By: Edna Batengas, Ana Maria Mejia Morales, and Neil MacAlister
“Bebe” – Nana Fofie
Edna Batengas: Oh Bebe! Right from the start I knew I’d love this one. Never heard of Nana Fofie, but I’m definitely downloading this song RIGHT NOW.
Ana Maria Mejia Morales: Boring. Generic. Nana sings the same song we’ve all heard.
Neil MacAlister: This is just begging for a Drake remix.
“Beautiful Trauma” – P!nk
EB: I think P!nk is an incredibly strong and beautiful person inside and out. Her music has seen me through so many of the highs and lows that life throws at you. And this song is just the icing on the cake. I freakin’ love this song
AMMM: This song reminds me of my junior high years. If I was going through my adolescence, this is the song that I would play when pondering about life.
NM: P!nk is never, ever going to get old. This is just great to listen to. She’s never stopped making good pop music.
“Thinkin’” – Miley Cyrus
EB: Eyy, keep the great tracks coming, Miley. I think she’s finally reached the level of agency that we have all been waiting for. Keep it up, Miley.
AMMM: Miley is bloody amazing! What a voice! What talent! She starts a little bit pop-y, but then she takes you by the hand and shows you her raw talent.
NM: God, country Miley is boring. This is seriously insufferable.
“Mean Demeanor” – Run the Jewels
EB: This is nice. I personally would not intentionally listen to this, but it’s pretty good.
AMMM: The intro is 40 seconds long. That was when I realized this song would not work for me. It’s Skrillex rap. I quickly changed this anxious track.
NM: RTJ can’t go wrong at this point. They’re an absolutely unstoppable force (Mike more so than El-P on this one, though). This beat is a monster, and Trackstar is killing it with the scratches.
“It’s a Shame” – First Aid Kit
EB: Meh, not much of a fan of this one. I mean, the vocals are alright and all, but not my cup of tea.
AMMM: This is kinda old school. Their vocals are interesting. Did you know they are a Swedish folk group? Well no, Google, I did not know that useless fact. It’s a mix of country and folk. Enjoy.
NM: I’m getting Carol King/Fleetwood Mac vibes off this. This is so anachronistic. Nostalgia to the max, I’m into it.
“Greedy Soul” – Liam Gallagher
EB: This lacks originality, and I swear that I’ve heard dozens of songs that sound exactly like this one. Bye-bye, Liam.
NM: I wasn’t expecting too much out of Liam Gallagher in 2017, but this was actually alright. Solid Brit pop.
“Girl Crush” – Harry Styles
EB: I’m sorry, Harry, I really do like you, like A LOT, but PLEASE leave this song alone. The original was way better.
AMMM: I like this. This is a cover done right, where the singer is making it his own version. Yes, I approve. Always good, Styles.
NM: I’ve never heard the original, but I really don’t like this. I think he’s trying to go for that Elliott Smith, sad singer-songwriter vibe, and it doesn’t work for him. But I really don’t like Harry Styles in general.
“İçimde Ölen Biri” – Can Gox
EB: Oh damn, don’t know what he’s saying, but it sounds hella passionate.
AMMM: I really wanna know what he is saying. What language is this? Turkish perhaps? Yes, nailed it. Thanks, Google.
NM: This sounds like if Nick Cave recorded the Godfather soundtrack in Turkish, if that makes any sense.
“Skrt Skrt” – Tory Lanez
EB: I only have good things to say about this one. Like, come on guys, it’s Tory Lanez. I’m not really sure what “Skrt Skrt” implies but OK, Tory, I’ll let this one slide.
AMMM: I like this. It’s chill, good background music. It kinda reminds me of Justin Bieber.
NM: If you’re going to listen to a song called “Skrt Skrt,” listen to 21 Savage’s. This is a pretty lacklustre effort from Tory.
“Mi Gente” – J Balvin, Willy William, Beyoncé
EB: I find this beat nauseating and incredibly annoying.
AMMM: This is reggaeton which is never good, per se, but it’s the best thing to party to. Beyoncé released this song to help the people of Mexico and Puerto Rico, both Latino nations who recently suffered from natural disasters. Profits will go to charities. I also think Americans just realized they were not profiting from the huge Hispanic community in the States, so are now all singing in Spanish.
NM: Remember when everyone praised Justin Bieber for his excellent Spanish on “Despacito”? Beyoncé just absolutely showed him up. This is predictably fantastic.
“Géopoétique” – MC Solaar
EB: Even though I can probably only understand 60% of what he’s saying, he can definitely get my number any day.
AMMM: FANTASTIC. It’s a sexy French song, but from the 21st century.
NM: Love me some avant-garde French rap. I’m getting some Zebra Katz vibes here.
“HUMBLE.” – Kendrick Lamar, Skrillex
EB: Hahaha, why does this remind me of that Rick Ross song? But nah, that’s a ‘no’ from me.
NM: This doesn’t get good until about two-thirds of the way through it, otherwise it’s just a pretty typical Skrillex remix. He’s honestly been proving himself as a pretty good producer lately, but there was no reason for this remix to happen.