confessionals
CONFESSIONAL: I just can’t stop ending Zoom calls!
June 9, 2020It started a few months ago, when everything ended. Face-to-face interaction, that is. I thought it was finally over, that I was free from the paralyzing prison of others’ eyes and the mortifying ordeal of being seen. But alas, for me to keep “participating” in society, people have to look at my face. It was May, and I was in my first class of the semester. All those countless people were constantly staring at me. Those bitchy resting faces . . . my true nightmare. I mean, if I were really digging so desperately for attention, I would have posted…
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CONFESSIONALS: Yoga taught me to let go and steal my neighbour’s mail!
May 24, 2020Cat pose, Sphinx pose, Ragdoll . . . I inhale and exhale, and I feel all my negative energy leave me. Exiting through my palms, slipping through my fingers — just like my career has. I become nothing, everything. During…
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CONFESSIONALS: I’m a third-year English major with no clue what a thesis is
March 23, 2020I have something to confess that I’m really upset about, SFU. I’m finishing up my third year under your roof and, in all honesty, I don’t really know how I got here in the first place. More specifically, I don’t…
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CONFESSIONALS: I went vegan to save myself from family dinners
March 17, 2020Forgive me, for I have sinned. For years, I have been burdened by the torturous small talk and dad jokes that occur at every family dinner. But tonight, I have chosen to end the madness. Tonight, I choose my sanity…
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CONFESSIONALS: I’m the OG Karen
February 25, 2020I don’t know if you’re ready for my confession, SFU. Frankly, I don’t know if I am ready. But it’s time you know just who walks amongst you, ready to harass yet another UniverCity employee; it’s time you understand how…
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CONFESSIONALS: I LOVE group projects
February 17, 2020I’m scrolling through the syllabi of various course offerings and I’m looking for one thing in particular. Finally, I find it in a gender studies course. Those magical words: group project. It’s kismet and I’m sold. It feels rarer and…
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CONFESSIONALS: I’m an abandoned microwave
February 4, 2020Life at SFU isn’t easy. It’s not the humdrum grey and red that gets you, but the illusion that you might be different. That you’re the cool one. Then year after year, you lose. You lose friends. You lose bits…
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CONFESSIONALS: The housing crisis in Vancouver is ruining my sex life
October 23, 2019It’s a little after midnight. I’ve lost count of how many drinks I’ve had at this club, and I keep making too-intimate eye contact with semi-coherent, sweaty guys on the dance floor who can’t dance. There’s one guy in particular…
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CONFESSIONALS: I convinced my professor to start the tapeworm diet
September 28, 2019Forgive me, SFU trash-panda gods, for I have sinned. Disclaimer: I’m actually a PRETTY GOOD student with a decent enough GPA — well, I’m not on academic probation, at least. And I know that classes require a lot of effort.…
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CONFESSIONALS: All along, I was the closeted capitalist
September 3, 2019Hey, SFU. I’m going to start by saying that this is really hard for me to talk about. It’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life. But I’ve realized that you can’t just run away from your authentic self. Not…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]