Dildo. A word I heard for the first time on a tire swing in grade two. It was used as a personal insult by one schoolboy to another: “Dude, you’re such a dildo!” The word itself fascinated me because it was such an effective gibe — its built-in alliteration, minimal syllables, and ability to conjure images of both Dilbert and a do-do bird simultaneously. In my eyes, this playground bully was a comic genius just waiting to be discovered.
It wasn’t until I started to use the word against my brother at daycare that it was explained to me that the term I found so hilarious actually describes a sexual object, and is generally considered an inappropriate conversation topic for an eight year-old.
Nowadays, living in the Internet Age, it’s increasingly rare to meet someone who doesn’t know the meaning of the word dildo. However, for those of you who would like to get better acquainted with the dildo — and its cousins, the vibrator, the butt plug, and the cock ring — here is a little Sex Toy 101 list of definitions.
There’s a sex toy out there for just about everyone.
Dildo: A phallic object usually made of silicone that is used for stimulation and/or penetration. It may be strapped on or double-ended, and is sometimes designed to resemble a more lifelike penis. This toy is manual, which means that it keeps going until your wrist gets sore.
Vibrator: A vibrating object used to stimulate nerves, usually in the clitoris but can also be used anally. Some plug into an electrical outlet, while others run on batteries and can be waterproof. They come in many different shapes and sizes and some also function as a dildo.
Butt Plug: Shorter than a dildo and with a flanged end, it is designed to be inserted into the rectum. Can be made of latex, silicone, or glass, and when paired with plenty of lube, can be moved in and out or left in for longer periods of time.
Anal Beads: Not to be confused with a butt plug, anal beads consist of multiple balls strung together. The beads are inserted into the rectum then removed (typically upon orgasm) at various speeds to enhance pleasure.
Cock Ring: Typically worn around the base of the penis to slow blood flow to prolong an erection. Not to be confused with a Prince Albert piercing, cock rings can also be worn to restrain the testicles — some even include vibrators.
Penis Sleeve and Fleshlight: A cylindrical device used by inserting the penis into it. Often modelled in look and feel after vulvae or anuses, these penile toys replicate the sensation of intercourse.
Pumps: Used to temporarily enlarge and increase blood flow to any body part with erectile tissue, such as the penis, nipples, or clitoris. The pieces include the cylinder, the pump, and sometimes a hose or a sleeve.
Sex Machines or Sex Furniture: Chairs, stools, blocks, benches, blankets. Sex furniture makes sex easier for people with limited mobility, or who just want to get off the bed for a change. Made of material that’s easy to clean, some sex machines also hold dildos or vibrators that make for a hands-free fuck.
BDSM or bondage toys: BDSM, which stands for bondage and discipline (BD), dominance and submission (DS), and sadism and masochism (SM), can employ any number of toys for erotic pleasure. Some examples include restraints (belts, collars, cuffs), floggers and crops (used for whipping or spanking), nipple clamps, gags, and electro pads. No vanilla sex here, no sir.
DIY sex toys: Anything already at home used for pleasure! Some examples include a massaging showerhead, a vibrating toothbrush, cell phone, pillows, couch cushions, and fresh fruit. But please, for goodness’ sake, be careful and stay safe.
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The history of the sex toy goes back a lot further than you might think. The oldest dildo discovered by modern humans is a 20 cm polished stone phallus excavated near Ulm, Germany. This toy is about 28,000 years old, which means it was likely used by people in the Ice Age to warm up — if you know what I mean.
In the Middle Ages, a plant called the Cantonese groin was soaked in water and used to imitate an erection, then used as a dildo. Other plants, such as bananas, were also used in Polynesian countries; the Kama Sutra, on the other hand, makes reference to dildos made of tubular stalks or reeds.
The word dildo actually comes from the italian word diletto, which means delight. This word is surprisingly in stark contrast with the word most historically associated with sex toys in the Western world: hysteria.
The first person to classify this epidemic was the ancient Greek physician and philosopher Hippocrates, as he and many of his contemporaries believed that women suffered from a condition known as hystera (later hysteria) — named after the Greek word for uterus. The ancient Greeks thought of the uterus as an animal that wandered around inside a woman’s body, causing illness: a “wandering womb,” as they called it, could cause serious mental and physical problems.
The cure? Women were given olisbos — a phallic object usually made of leather, wood or stone — to soothe the beast within.
For centuries, hysteria was considered a medical condition in need of professional treatment, lest women fall into the moral sin of masturbation. The Hippocratic symptoms associated with hysteria included difficulty breathing, swallowing, anxiety, and fits; these all stemmed from an affliction known as “suffocation of the womb.” Its cure? Pelvic massage. (Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.)
The result of the prescribed pelvic massages performed by doctors was a “hysterical paroxysm” — what you and I would recognize as an orgasm. You know: cumming, the big O, la petite mort. Since clitoral stimulation didn’t require intercourse, in those days, it wasn’t considered sexual; it was purely medical.
By the 1900s, hysteria had become one of the most commonly cited medical illnesses — people were complaining of hysteric symptoms about as often as they were fevers. Naturally, calls for increased medical treatment increased, and the sexually repressive Victorian era saw an incredible influx of women seeking medical treatment by paroxysm. This treatment became tiresome for the wrists and fingers of most practitioners, and so machines were built to accommodate.
“The Manipulator” was one of the first vibrating massagers, patented in 1869 by American physician George Taylor. This large, wooden table was equipped with a steam-powered vibrating sphere, which the patient would lay on. While it was apparently invented to treat pelvic disorders, Dr. Taylor did warn against “overindulgence,” and prescribed that patients be supervised during its use.
