Kyla Dowling
QUIZ: What will your first post-COVID romance be?
February 14, 2021It’s been the topic of your dreams, daydreams, and occasionally your nightmares, but it’s fine because fear is an aphrodisiac: what will your first love affair in a post-pandemic world be like? As vaccine rollouts continue and people slowly learn not to take off their mask when sneezing, you’ll soon be able to hit a frat boy’s Juul with only the risk of getting mono. By analyzing your fatal flaw, your last sexual experience, and more, we will determine exactly what your first post-COVID romance will be. Question 1: If you were a vampire, what kind of vampire would you…
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Melania Trump does not deserve a redemption arc
February 11, 2021Since the Trumps’ glorious eviction from the White House, a lot has changed. Dogs are in the White House again, Biden has reversed the transgender military ban, but for some strange reason, people are still trying to defend Melania Trump.…
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Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: February 8–14
February 8, 2021Aries: It’s frustrating to know that people are too cowardly to admit that they’ve been madly in love with you for years. Take action into your own hands. DM your exes, your best friend’s dad, that one kid from your…
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SFU-inspired cocktails to drown your university-related sorrows
February 1, 2021CW: Mentions of blood, mental health The Midterm Season An iced-coffee inspired cocktail that is basically a $9 Starbucks drink with pizazz AKA an illegal amount of caffeine Ingredients: A handful of caffeine pills, crushed Two handfuls of Brain Boost,…
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Senate Report: January 11, 2021
January 29, 2021Pass/credit/no credit grading implemented for elective courses The SFU Senate agreed to allow the option of pass/credit/no credit (P/CR/NC) grading for courses outside of a student’s major. This system is a pilot program to be put in place for the…
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How quarantine has completely destroyed my socialization skills
January 25, 2021I can’t leave people on read IRL? (Madeleine) I think I realized that human interaction isn’t for me anymore when I said “LOL” out loud, forgetting that, no, I’m not reacting to yet another pandemic meme that my aunt sent…
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The haunting of all the books I have bought but never read: a memoir
January 23, 2021I can feel them watching me. The clown on the cover of It by Stephen King, the main character of Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina . . . Their eyes follow me as I enter my room. I pick up all…
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Victims’ statements should be believed
January 11, 2021CW: Discussion of sexual assault, rape, policy brutality. In 2019, I sat in a room at the police station and told an officer about my sexual assault. “Why didn’t you report this sooner?” he asked me. I said…
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Your Weekly Horoscopes Jan. 11–15
January 10, 2021Aries: You just don’t feel alive anymore, Aries. After learning every routine on Just Dance and burning the polaroids of everyone who wronged you in 2020, you need more spice. My recommendation? Get a COVID-19 test just to feel something…
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The perfect stocking stuffers for your loved one going through a quarter-life crisis
November 30, 2020As the snow falls, we too fall under the weight of the self-awareness of Christmas and its exploitative, capitalistic nature hidden behind a happy bearded man in red. Are you crying into your overpriced emotional support holiday throw pillow already?…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]