Get in girl, we’re serotoninmaxxing

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Dear diary,  Today, I watched a reel of a mother telling her daughters to go outside via a parody of Jojo...

Local enby starting every conversation with “have you purchased my gift yet?” during their birthday month

By: C Icart, Humour Editor After 11 torturous non-birthday months, soon to be 25-year-old Blue Rose (again, totally not a pseudonym I am making up...

STORYTIME: THE SPIDER IN MY BATHROOM HAS A FINSTA (part 3)

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Y’allllll. I don’t wanna hear it, I don’t wanna hear it! I know I’m posting this storytime late, but is...

Former SFU mascot candidate grilled by hiring manager

By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer I sit down at the table, its surface cold against my trembling hands. The smooth papers rustle beneath my palms,...

Ranking dairy alternatives from a cultured lactose intolerant’s perspective

By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer Picture this: it’s a Monday morning, you’ve just found out that you’re lactose intolerant (or maybe have issues digesting...

Traitors vs. Faithfuls: The Quiz

By: Saije Rusimovici, Staff Writer Are you a Traitor or a Faithful? The campus is divided. A select few are chosen as Traitors, tasked with...

The great wall of SFU under siege

By: Sude Guvendik, Staff Writer Dear SFU climbers,  Hold onto your harnesses because there’s some wild news — the SFU Climbing Wall, that vertical haven of...

SFU Alert: Transit strikes again

By: Sonya Janeshewski, SFU Student January 23, 2024, 8:20 a.m.: All students are required to join the hiking club in light of the transit...

STORYTIME: THE SPIDER IN MY BATHROOM HAS A FINSTA

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! I’m sure everyone has been wondering where I’ve been because y’all are obsessed...

SFSS Council’s Quest for a Rights-Free Utopia

By: Sude Guvendik, Staff Writer Greetings, fellow students of wit, wisdom, and occasionally questionable decision-making! Let’s turn to another page of SFSS council drama, where...