Just a little over a decade later, Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville patented the first electromechanical vibrator. This machine had a 40 pound wet-cell battery, so while it was technically portable, there was still plenty of room for improvement.
At the 1900 Paris Exposition, many new types of portable medical massagers were introduced — not long afterwards, the vibrator began to move slowly from the doctor’s office to the bedroom. Did you know that the vibrator was the fifth widely available electric home appliance in North America? That’s right. Preceded only by the sewing machine, fan, kettle, and toaster, it’s clear that these buyers had their priorities straight.
In the first two decades after the turn of the century, vibrators were advertised and sold as essential home appliances, mostly to housewives. This period saw the advertisement of products such as Dr. Macaura’s Pulsocon Blood Circulator (hand crank), Vigor’s Horse-Action Saddle (vibrating chair), The American Vibrator (plugged into light bulb socket), and the White Cross Electric Vibrator (plugged into an electrical outlet, included with a myriad of applicators).
Advertisements of these products stressed their benefits without overtly mentioning anything sexual — but I’m sure any savvy reader knew what was up for grabs.
Whether it was society’s growing knowledge of female sexuality (and what those vibrators were actually being used for) or the appearance of vibrators in the stag (porn) films of the 1920s, advertisements for sex toys began to disappear from catalogues and magazines around 1930. But the toys themselves certainly didn’t go away.
The history of the sex toy between the 1930s and 1960s is pretty thin — people had learned to be discreet about their taboo bedroom habits — but sex toys maintained their popularity, leading to what is now a $15 billion industry. Among sex toy users, women are the biggest fans: in North America, 44 per cent of women between 18 and 60 have admitted to using a sex toy.
Sex toys have maintained their popularity, leading to what is now a $15 billion industry.
You may recognize some of the following products from snooping in your grandma’s room: the Miracle Ball-Grip Massager, the Wahl Hand-E Electric Vibrator, the Hollywood Vibra-Tone, or the Spot Reducer. There’s no way to know for sure, but come on; I’m pretty sure these were used for more than what was described on the box.
Predictably, the written history of the sex toy doesn’t pick up again until the sexual reawakening of the late 1960s and early 1970s. The electric vibrator wasn’t publicly reintroduced as a pleasure device until 1973 by Betty Dodson at a women’s sexuality conference. It was here that she promoted the use of the still-popular-today Hitachi Magic Wand — the vibrator to end all vibrators.
Since that day, vibrators, dildos and everything in between have built up a large fanbase. Today, there are toys available that are more body-safe, versatile, waterproof, quiet, and effective than ever before; and, as it turns out, there’s a toy out there for just about everyone.
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So what’s all the buzz about, anyways? Well, to start, orgasms have many health benefits: they’ve been known to suppress pain, relieve stress, and improve sleep. For folks who don’t have a significant other or fuck buddy on hand, a sex toy sure can come in hand-y.
Sex toys can also be adapted to meet a variety of their users’ needs — some toys can accommodate increased or decreased sensation, mobility and motor control issues, and fatigue, to name a few.
Sex toys can also be crucial in defining a person’s sexuality, pleasure, and intimacy if they are living with a disability. For example, diseases such as multiple sclerosis can damage nerve pathways to sexual organs, and affect mobility and fatigue. Some vibrators which are inserted vaginally or anally — or worn as a ring around the penis — can be controlled with a remote, and some dildos can be fastened to harnesses or used with the help of a partner. Thanks to sex toys, people with physical disabilities can get off just as well as those without.
Speaking of sex toys in relationships, many of you may be wondering: why would you need one? Well, contrary to some beliefs that sex toys are only for lonely single folk, plenty of toys are used in couples because they provide different sensations than what another body part can. Why limit yourself, right?
As long as there is open communication, approaching your partner(s) about using a toy can be simple and fun. Some people with vulvae need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm (hint: vibrator), and you’ll never know what a butt plug can do to spice up your sex (until you try it). There are also scores of sex toys that work better with two people than one (whips, cock rings with clitoral stimulators — the list goes on.
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Hopefully I’ve piqued your interest as to what toys are available to you. The next step is to get out there and buy one already! For some expert advice on choosing a toy, I sat down with Brit Carpenter from Womyn’s Ware, Vancouver’s best sex-positive shop. What are they all about? “Helping people express themselves in healthy, positive ways,” says Carpenter. “We have everything out on display for people to feel and see if the controls work for them.”
When buying a toy, especially if it’s your first toy, it’s important to do your research. You should know what you’re looking for (BDSM toy, butt plug, cock ring, dildo, vibrator — pick your poison), as well as how much you’re willing to spend on it. If you’re shopping for a toy you plan to use with your partner(s), bring them along! “Come with enough time to really talk about it,” Carpenter suggests. “Do research and some self exploration and have an idea of what you’re after.”
Choosing a store to buy from is equally important. “Most of those XXX stores you walk into don’t have the research or education,” says Carpenter. “We do a lot of research to make sure that when an order comes in, it’s safe and it works and we can warrant it.” I recommend buying from a store that’s local, well-lit, clean, and where the staff is friendly and informed — it sure beats one of those dingy, windowless shops you tend to find in abandoned strip malls.
Of course, the most important thing to remember when buying a sex toy is that you are the expert on your own sexual health and pleasure. There are no wrong answers when it comes to picking the perfect sex toy for you; but that doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of people and helpful resources that can help you on your way. Some of my favourite resources are local sex shop Womyn’s Ware; online toy retailer Come As You Are; webcomic Oh Joy! Sex Toy; and sexual health clinic Options, with locations across the Lower Mainland.
Well, what are you waiting for? Get out there and enjoy!
