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Sunday, February 28, 2021

SFU heroically lowers their own bar even further with P/CR/NR grading for electives

By: Nancy La, SFU Student After almost a full year of online classes, SFU finally wakes up from its slumber and decides that yes, students...

Four things that would’ve protected the Capitol better than their security

By: Alex Masse, Staff Writer Okay, so, the whole Capitol coup happened, right? And the officers supposedly protecting the place kind of . . ....

SFU-inspired cocktails to drown your university-related sorrows

By: Kyla Dowling, Staff Writer CW: Mentions of blood, mental health The Midterm Season An iced-coffee inspired cocktail that is basically a $9 Starbucks drink with pizazz...

Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: February 1–7

By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor ARIES: BARK! BARK! BARK! WOOF WOOF! BARK! TAURUS: Try split-dyeing your hair, Taurus. All the cool kids are doing it. You’ve...

Top Ten reasons I’ve been unable to catch some shuteye

By: Clarence Ndabahwerize, SFU Student The collapse of liberal western democracy Imagine waking up to find the Scottish unicorn on your passport in your room...

How quarantine has completely destroyed my socialization skills

By: Madeleine Chan, Kyla Dowling, and Nathan Tok I can’t leave people on read IRL? (Madeleine) I think I realized that human interaction isn’t for me...

Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: January 25–31

By: Alex Masse, Staff Writer ARIES: Have you invested in “screaming into the void” lately? I think it’d be really therapeutic for you. If no...

Pets unionize, annoyed with owners using them as compensation for a lack of online...

By: Juztin Bello, SFU Alumnus Vancouver, BC — Following an influx of complaints from household pets regarding inaccurate quoting for captions on Instagram, zero compensation...

SFU economics alumnus solves Canadian global debt crisis by suggesting we “print more money”

By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor VANCOUVER, BC — A recent graduate from the SFU department of economics, Matthew Lashuk, has gone where no other economist...

The haunting of all the books I have bought but never read: a memoir

By: Kyla Dowling, Staff Writer I can feel them watching me.   The clown on the cover of It by Stephen King, the main character of Leo...