Most popular couple in grade 12 shockingly breaks up on third week of university
Written by Gabrielle McLaren, Editor-in-Chief
BURNABY, BC — To the absolute shock of their community, Crystal Lemay and Hunter O’Brian, the hottest couple in the...
Meet Alex Mac-Queen: How a local hypebeast paid his tuition by reselling Balenciaga sweaters
Written by Kayli Jamieson, SFU Student
The resell game among SFU students has always been quite strong in the textbook department. But who could anticipate...
Seven TOTALLY accurate Netflix documentaries about SFU airing this September
Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor
It’s that time of year again. As the leaves prepare to brown and the SFSS prepares to host yet...
Your weekly SFU horoscopes: September 9–15
Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor
Aries
Falling asleep on Burnaby Mountain is risky this week. You might find yourself sleepwalking across campus while dreaming of...
“God is all you need,” professor tells class after refusing to hold office hours
Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor
BURNABY, BC — An English professor at SFU has opted out of his office hours, telling students that the...
Wobbly step to lower bus loop victimizes 12 first years and counting
Written by Jennifer Low, Peak Associate
Yet another student is in critical condition after trying to take the stairs to the lower bus loop at...
QUIZ: SFU, are you in love with the gondola? Or is he just really,...
Written by Katie Hemion, Staff Writer
It’s the question on all of our minds here at SFU: Are you in love with that tall, tall,...
Seven things SFU was WRONG to welcome back to campus
Written by Marco Ovies, Staff Writer
That guy who types too loudly in lecture
His typing is obnoxiously loud. But he’s not actually typing...
Man celebrated as an ally for saying gay guys can blow during beer pong,...
Written by Dominic Wildebee
VANCOUVER, B.C. — Last Thursday evening, a local straight man intervened in a beer pong dispute, telling all four participants that...
First-years deprived of icebreakers after climate change melts all remaining ice
Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor
This Tuesday, countless TAs discovered to their horror that it might not be possible to hold icebreaker activities for...
