HUMOUR
Loan out your life
March 11, 2019Written by: Gabrielle McLaren, Features Editor “Hello dearie.” A goblin simpers at you from behind a counter constructed from bones. You've travelled too far into the bank to turn back now. The goblin's smile tightens, like a noose around your neck. “You need something desperately, don't you?” Too nervous to talk, you simply nod, knowing instinctively this goblin before you is none other than Rumpelstiltskin. Innocent as he looks, you know that he has destroyed countless lives and dreams and could, with a snap of his fingers, shatter every bone in your body. “Everyone does,” he says. “The question is,…
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Procrastination Methods Report
March 8, 2019By: Mishaa Khan, Peak Associate Number 1: Cleaning fiasco Materials Needed: Messy room, nachos, cleaning supplies, Netflix account, and clumsy hands Time Wasted: 2-5 hours Scenario: Complain about how your messy room doesn’t allow you to be productive, and…
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Dear Diary: Treacherous tales from the bus
March 6, 2019By: Jennifer Low, Peak Associate Dear Diary, The early arrival of the 145 bus at Production Way-University SkyTrain Station signaled a promising start to our journey. With no other busses in sight, we were met with the annoyed glares of many…
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All the places I’ve never been!
March 6, 2019By: Trevor Roberts, Peak Associate Another Reading Break has come and gone and you did absolutely nothing the entire time. Don’t think your entire break is lost though. You can still make yourself look cool with just one word: deception.…
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Extraordinary Student Homes
March 5, 2019By: Hannah Davis, Staff Writer Here at The Peak, we were lucky enough to have been given tours of some of the most incredible student homes in Vancouver. The following are true experiences of renters in the area, exposing the…
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Meditate your way out of SFU
February 20, 2019By: MaxWell Gawlick, Peak Associate Every exhausted student has heard the typical “You just need to sleep more!” from people who have left and forgotten what university life is really like. SFU does recognize that mental health is important and…
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Leaked memo reveals inter-faculty due date stacking conspiracy
February 20, 2019By: Trevor Roberts, Peak Associate Burnaby Campus, 9:03am SFU students are up in arms after an anonymous whistle-blower leaked a memo sent to professors, definitively proving what was once regarded as a baseless conspiracy theory. Professors in every SFU faculty…
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How To: Get rid of student sickness
February 19, 2019By: Tiffany Chang, Peak Associate Do you have student fever? Throughout the never-ending intensity of everyday student life, with lectures, procrastinated paper research, long bus lineups, and deciding if you have time to pee before tutorial when you’re already late,…
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SFU at the Oscars
February 19, 2019By: Jennifer Low, Peak Associate Glorious artsy black-and-white shots of the Images Theatre . . . Slow-mo, panoramic drone footage of SFU’s construction . . . The combined effort of profs, students, TAs, directors, and other cast and crew have…
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Foolproof ways to cheat on your midterms!
February 18, 2019By: Alannah Wallace, Peak Associate University is hard. Why put in the time studying when you PAY to be here. Don’t worry, I have done some research and found a few foolproof ways for you to cheat on those pesky…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]