. I think it wants to be seen. Will you do it the honour of spreading its holy gospel? 

4. An Among Us background, so people know you’re out of this world!

(PHOTO: Courtesy of Pericror) 

Few things climb the ranks of pop culture’s consciousness like Among Us has, but apparently people really resonated with this intergalactic version of Mafia. With this background, you can make as many jokes about Impostor Syndrome as you want, and people won’t know if you mean that you’re insecure, wish you were being ejected out an airlock, or are planning a mass sabotage! Why not all three at once? Your head might even look like it’s being sucked into the void if you have dark hair!

5. The astral plane, because you simply aren’t even here 

(PHOTO: Jake Weirick / Unsplash) 

So, we aren’t physically meeting anymore. You’re on the fifth entry about Zoom backgrounds, so I’m sure you’ve noticed. But what if you’re not here on a physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual level? If your last brain cell has left this plane of existence, this is the background for you. Happy ascension. 

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