Elon Musk
HIRING: Seeking law professional skilled in clownery
January 20, 2026Bozo & Bubbles Law Group We are hiring — Professional lawyer clown Our client, Elon Musk, is engaged in a dynamic lawsuit with former business partner and current OpenAI CEO Sam Altman over the development of OpenAI. Our client claims that this anti-Musk establishment is becoming a for-profit monopoly — the exact opposite of the moral claims OpenAI was built on. We are seeking a top-notch Litigation Associate, specifically with a specialty in the art of clownery, to join our fast-paced dynamite team, who work tirelessly to maintain this very bold lawsuit. The role involves working closely with Musk in…
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“I fucking quit,” announces Mr. Monopoly
April 3, 2025Editor’s note: The Pawn obtained this letter via time travel through a portal gun we discovered in our games closet. Dear valued constituents, I write to you at the dawn of the year 3000 to make a very important announcement.…
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Moooooom, Mark is trying to overshadow me again!
July 25, 2023Somewhere in the world, a vocal misogynist takes a break from tweeting about spaceships to call his mommy. No, Mom, I’m not going to do the breathing exercises you sent me the other day; I’m going to fight him! Yes,…
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Twitter is beginning a new era and not everyone is in for it.
November 27, 2022Wait, what’s happening on Twitter? Elon finally finished the transaction to buy Twitter seemingly against his will and became its CEO. It’s only been a couple of weeks and it seems as though everything with the app and the company…
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Social media platforms need censorship
November 24, 2022Social media companies don’t owe you unmoderated speech. While Elon Musk galvanizes his fanbase into believing content moderation is tyranny, most tech companies have caught onto the fact that no one really wants a platform free from censorship. I’m not…
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Elon Musk does not need your defense
November 24, 2022If you’ve been on Twitter the last two weeks, you bore witness to Elon Musk reducing the platform to his tantrum sandbox in the name of “free speech,” even protesting that activism is what’s driving people away from the site.…
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CEO campaigning for free speech gets mad people are making fun of him
November 21, 2022BREAKING NEWS — In an attempt to disavow misinformation, Elon Musk clarified in a recent tweet today that “free speech is not absolute.” The billionaire Tesla CEO, and now most recently, Twitter CEO, has entertained the internet this past week…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]