Woohoo, Boohoo

Woohoo: Christmas Eve

Put aside the capitalist layer of gobbledygook that  often overshadows Christmas and admire what the penultimate hours of the Noël blitz really stands for: sharing a moment with loved ones and getting some much-needed time with the family. At the end of the day, it’s all that really matters. It’s about slowing things down and just taking a moment to be thankful for your health and the people around you that help make your life the lovely gift that it is.

The wonderful thing about the holiday season over the last few years is that it has lost its exclusivity. All walks of life are welcome to enjoy the celebration and make their own meaning out of the holiday in a way that fits their family’s values. And hell, if that isn’t worth raising the eggnog and rum up for toast in this jumbled and shook up world, I don’t know what is.

Boohoo: New Year’s Eve

As the drunken ensemble of people around you begin the countdown from five, it becomes ever more apparent to you that hosting a New Year’s Eve party was a catastrophic mistake. Five people are passed out in your bathroom drenched in the regurgitate combination of spinach dip and cotton candy vodka. Four types of liqueur have stained your upholsteries and have ruined your coffee table irreparably.

Three inebriated colleagues have tried to make out with you and have only succeeded in head-butting you and slicing your lip in two places. You have received two noise complaints and you’re about one police visit away from giving your landlord ample reason to kick your vociferous ass to the curb.

And to make matters worse, you are so wasted the room is spinning like your little brother’s Beyblade. Good luck trying to call in sick tomorrow — you’ll need nothing less than a gurney and toe tag to pull the wool over their eyes this time.

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