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Tuesday, July 14, 2020

QUIZ: Do you have a Snap Streak or do you respect yourself?

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor How old are you? a) Baby b) Bewildered How susceptible are you to peer pressure? a) Shine bright like a...

“Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm,” man coos at decorative candles

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor “People are always criticizing me for buying things I don’t need,” says Sean. “But it’s not about whether I...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: June 1–7

Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: You’ve always been annoyed by unoriginal people. You’re just so sick of Instagram users screenshotting tweets and reposting...

“I miss my sisters,” says treasurer who can’t defraud her sorority anymore

By: Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor BURNABY, BC — Gracie O’Brien, a fourth year economics student at SFU, reported in several of her group chats this...

Fake friendships to reopen on “optional, part-time basis”

By: Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Forget the economy: it’s time to bring back an even more arbitrary part of our lives, authorities say. The British...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: May 25–31

By: Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: You’re en route to make a better comeback than all the ice cream trucks randomly reappearing. Like a phoenix, you...

CONFESSIONALS: Yoga taught me to let go and steal my neighbour’s mail!

By: Michelle Young, Staff Writer  Cat pose, Sphinx pose, Ragdoll . . . I inhale and exhale, and I feel all my negative energy leave me....

“peasants i am leaving you for something better”: A Simon Fraser story

By: Hannah Davis, Peak Associate I gaze at my reflection in a silver spoon in Mackenzie Café, untangle a perfect curl from my mile-long natural...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: May 18-24

Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: Is that special someone (who isn’t actually that special, but you’re acting like they are) not responding again?...

Six Quick & Easy Breads To Cuddle For Your Touch Starvation

Written by Devana Petrovic, Staff Writer Let’s be real here: you’re lonely. You’re isolated, and you’re starved . . . touch-starved, to be exact. You’ve...