Humour

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Study shows that SFU sustainability efforts are causing raccoon snacking habitats to disappear

EIC January 5, 2015

A new study from Burnaby Mountain’s Rural Animal Welfare Report (RAWR) is warning that, unless the university takes action against their existing Zero Waste program, snacking habitats for raccoons may soon disappear completely. The Zero Waste Initiative, which was implemented at Simon Fraser in 2011, is a program dedicated towards reducing the amount of SFU’s garbage being sent to the landfill. Instead, Zero Waste employs four separate bins to help divide trash into either “mixed paper,” “recyclables,” “food scraps and compostables,” and “landfill garbage,” deterring part of the university’s waste output. According to the SFU Sustainability Strategic Plan, the objective…

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4 min 0 1277

How to make your very own Oscar-bait movie script

EIC January 5, 2015

Awards season has arrived at your friendly neighbourhood 12-theatre Cineplex Odeon. After trudging through months of cash-grab sequels and movies Adam Sandler probably conceived while sitting on the toilet, there’s finally something out there worth pirating. Have you ever dreamed…

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1 min 0 1173

These Internet security questions are getting ridiculous

EIC January 5, 2015

What is your mother’s mother’s mother’s maiden name? Which Baldwin brother — aside from Alec and Adam — would you sleep with if you absolutely had to? In detail, describe your perfect crime. At what age did you stop wetting…

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3 min 1 1428

Tony Hawk officially announces his endorsement of the Kinder Morgan half-pipeline

EIC November 24, 2014

Amidst a sea of protesters and environmental activists this week, skateboarding icon Tony Hawk has publicly announced that he is in favour of the proposed half-pipeline extension through Burnaby Mountain. If approved, the Kinder Morgan half-pipeline will be the largest…

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1 min 0 1000

The week in comics

EIC November 24, 2014

  The Adventures of Agoraphobia Man: World Defender (Jacey Gibb) Pun 2 3 (Sarah Walker) Pros and cons, according to your status in post-secondary (Evgeny Vinnik)

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3 min 0 1092

Gift cards, crisp $20 bills top this season’s list of most wanted gifts

EIC November 24, 2014

With Christmas still over a month away, the crunch is already on for some people trying to get their holiday shopping done before crowds take over the mall. Though data is still emerging on what retail items will be the…

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3 min 0 1045

Let’s throw a 90s teen movie party

EIC November 24, 2014

Let’s do it.  Let’s throw a 90s teen movie party. This will be our last chance to throw one. Maybe we’re all graduating from high school and going off to college soon; maybe we’re graduating from college and we’ll have…

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1 min 0 1118

In a first for mankind…

EIC November 24, 2014

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2 min 0 1115

HUMOUR: Letter to the Editor

Peak Web November 17, 2014

Dear The Peak, A problem has recently come to my attention that I feel compelled to bring up with your readership. As a respectable individual and a member in good-standing with the community, I am asking people to please stop…

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2 min 0 1164

Six things only people who can read at a seventh grade level will understand

EIC November 17, 2014

We’ve all been there before. You’re talking to a friend’s younger sibling or at your job working with kids when that awkward moment hits: you realize they’re still in elementary school and haven’t even begun to think about taking grade…

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