The case of the missing cat

By: Ace Ventura, Pet Detective It was a typical afternoon scrolling through my favourite micro-influencer’s Instagram — my barber’s grandma’s neighbour’s dog Leroy, when I...

A guide to thriving as a regular guy

By: Mason Mattu, Minister of Sarcastic Affairs Dear Justin,  It’s the end of an era, buddy old pal. In your nine years in office, you put...

Horoscopes March 24–30

By: Phone Min Thant, Staff Writer Aries March 21–April 19  Feeling guilty about only going to two out of 11 weeks of classes? It’s alright; there are...

The Peak investigates: Maple Syrup Gate

By: Mason Mattu, Investigative Journalist As an investigative journalist with The Peak, I have taken it upon myself to investigate the most harrowing and shocking...

Behaviours I refuse to take part in

By: C Icart, Humour Editor YouTube keeps recommending I watch this video essay about how hobbies are the new commodity/fashion trend, but I cannot be...

Cars I hate to drive behind: a review

By: Kaja Antic, Sports Writer As a seasoned driver in the Lower Mainland, I have spent many hours stuck behind a variety of vehicles. Whether...

I was shook and lived to tell the tale

By: C Icart, Humour Editor The earth shook. We all experienced it. Within minutes there was a megathread about it on r/vancouver and people were...

Never have I ever: Public transit edition

By: Osna Hadef, SFU Student Is it just me, or has Metro Vancouver’s public transit system gone to the dogs lately? All while the fares...

Top five WWE moves to destroy ChatGPT

By: Mason Mattu, professional AI assassin I may be a News Writer for The Peak — but on the side, I am a professional AI...

Suspicious coughing in the classroom

By: Phone Min Thant, Staff Writer People like to boast about ditching class, and honestly, why not? Why would you spend two to three hours...