Max Hill, a communications student currently studying at Simon Fraser University, recently had this very article published in the humour section of The Peak, the school’s student newspaper. Hundreds of students have since read this article, and reception has been uniformly positive.

“I can’t even express how grateful I am,” Hill told The Peak. “I mean, I’ve thought about writing for the humour section forever, but I just never had the confidence [. . .] I’m glad I did. I’m on top of the world right now.” Hill thanked his mother for always encouraging him, as well as the many students who help to make The Peak one of Canada’s student newspapers.

According to Hill, he has been considering ideas for his first humour article for several semesters, but none of those panned out. “I had an idea for a story where SFU became infested by rabid grizzly bears, but — I mean, it’s been done before, right?” Hill also noted he wanted to write a story about a writer for The Peak interviewing himself, but dismissed this idea as “too meta.”

Recently hired humour editor Jacey Gibb similarly expressed elation at Hill’s first contribution to the paper’s section. “It’s just a really strong article,” Gibb told The Peak. “I mean, I get a lot of submissions for this section, so I have to be picky when I’m choosing what to put in the paper. But Max’s article just blew me away.” Gibb declined to comment on whether this article would be Hill’s last, but noted, “I sure hope not — I don’t want to have to write the whole section myself!”

After surveying a group of Peak readers across SFU’s Burnaby campus, the consensus seems to be that Hill’s piece was definitely “an article” and “published in this week’s issue.” Some students were even seen giggling politely while reading this piece, and others still were heard remarking to themselves that the central idea was “clever.”

Hill seemed unsurprised by these reactions. “I’m a pretty clever person,” he said. “I mean, that’s what my mom always says.” When contacted by The Peak, Hill’s mother declined to comment.

So, what’s next for Hill? When asked, he seemed hesitant to submit more articles like this one to the humour section. “I’ve been thinking about doing a follow-up story, but I’m not sure what it would be,” he said. “I mean, I don’t want to overdo the joke, right? That would just be annoying.”

For those looking to read this article, you already have.