Kyla Dowling
“I can’t wait for this year to end!” says student who thinks the pandemic will randomly stop because of an arbitrary date
November 29, 2020In a few brief weeks, it will be 2021, and we all know what that means. The minute the clock strikes midnight on New Years’ Eve — but like, specifically midnight where I am because the world is centred around me — peace and balance will be restored to the world. It’ll be like when Avatar Aang defeated the Firelord. (He was totally a Libra by the way.) “But Kyla,” you ask me, “how will this work? How will we regain peace and balance when there’s a global pandemic, murder hornets, white supremacists, and — the worst of all —…
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Dear Peakie
November 22, 2020Dear Peakie, I’m graduating in Spring 2021 and I don’t know how to start looking for a career! Sincerely, Your Next LinkedIn Network Request Hey Your Next LinkedIn Network Request! Firstly, don’t add me on LinkedIn. The idea of being…
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“I understand these are trying times,” says the professor making the times trying
November 9, 2020Subject Line: Paper now due Tuesday From: [email protected] To: AHH 101 (All Sections) Date: November 5, 3:33 a.m. Students, Many of you have asked for an extension on the 14-page organometallic chemistry paper due on Monday at 11:59 p.m., citing…
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Student believes they left last scrap of serotonin underneath the rainbow parachute in grade three gym class
November 4, 2020I remember that day so clearly. Fourth period meant that it was time for gym class. Normally, I’d be nauseous from the anxiety of playing dodgeball against the eight-year-old Olympians, but our teacher opted to lead us outside, instead. Who…
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Your Halloween Horrorscopes
October 27, 2020Aries: You just had to ask, “how could 2020 get any worse?” Now, we’re looking at a year-end zombie apocalypse thanks to your cynicism. Why pay for therapy to be told you’re “a threat to society” when you could just…
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U.S. presidential debate formats that would have gone better than what happened on September 29
October 18, 2020I know what you’re thinking: what the flag-thumping-fuck was that Trump-Biden debate? There’s nothing worse than chugging tequila thinking “oh, this might be easier to sit through if I make it a drinking game,” only to realize as you’re driven…
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Among Us is amongst the most relatable games for SFU students
October 12, 2020If online school taught me anything (not that I’m too sure it has) it’s how to be antisocial and how to procrastinate. What better way to utilize both these life skills than with Among Us, the game that promises betrayal…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]