zach siddiqui
Student heals emotionally after falling asleep on bedspread at 2 a.m. in day clothes
August 11, 2020VANCOUVER, BC — This morning, an SFU student woke up completely emotionally stable. He had fallen asleep on top of his bed covers at 2:37 a.m., still dressed in his T-shirt, shorts, and favourite pair of American Eagle boxers. “I don’t really ‘choose’ when I sleep,” said Snow Rinking, a fourth year communication student with a philosophy minor. “I just use my bed as a multipurpose workstation, dining table, and rec room until the desire possesses me like in Jennifer’s Body.” Rinking reports an incredibly deep, good sleep in which he had no feelings or awareness of anyone or anything,…
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Man plays hide-and-go-seek with memories of times he was wrong
August 11, 2020VANCOUVER, BC — An SFU student has been sighted in the downtown core playing hide-and-go-seek. When asked who was “it,” he explained that he was trying and failing to track down his memories of the times in his life where…
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SFU researchers to map COVID-19 vulnerability throughout BC
July 27, 2020An SFU-based research team of professors and graduate students will be looking at the communities in BC most vulnerable to COVID-19. Headed by Dr. Valorie Crooks and Dr. Nadine Schuurman, this project will visually map these communities to offer key…
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Student boosts house party’s cred by changing COVID-19’s Facebook status to “going”
July 23, 2020PORT MOODY, BC — In hopes of drawing an upper-class crowd to her illicit house party, a student at SFU logged into her Facebook event and switched COVID-19’s status from “invited” to “going.” “It’s really important that people know exactly…
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Correct mask fit is key, says SFU study on masks and facial hair
July 22, 2020In a study on facial hair and face masks, SFU researchers have found that beardless faces are slightly better protected than bearded ones — but that the overall factor in protection for any face is securing the right fit. “If you…
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Two SFU professors receive $300,000 grants from Innovate BC
July 15, 2020Two SFU professors have been awarded $300,000 each in grant money through Innovate BC’s Ignite Program, out of four total winners. Dr. Martin Ester, a computing science professor, won the award for his collaboration with Terramera on a new computer…
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Alumnus “isn’t passionate” about current shampoo brand, regrets not switching it before graduating
July 14, 2020Recently, a Vancouver-based university graduate took to Facebook to describe his regrets about the life choices he pursued during his bachelor’s. “I just graduated from SFU with honours, and after some heavy self-reflection, I know now that I have no…
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Student loses house keys somewhere inside dense course reading
July 6, 2020VANCOUVER, BC — On Monday, Texas Boxerbatte, a third-year English student at SFU, found himself locked out of his home after dropping his house keys somewhere in the depths of his 150 pages of readings for the week. “I was…
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Friends social distance by walking in giant “body walls” occupying whole sidewalk
July 5, 2020VANCOUVER, BC — An increasing number of Vancouverites are keeping contact to a minimum by forming “body walls” as they walk down the street, repelling others who might approach. “No one will bother coming near us if we destroy all…
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The five love languages of Canvas
July 5, 2020Trouble in remote paradise? Can’t find happiness in your lifelong commitment? Fret no more. If you and Canvas just can’t communicate with one another, there’s a simple possibility: you don’t know your Canvas love language! Look to these five Gary…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]