HUMOUR
Ways to improve your club’s Halloween mixer, based on science
October 25, 2015Recent findings by the world’s top social scientists have concluded that the best way to have a “spooktacular” and “creeperific” Halloween party is to carefully engineer a series of absurd experiences and pair them with an unsettling, traumatizing environment. You can’t argue with science. The first scientific step towards creating a spooky atmosphere is to defy attendees’ expectations. Instead of greeting people and informing them of the night’s activities, you want information available prior to be minimal and slightly confusing. This will help establish a dark and mysterious setting for the mixer, where no one knows anyone else or what’s…
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A slacker’s guide to being lazy
October 19, 2015Lazy people of the world, my dear comrades: we all know the struggle of getting by while suffering from severe laziness. Indeed, lazy people are quite possibly the demographic that experiences the most prejudice and flak in their day-to-day lives.…
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The erotic life of an English Student Union executive
October 19, 2015When asked what being vice-president of the English Student Union (ESU) entails, I normally launch into a tired, boring spiel about student involvement. But beneath that blither-blather is an erotic truth I hold back for fear of it sensuously overcoming…
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Laugh Track: Jessica Delisle and Alicia Tobin
October 19, 2015If you’ve ever worked in retail, you’ve had a retail nightmare. That’s the belief held by musician Jessica Delisle and comedian Alicia Tobin, two artists living in Vancouver and “co-ghosts” of one of the funniest podcasts around, Retail Nightmares. Join…
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HUMOUR: TSSU furthers job action by locking students in tutorial rooms until demands have been met
September 28, 2015Starting last Monday, in a surprising move by the Teaching Support Staff Union (TSSU), teaching assistants began locking students inside of tutorial rooms in a way to further negotiations with the SFU Board of Governors. The TSSU has been on…
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The horrifying reality behind your pumpkin spice
September 28, 2015If an ethical crisis occurs at roughly the same time each year, and no one chooses to address it, does that crisis make a sound? Close the other tabs on your Internet browser, put your phone on silent, and tell…
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HUMOUR: Tech-challenged SFU professors to take mandatory workshop this spring semester
September 28, 2015There are many whimsical constants in the academic microcosm that is SFU; little idiosyncrasies which help make our engaged university the scholastic paradise we have all come to love. Whether it is the watered-down Starbucks coffee atop Burnaby Mountain or…
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HUMOUR: Planned Parenthood has funding pulled out
September 28, 2015On September 18, the American House of Representatives voted to defund Planned Parenthood for one year, in order to investigate alleged wrong-doings. For those of you unfamiliar with the organization, Planned Parenthood is one of the largest murder clinics currently…
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Laugh Track: Bita Joudaki and Christine Bortolin
September 21, 2015Have you heard of this thing called “the Internet”? It’s the way of the future, and it’s helped change the way some comedians stretch their funny bones. Take Bita Joudaki and Christine Bortolin, for example. Both are rooted in the…
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“We apologize for the accidental police raid on what was revealed to be just a neighbourhood sex dungeon”
September 21, 2015Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, for attending this press conference on such short notice. There’s been a lot of chatter and rumours circulating on social media, and we figured it was better to address the recent events directly than have…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]