Satire

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Writer gets article published in The Peak

EIC September 8, 2014

Max Hill, a communications student currently studying at Simon Fraser University, recently had this very article published in the humour section of The Peak, the school’s student newspaper. Hundreds of students have since read this article, and reception has been uniformly positive. “I can’t even express how grateful I am,” Hill told The Peak. “I mean, I’ve thought about writing for the humour section forever, but I just never had the confidence [. . .] I’m glad I did. I’m on top of the world right now.” Hill thanked his mother for always encouraging him, as well as the many…

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2 min 0 1275

Nuclear missile codes leaked in botched nude celebrity photo hack attempt

EIC September 8, 2014

Inspired by last week’s infamous leaked photos of dozens of Hollywood’s top actresses, a new hack attempt of Google Drive almost caused further damage; fortunately, all that was compromised were the US’ top-secret nuclear launch codes. The unknown Google Drive…

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2 min 1 1063

Male teen confused by girl who actually came over to just watch a movie

EIC September 8, 2014

A Coquitlam teen has been left frustrated and confused after his crush agreed to watch a movie at his place, then proceeded to not make out with him. “It doesn’t make any sense,” Derek Tanner told The Peak, immediately following…

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2 min 0 913

Previously home-schooled student shocks new classmates by being totally normal

EIC September 2, 2014

Students of Mrs. Jamieson’s Grade Seven class were shocked to learn that the new girl, Susan Barns, who was once described by her classmates as “perfectly normal,” had in fact been home-schooled for most of her young life. Barns, 12,…

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3 min 2 2057

Solo Cup of lukewarm tap water declared most powerful sanitizing agent in the world

EIC September 2, 2014

In a move that could very well change the way in which humans deal with sanitation and sterilization, attendees of a Tight and Bright party last week have discovered the most efficient, fast-acting way of killing nearly every trace of…

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