Confessions of an uninformed voter

Photo Credit: Momo Lin

We all know that one guy who seems to know nothing about politics; he’s also that guy who didn’t know that the Bloc Quebecois was a thing. Let’s face it, folks: uninformed voters infiltrate SFU’s halls. I am one of those people.

When asked who I’m voting for, I typically respond with: “Not Harper, that’s for sure!” Why not, though?

If you’re able to answer this question, then mega props to you. However, if you’re anything like me, you rebut with a quick “[insert non-Conservative party leader name] would be better.” Of course, here you’re able to get away with not answering the actual question, and then chime in a few facts you read off Vancity Buzz while waiting for your buddy’s Dubsmash video to load.

I couldn’t tell you why not to vote Conservative, except for all the money being put towards the military, too much unnecessary international involvement, Bill C-51, their position on climate change, Harper’s weird face, et cetera. If you’re still not convinced, I just discovered WhyNotHarper.ca, so do be sure to check that out.

Since I wouldn’t be voting for either Conservative (because, well, duh) or Green (because I want my vote to matter), I looked up the NDP and Liberal parties. My political leanings were initially 50/50, since political stance websites told me I was between both parties.

I applied to volunteer for both the NDP and Liberals. What I got from the NDP was a series of daily emails which stated things like, “the next 20 days will decide if we send Tom Mulcair to Ottawa as our next prime minister or if we’re stuck with another four years of Stephen Harper,” “we’ve got 19 days to go to defeat Stephen Harper,” and “our priority is to defeat Stephen Harper.”

Trudeau’s largest influence for me, though, is definitely his flowing flowing hair — [cough] I mean, his stances.

The countless emails I receive each day are not fun to read. Bro, like, here I am looking to volunteer my time, and here you are bashing my head in with these harsh vibes. Rather than focusing on what’s wrong with other parties, remind voters why they should be voting for you.

This reminds me of Mulcair’s nickname he earned as an MP: the Pitbull. I don’t want a Pitbull serving as my PM, thank you very much. Rapper Pitbull, on the other hand, with those stunner shades and bald head of his, would make an amazing leader. He is referred to as Mr. International, so we know he’ll implement excellent worldwide policies. Free booze for all — holla!

While my inbox floods itself with angry NDP mail, it smiles contentedly at the sole email received from Trudeau’s party. They simply thanked me for volunteering my time through an automated message. Then, I got a call the following day asking when I was able to meet my riding’s leader and what positions I could take.

This kind, relaxed approach was refreshing to see. Trudeau’s largest influence for me, though, is definitely his flowing flowing hair — [cough] I mean, his stances. He’s vowed to create more student jobs, to teach the youth of Canada about politics and voting, to amend Bill C-51, and to fund transit systems all across Canada.

So now, when I’m asked who I’ll vote for, I stand proud and respond bravely with: Justin Trudeau.

He’s a good man with kind eyes, I might add. He truly believes in Canada and its ability to develop where it needs to, and to sustain what’s already golden. I believe him when he says that he knows how to improve Canada by enacting real change. He seems realistic. He seems goal-oriented. He’s just, you know, ready.

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1 COMMENT

  1. I am glad the writer figured out who to vote for. If you aren’t as lucky as the writer, and still couldn’t decide between the four major parties, check out the independent candidates and candidates from the minor parties in your riding. They are underrepresented in the media and at candidates’ meetings, but they might just be the choice for you.