VANCOUVER — Capitalizing on the ever increasing number of specialty restaurants in the city, a new restaurant opened last week which is expected to take the city by storm by really setting its menu apart.
While Vancouver prides itself on its abundance of trendy vegan and vegetarian eateries, places that cater to specific diets, almost all of them have something that could appeal to anyone. The hippest new place in town, The Windbag, however, is expected to appeal to almost no one which could just make the next big sensation in local cuisine.
According to the owner, Alexander Conacher, The Windbag is a “breatharian” restaurant that caters to the lifestyle of those who shun all conventional foods and even water, believing humans can live and thrive on air and sunlight alone.
“Biting, chewing, swallowing; all the shallow mechanisms of eating only distract us from savouring the sweet taste of the universe,” Conacher told The Peak. “But even breatharians should still have a place where they can go out, socialize, and have a good time.”
While food and drinks are not served at The Windbag, all the essential amenities of the breatharian lifestyle are present.
The lighting is designed to be as close as possible to natural sunlight, in order to stimulate photosynthesis and tables are spread out so when patrons take their seats they aren’t accidentally breathing in their neighbours’ “meals.”
“We can serve hundreds of people a night because we don’t need to waste time cooking,” Conacher raved, happy to put in as little work as possible. “And all the money that we save on unnecessary plates and cutlery, we put into our state of the art air conditioning system. We even offer a full buffet; just pay at the front and we’ll setup a fan beside your table.”
“So, if you’re ever downtown and you’re looking for a nibble of fresh air, or you’re feeling “green” and just want a “light” snack, drop by at the place with the best “atmosphere” around!” Conacher said in promotion of The Windbag. “And if you don’t finish your meal, we’ll wrap it up in a balloon and you can enjoy your meal at home!”
